it's quiet in here (1 Viewer)

snap-apple

New Member
Supporter
Since 2000
Joined
Dec 13, 2000
Messages
4,073
so here's something to ponder

"EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES"
Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones"
come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes.
By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in
twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize
the pattern.

"YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU [When you die]"
Well.....that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can
certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you
can probably putsome things in your pockets.

"YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY"
Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just
learned it doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is
a good example of this.

"THE SKY'S THE LIMIT"
Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit
is that? The earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep
getting? More earth. The earth is the limit.

"YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR"
Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive
person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you
check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get whatever they feel
like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might
not even get that.

"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY"
Not neccesarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is
going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If
it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time,
it will be today again.

"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST"
Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a
field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval
times it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can
see how limited those people were.

"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL"
Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious. If you've
seen one, you've seen ... one. If you've seen them all, *then* you've seen
them all. I don't even understand how this one got started.

"THOSE WERE THE DAYS"
No. Those were the nights! Think back. Weren't the nights better? Days you
had to work. Nights you went to parties. "Those were the nights!"

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH"
What about when you eat at home? I don't pay when I eat lunch at home it's
FREE! Sometimes I'll leave a tip, but basically, it's a free lunch.
Yes, I know we had to buy the food at the store. But as the Zen Buddhists
say, 'The Food Is Not the Lunch'.

"YOU PAY YOUR MONEY, AND YOU TAKE YOUR CHANCES"
I think what I said earlier still applies" You pays your money and you takes
whatever they jolly well give you. Actually, when you get right down to it,
you pays your money and you loses your money.

"EVERYBODY HAS HIS PRICE"
Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people who do not have their
price? Thanks to a government mix-up, many people have their neighbors
price.

"THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TO"
Actually they do make 'em like they used to, they just don't sell 'em
anymore. They make 'em, and then they keep 'em.

"TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT"
Well, it just so happens that two wrongs do make a right. Not only that, but
as the number of wrongs increases, the whole thing goes up exponentially. So
that while two wrongs make one right, and four wrongs make two rights, it
actually takes sixteen wrongs to make three rights, and 256 wrongs to make
four rights. It seems to me that anyone who is stringing together 256 wrongs
needs counseling, not mathematics.

"IF IT'S NOT ONE THING, IT'S ANOTHER"
No, not always. Sometimes if it's not one thing, not only is it not another,
but it turns out to be something else entirely.

"YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL"
Not true. Believe it or not, there is a man somewhere in Illinois who, so
far, has won them all. But don't get too excited; it has also been
discovered that it is possible to lose them all. By the way, there is no
record of anyone having tied them all.

"THINGS HAVE TO GET BETTER, THEY CAN'T GET ANY WORSE"
This is an example of truly faulty logic. Just because things can't get any
worse, is no reason to believe they have to get better. They might just stay
the same. And, by the way, who says things can't get any worse?
For many people, things get worse and worse and worse and worse.

"NOBODY EVER SAID THAT LIFE WAS FAIR"
I specifically remember as I was growing up, at least twelve different
people, telling me life was fair. One person put it this way; "Life, you
will find, is fair." Oddly enough, all twelve of those people died before
the age of twenty-seven.

"IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO"
Sounds good, but simple reasoning will reveal that actually it takes only
one to tango. It does take two to tango together, maybe. But one person is
certainly capable of tangoing on his own. He just might look a little silly.

"THERE'S A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE, AND TWO TO TAKE HIM"
This may have been true in the past, but now, if you adjust for the
increased population base, birth control, and the so-called moral decline,
not only are there five suckers born every minute, there are now fifty-three
to take him.

"WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU"
Why don't we just ask Julius Caesar and John F. Kennedy about this one?

"LIFE IS SHORT"
Sorry. Life is not short, it's just that everything else lasts so long
-mountains, rivers, stars, planets - life seems short. Actually life lasts
just the right amount of time. Until you die.
 
well, it was quiet - of course there were squillions of posts the second this went up - d'oh
 
all manner of nice food is banned where i work, especially on nice days like today *sniff*
 
i just had a bottle of lucozade. but yeah, an icecream would really hit the spot. what were those ones with the multicoloured biscuity powder on the outside called?
 
bing-go.

aw fantastic. do they still make those?

feasts (origional with the cooking chocolate slices in the middle) and brunches. mine was not a deprived childhood.
 
Hector Grey (26 Mar, 2002 03:17 p.m.):
where do you work? dachau?

he he that made me laugh out loud, now I'm on my final written warning

at least they let you out in the open air in dachau
 
sorry about that squire, but written warnings are for school children. last time i got a written warning i handed in me notice. deadly.

not that i suggest you try that...
 
at least they don't send it to your parents.

this bloke i know of in america got caught processing samples on one of his school's computers and was given a detention slip. the comment was something like "making noise on computers: 3 days detention". hes very proud of it and is going to use it as an album cover.

thats really off the point as usual but its done now.
 
Hector Grey (26 Mar, 2002 05:04 p.m.):
sorry about that squire, but written warnings are for school children. last time i got a written warning i handed in me notice. deadly.

not that i suggest you try that...

only messin hector, this place is a doss. I mean, I fuck about on thumped all day for one thing. They just don't allow ice-cream goods at the desk, or any food for that matter. It was the rodents who put and end to all that...yay for rats!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Activity
So far there's no one here
Old Thread: Hello . There have been no replies in this thread for 365 days.
Content in this thread may no longer be relevant.
Perhaps it would be better to start a new thread instead.

21 Day Calendar

Lau (Unplugged)
The Sugar Club
8 Leeson Street Lower, Saint Kevin's, Dublin 2, D02 ET97, Ireland

Support thumped.com

Support thumped.com and upgrade your account

Upgrade your account now to disable all ads...

Upgrade now

Latest threads

Latest Activity

Loading…
Back
Top