giving money to beggars (1 Viewer)

[La La]

i know a girl who, because she didnt want to give money to every single beggar who approached her, just used the method of giving money to every third person she'd see begging.

i cant say i adopt the same approach. i tend to give whatever shrapnel i have lying around to the old people who are begging. i dont know if its cos i feel sorrier for them, (it does make me feel really sad) or that i think younger people at least have the energy to try and get work doing something.

for all i know they could go spend it on booze, but i always find myself digging into my pockets for older homeless people who are begging.

for my friend it was one in three, for me it's older people.
im just wondering if anyone else has a "rule" (for want of a much better word) when it comes to giving change. or if, as a rule, you dont give any at all.

 

[Buzzo]

I politely ask them why they are so lazy and why I should give them my hard earned money. If they start moaning about their hard life I roar abuse at them.
I'd say my gentle probing/abuse sinks in to some level and eventually they will cop on/grow up.

But really, before I got the job I have (which has lead to me knowing a lot of the Dublin beggars personally) I was pretty random in my giving. Loads of shit influenced it- who I was with, how much money I had, what mood I was in, the state of the person begging, my sobriety or lack of etc.

Lala I know a couple of people who would be similar to you in having more sympathy for old folk. Them and lil kids do tug at the heartstrings a bit more I guess.

 

[Doctor Muscles]

"Get a god-damn job Al"

 

[KokaneeCowgirl]

Lala I feel the exact same way. Even if they are alcoholics, I don't mind so much if they're older because at their age, they're not likely to have an epiphany and go sober (in fact sobriety could probably be too big a shock to their systems, especially if they've been addicted to the drink for years and years).

On the other hand, I have an older brother (31) who has been in and out of rehab the last number of years for an addiction to crystal meth. I wouldn't give him a red cent because he's a fucking idiot and would only spend it on drugs or crazy things he doesn't need such as meat mincers and pie tins. Also, my mother would bend over backwards to help him and often pays his rent when he blows his money, which doesn't help him at all.

Should I be worried that I would sooner help an unknown geriatric drunk than my own brother???

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

tell us more about your brother!
does he lead a wild gay lifestyle????

 

[pete]

as a rule, you dont give any at all.

hello

 

[La La]

Should I be worried that I would sooner help an unknown geriatric drunk than my own brother???

not if your brother's been given the chance to get his life on track. but then again the unknown geriatric drunk may have too.

oh, the moral dilemmas of life.

 

[Buzzo]

Should I be worried that I would sooner help an unknown geriatric drunk than my own brother???

Really really sorry to hear about your brother. It must be rotten for you and your family.

Without being too presumptuous, and without getting into it too much, what your Mum is doing is natural and usual. Your reaction is too. You care about him, giving him money would be enabling/facilitating his habit and I presume you don't want to be part of his self destruction*. Strangers, on the other hand, you don't care about as much so you're reacting on a more superficial level.

*that's not to say giving him money is wrong either. People react differently in these situations, particularly mothers (not to depersonalise it but I don't know the intimacies of your family's situation).

 

[KokaneeCowgirl]

not if your brother's been given the chance to get his life on track. but then again the unknown geriatric drunk may have too.

oh, the moral dilemmas of life.

He's had loads of chances. I probably seem like a hard-faced bitch but I really haven't much sympathy for him. It always kinda bugs me when people make recovering drug addicts out to be 'heroes' for beating their habits. I do commend them, don't get me wrong - but is it really heroic to stop doing something that was killing you and hurting the people around you?

 

[theoootini]

sufi might have something to say about this seeing how she works with homeless people....those coppers you drop into their cups only goes to soothing your own conscience. plain and simple. in so far as a couple of quid might help someone buy a meal (or cider) it does nothing to relieve the very real pain of poverty/homelessness/addiction. i personally drop coppers into paper cups regularly enough, but its more out of some sense of middle class guilt than a desire to genuinely do something to help, other than give some change and shake my head slowly saying "tut tut, that poor person"

 

[KokaneeCowgirl]

tell us more about your brother!
does he lead a wild gay lifestyle????

No - he just buys products every gay would envy when he's high (ever wanted a yogurt maker?).

Really really sorry to hear about your brother. It must be rotten for you and your family.
*that's not to say giving him money is wrong either. People react differently in these situations, particularly mothers (not to depersonalise it but I don't know the intimacies of your family's situation).

Ah thanks, I appreciate it. I just hate to see my mam get taken for a ride. My brother and I have never really been close so I hate him more for how his habits affect my mother than anything else.

 

[Buzzo]

sufi might have something to say about this seeing how she works with homeless people....those coppers you drop into their cups only goes to soothing your own conscience. plain and simple. in so far as a couple of quid might help someone buy a meal (or cider) it does nothing to relieve the very real pain of poverty/homelessness/addiction. i personally drop coppers into paper cups regularly enough, but its more out of some sense of middle class guilt than a desire to genuinely do something to help, other than give some change and shake my head slowly saying "tut tut, that poor person"

This makes sense. However, bear in mind that the people who are out begging are probably doing so as an alternative to robbing. That's not to say they necessarily deserve your money, but it may not be completely redundant.

 

[theoootini]

This makes sense. However, bear in mind that the people who are out begging are probably doing so as an alternative to robbing. That's not to say they necessarily deserve your money, but it may not be completely redundant.

ya..thats true i guess. i still think for all intents and purposes it's an totally empty gesture. why not give money to organisations that directly deal with homelessness? (saying that, i don't...maybe i'll shut up now)

 

[Janer]

i know a girl who, because she didnt want to give money to every single beggar who approached her, just used the method of giving money to every third person she'd see begging.

B4 I go thru this thread any further my gf's father when he was alive used to bet on every 3rd favourite in a horse race lol
I used to explain to him how random that was and no skill whatsoever.

Needless to say he ignored me and also made no money in the bookies.

 

[Sufi]

I work with homeless people and since i have started that work ive pretty much stopped giving money to them. More so because i would know most of the lads and it wouldnt be very profesional of me to start handing out my cash to them.

I think its up to the individual to do what they want with their own money and to be honest if somone is willing to sit on the street for hours in the rain just to get enought money together to get a few can's or whatever then they prob need that can more than you need that extra packet of tayto's or whatever.

But i dont like this thing of lads giving abuse to people who wont give them cash. Noone in dublin will ever starve because you dont give them your spare change so you shuoldnt feel guilty for not giving over money.

As i said I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.

 

[Goff]

ya..thats true i guess. i still think for all intents and purposes it's an totally empty gesture. why not give money to organisations that directly deal with homelessness? (saying that, i don't...maybe i'll shut up now)

Better to give to the organisations, methinks.

I think most doctors wouldn't agree that sobriety is a bigger shock to the system than alcohol. Better to be sober. More of a chance at an extended life.

I also don't think that it's an alternative to crime.

Add to the fact that there are organised gangs of beggars out there (they used to drop them outside work in a van).

The last time I gave money to someone who looked really needy, he ended up spending it in the same pub as me later, having a rare oul' time.

And that's not to denigrate the homeless. Because it's a big problem. It's just the ones in the above examples are professional beggars and not homeless.

So, if you can't tell the difference, best to give it to people who can.

 

[La La]

those coppers you drop into their cups only goes to soothing your own conscience. plain and simple. in so far as a couple of quid might help someone buy a meal (or cider) it does nothing to relieve the very real pain of poverty/homelessness/addiction. i personally drop coppers into paper cups regularly enough, but its more out of some sense of middle class guilt than a desire to genuinely do something to help, other than give some change and shake my head slowly saying "tut tut, that poor person"

i agree. i know im not gonna solve the massive problem that is homelessness through giving my spare change - i just get guilty when i pass by cos i think "he/she needs it more than i do"
even though i dont know how it will be spent.

 

[broken arm]

....those coppers you drop into their cups only goes to soothing your own conscience. plain and simple. in so far as a couple of quid might help someone buy a meal (or cider) it does nothing to relieve the very real pain of poverty/homelessness/addiction.

i don't realy buy this as you don't know the full history of homeless people. not all are waster addict wankers.

hearing some of the stories of the Big Issue sellers proves this.

but yea, systemic issues need to be addressed.

 

[Buzzo]

I also don't think that it's an alternative to crime.

Begging is a crime/public order offence that people get arrested and charged with everyday. I know what you mean in terms of property crime though, and that may be your moral stance on it, but for a lot of people with an addiction who don't have the economic resources to feed it, it's a very real alternative.

 

[La La]

so what should people do? i guess i'm feeding a problem everytime i drop money into a paper cup,(am I???) and yet i feel like a bigger bitch if i keep walking, knowing there are a few coins in my pocket i genuinely dont need.
id be interested to hear sufi talk about this some more as it is a problem (particularly after living in san francisco) that i have become interested in. as i recall bohs punks does work with homeless people too.