Woke up this morning and immediately sensed that something wasn't right. Their was an ominous wave of dread pouring into the room. Was almost afraid to get out of the bed but being the man of the house and one of the bravest people on our street Pighead felt obliged to go downstairs and make sure everything was a-ok.
Checked all around the house and apart from a Celia Ahern novel lying on the sitting room table everything seemed to be in order. Went outside and the smell immediately engulfed Pighead. Pighead had smelt this smell before. This was the putrid smell of DEATH. The same smell had wafted up Pighead's nostrils 17 years previously when he accidently electrocuted his faithful dog Shep whilst trying to curl his hair during bathtime.
Looked around the yard panicking praying to the Lord Jesus that Miss Piggy hadn't fallen out the window or worse still the new dog hadn't died whilst choking on one of his doggy bones. Then Pighead saw the cause of the putrid smell. It was a dead bird. Pighead immediately knew it was dead because he was standing on it and it wasn't trying to get away. This bird was deader than George Bush Jr's eyes. Deader than the atmosphere at a Longford Town V Drogheda Utd league of Ireland match. Deader than Irelands chances of Eurovision glory in 2011.
Am sitting here typing now with the dead bird in my coat pocket. Question is this. Is it ok to dump the corpse in a wheely bin or does Pighead have to dig a bucking grave for the bucking thing? Is there laws against throwing dead bodies into wheelie bins? To tell the truth the last thing Pighead wants to do is dig a grave. His hands are still absolutely freezing from the winter just passed and holding shovels give him nasty blisters. Whats the best way to dispose of the bird?
Checked all around the house and apart from a Celia Ahern novel lying on the sitting room table everything seemed to be in order. Went outside and the smell immediately engulfed Pighead. Pighead had smelt this smell before. This was the putrid smell of DEATH. The same smell had wafted up Pighead's nostrils 17 years previously when he accidently electrocuted his faithful dog Shep whilst trying to curl his hair during bathtime.
Looked around the yard panicking praying to the Lord Jesus that Miss Piggy hadn't fallen out the window or worse still the new dog hadn't died whilst choking on one of his doggy bones. Then Pighead saw the cause of the putrid smell. It was a dead bird. Pighead immediately knew it was dead because he was standing on it and it wasn't trying to get away. This bird was deader than George Bush Jr's eyes. Deader than the atmosphere at a Longford Town V Drogheda Utd league of Ireland match. Deader than Irelands chances of Eurovision glory in 2011.
Am sitting here typing now with the dead bird in my coat pocket. Question is this. Is it ok to dump the corpse in a wheely bin or does Pighead have to dig a bucking grave for the bucking thing? Is there laws against throwing dead bodies into wheelie bins? To tell the truth the last thing Pighead wants to do is dig a grave. His hands are still absolutely freezing from the winter just passed and holding shovels give him nasty blisters. Whats the best way to dispose of the bird?
