Depression [Aware Helpline 1890 303 302] (1 Viewer)

[Jill Hives]

dealing with the side effects when coming off was enough to convince me that there was stuff going in to my body that i wasn't comfortable with.

Understandable. Seriously regular exercise (at least 20 minutes per day) has been said to have the same effects as taking anti-depressants. However, like I said, if you're depressed it's damn hard to motivate yourself to do it.

Is it depression or anxiety? They are two wholly different afflictions.

 

[sarah]

hey, this may have been covered but I don't have time right now to trawl through the whole thread...but does anyone have any herbal/natural alternatives to anti-depressants that they would recommend? I stopped taking mine as I don't feel comfortable being chemically dependant anymore and am pretty happy to try and cope without anything but am going through a really rough time right now and could probably use something to help with the anxiety/depression. st.john's wort not being available over the counter here (along with most other proven herbal anti-depressants) is there anything out there that is as good? any feedback appreciated, thanks xxx

Hey there, was just reading about St John's wort.. I'll try and find the article that was referenced, but in various trials they showed that it was as effective as a placebo. I would recommend that you maybe try and find a recommended therapist to talk to, in the long run they will be the one's that will help you challenge negative thoughts and to identify and deal with them. Slower process than meds but more effective in the long run... know this isn't hugely useful in making you feel better right now but it's definitely proven to be the most effective way for long term mental health. Maybe someone here could recommend you a cognitive behavioural therapist it sounds really good from what i've read about it.

 

[TrueLoveWaits]

Is it depression or anxiety? They are two wholly different afflictions.

I have suffered from both, depression quite badly in the past. At the moment though it is mainly anxiety...I tend to be able to pull myself out of any turns toward depression fairly swiftly but am finding the anxiety harder to control. It is strange, when I feel I am slipping into depression and a tendency to shut myself away and brood I can generally shake myself up and rationalise how I am feeling (techniques I learned in therapy help) with the anxiety though, it just overwhelms me and can be really hard to shift...I end up descending into panic attacks and that is not somewhere I want to be again considering I thought I had put it behind me.

 

[TrueLoveWaits]

Hey there, was just reading about St John's wort.. I'll try and find the article that was referenced, but in various trials they showed that it was as effective as a placebo. I would recommend that you maybe try and find a recommended therapist to talk to, in the long run they will be the one's that will help you challenge negative thoughts and to identify and deal with them. Slower process than meds but more effective in the long run... know this isn't hugely useful in making you feel better right now but it's definitely proven to be the most effective way for long term mental health. Maybe someone here could recommend you a cognitive behavioural therapist it sounds really good from what i've read about it.

hey, thanks Sarah...I have tried therapy in the past and found it very helpful...it is something I may need to think about again. the difficulty with it is that I became very comfortable with my old therapist who was excellent but my work hours don't suit to be able to go back to her. the thought of sourcing someone new is daunting, but you are absolutely right, it works and might be the best thing in the long run. I guess when you think you are done with all of this, therapy, medication etc., it can be hard to admit you may need to re-visit, even when you know it is the right thing to do.

 

[Jill Hives]

I have suffered from both, depression quite badly in the past. At the moment though it is mainly anxiety...I tend to be able to pull myself out of any turns toward depression fairly swiftly but am finding the anxiety harder to control. It is strange, when I feel I am slipping into depression and a tendency to shut myself away and brood I can generally shake myself up and rationalise how I am feeling (techniques I learned in therapy help) with the anxiety though, it just overwhelms me and can be really hard to shift...I end up descending into panic attacks and that is not somewhere I want to be again considering I thought I had put it behind me.

Obviously not medical advice but I would suggest doing yoga. Not only will it help with the exercise but it will help you with your breathing. Learn to master your breathing. Buy a mat and a dvd and do it every day a home.

 

[Wobbler]

Been working slowly through this thread (I normally ignore stickies - sorry Hector).

My wife has been diagnosed with acute depression last week. Going to the doctor was a very positive step and in a weird sort of way being diagnosed gave her a bit of a boost, sometimes her self esteem has been so low that she didn't even believe she was really sick. She's been prescribed a drug called Lustral - does anybody have any experience with it? The label says that it will be at least 2 weeks before you notice anything but she's already been having side effects (dizziness, confusion, her short term memory is fucked, cramps) is this something we should worry about?

It can be hard to fully understand what she's been going through. I also find it hard to know what I should be doing. I've just been trying to be as supportive as possible, trying to appear stong (basically a big fucking lie) and trying not to take certain parts of her behaviour too personally.

I'm stressed and exhausted but I think we're making progress.

Anyone ever been in my position?

 

[Goff]

She's been prescribed a drug called Lustral - does anybody have any experience with it? The label says that it will be at least 2 weeks before you notice anything but she's already been having side effects (dizziness, confusion, her short term memory is fucked, cramps) is this something we should worry about?


Anyone ever been in my position?

I've mentioned before that anyone in your position should try and get a copy of Tony Bate's Book Depression - A Commonsense Approach. There's a very good chapter on it about understanding from a non-suffere's point of view. It's helped a lot of people I know to understand people with depression (myself included when I was affected).

Lustral is good if it's the correct dosage. I was being underprescribed for a few months and, apart from the side effects, it was fuck all use. Only when the college shrink gave me the proper dosage did it help and then it was swift.

Bear in mind that the recommended approach is counselling AND medication. Don't let them sell your wife short on the former. CBT is quite effective for non-recurrence.

It can be a tough road, but it's not never-ending. Try and be as supportive as you can no matter how hard it is. And she won't mean half the things she says about you. Don't take them personally. It's a very lonely sefl-absorbed thing to go through. Just remember that it's an illness and can be cured.

Hope it works out for you both. Keep the faith.

 

[Wobbler]

I've mentioned before that anyone in your position should try and get a copy of Tony Bate's Book Depression - A Commonsense Approach. There's a very good chapter on it about understanding from a non-suffere's point of view. It's helped a lot of people I know to understand people with depression (myself included when I was affected).

Lustral is good if it's the correct dosage. I was being underprescribed for a few months and, apart from the side effects, it was fuck all use. Only when the college shrink gave me the proper dosage did it help and then it was swift.

Bear in mind that the recommended approach is counselling AND medication. Don't let them sell your wife short on the former. CBT is quite effective for non-recurrence.

It can be a tough road, but it's not never-ending. Try and be as supportive as you can no matter how hard it is. And she won't mean half the things she says about you. Don't take them personally. It's a very lonely sefl-absorbed thing to go through. Just remember that it's an illness and can be cured.

Hope it works out for you both. Keep the faith.

Yeah, I read your post in work today and went to Eason's to look for that book but without joy. I ended up getting Living With The Black Dog which is shit so far but am hopeful it will give me some useful insight. I'll look elsewhere for the Bates book.

The girl herself is having quite a gloomy day today. It kills me to see her like that. I keep asking myself what I can do to make her laugh or smile but I know it's mostly pointless. Besides, when I spend too much time with her, I know I get irritating. So trying to keep my distance too. This can be lonely though, I really miss her.

She's taken to going for walks when she's down, which I think is a good idea, she normally feels a little better after. She's due to see the doctor on Friday and I'll get her to push for counceling. I'm actually considering getting some for myself. Does that sound normal? Is it a good idea?

 

[Wobbler]

Thanks for your advice Goff and thanks for the rep Sweet Oblivian

 

[sweetoblivion]

no problem mister The hardest thing when someone so close to you (be it partner, friend, family member) has depression is the helplessness, which you've described above. It's the 'what can I DO??' feeling. Most of the time, you don't have to 'do' anything. You have to just be there, show your support quietly, just by listening or hugging or holding hands, or even just leaving her alone to do her thing. Simple things to show that you support her whatever she's going through. You will feel frustrated at times and helpless but the fact that you are eager to find out how to support her through this is wonderful.
Having therapy yourself might be a very good idea too to help you deal with the emotions you're going through. It might help you process it all better and give you tools to deal with it.

The fact she's going for walks is good, definitely. And Goff gave some great advice there about CBT etc.

I hope that things work out for her and she gets the best treatment that works for her.

 

[Goff]

The girl herself is having quite a gloomy day today. It kills me to see her like that. I keep asking myself what I can do to make her laugh or smile but I know it's mostly pointless. Besides, when I spend too much time with her, I know I get irritating. So trying to keep my distance too. This can be lonely though, I really miss her.

She's taken to going for walks when she's down, which I think is a good idea, she normally feels a little better after. She's due to see the doctor on Friday and I'll get her to push for counceling. I'm actually considering getting some for myself. Does that sound normal? Is it a good idea?

Exercise is a great help. Boosts the seratonin levels and all that. So let her at it. Maybe accompany her sometimes. But don't force yourself on the walks. If she needs to be alone, let her be.

Another thing: don't ask her what you can do to cheer her up. Because you're only going to make her think more about why she needs cheering up. Just be natural around her. Be your usual self. Maybe do the washing up/housework etc., without prompting (C'mon, you're a bloke - we're all the same!). And don't make a big deal out of it. She might not even notice you're doing it.

As for you going for counselling? I'd say yes. If you think you might benefit from it (Personally, I reckon everyone can). It can't hurt and they might give you some good advice.

Paul Gilbert has another book about CBT and it's called "Overcoming Depression". It's a big and detailed book and is a bit hard going. But it's brilliant. It's a more detailed version of Bates' book. Paul Gilbert did the foreword for Bates' book, if memory serves. The Bates one is a great and easy introduction, so I'd definitely look around for that one. If I'm around Hodges or Waterstones later, I'll let you know if they have it in stock. I know they had copies in the AWARE shop in Phibsboro as well.

Just remember that it's not about you and you've done nothing wrong. So bear with her and be there when she needs you. And hold her hand if you do go for those walks.

It's the little things. One step at a time.

 

[sweetoblivion]

Aw Goff that's lovely advice, and practical too. Bless you!

 

[Wobbler]

Exercise is a great help. Boosts the seratonin levels and all that. So let her at it. Maybe accompany her sometimes. But don't force yourself on the walks. If she needs to be alone, let her be.

Another thing: don't ask her what you can do to cheer her up. Because you're only going to make her think more about why she needs cheering up. Just be natural around her. Be your usual self. Maybe do the washing up/housework etc., without prompting (C'mon, you're a bloke - we're all the same!). And don't make a big deal out of it. She might not even notice you're doing it.

As for you going for counselling? I'd say yes. If you think you might benefit from it (Personally, I reckon everyone can). It can't hurt and they might give you some good advice.

Paul Gilbert has another book about CBT and it's called "Overcoming Depression". It's a big and detailed book and is a bit hard going. But it's brilliant. It's a more detailed version of Bates' book. Paul Gilbert did the foreword for Bates' book, if memory serves. The Bates one is a great and easy introduction, so I'd definitely look around for that one. If I'm around Hodges or Waterstones later, I'll let you know if they have it in stock. I know they had copies in the AWARE shop in Phibsboro as well.

Just remember that it's not about you and you've done nothing wrong. So bear with her and be there when she needs you. And hold her hand if you do go for those walks.

It's the little things. One step at a time.

Very, very helpful advice. Thank you. She doesn't enjoy being around me too much so I'm not invited on her walks.

I'll take a trip up to Dawson St in the next day or two and have a look for that Bates book.

 

[Wobbler]

This is proving to be really lucrative for rep. Every cloud.... Thanks for your kind words and advice everyone. The girl herself is having a good day today and so am I.

 

[Unicron]

Edit: never mind.

 

[mr.blueface]

just saw this thread now, its probably been up a while, ive a couple questions maybe someone can answer, i recently was told to take anti-depression pills, only the things seems to make me feel shitter, and im chewing the face off myself, is this normal ? doc says it takes a while for the proper effect to work (few week or somthing) also, the person who he has advised me to go talk to is chargin 200euros an hour!! is there an alternative? as i had to spend lots of money on the drugs and doc fees, and am not eligible for a medical card, and dont spend enough to benifit from drugs payment scheme!

 

[Alan Remorse]

I'm glad this thread was stickied. Just read the entire thing.

The last few weeks have been really, really hard. Since about the age of 13, I've always had a hard time keeping my spirits up. In the last while though, it's possibly the worst it's ever been. I've gone through a few periods like this, where the general sense of discomfort/melancholia I feel will become more pronounced, to the point where I find it nearly impossible to do anything.

While reading this thread I saw that I made a post in 2004 saying that I'd been having panic attacks. I don't remember making that post, but I'm quite perturbed by the fact that these panic attacks have only gotten worse in the time since. After I made that post, I dropped out of college because I couldn't even step into a lecture without having a panic attack. The final straw came when I was sitting a test in a tutorial class, and completely flipped out. It was the last class I ever attended.

Nowadays they're more frequent and more intense. There are some days where I just wake up and know that if I have to go anywhere I'll panic. So I just don't leave my apartment.

It never used to happen to me before, but now I just start to panic for absolutely no reason while just walking on the street - whereas before it only happened in confined or uncomfortable scenarios. This started about 3 months ago and happens at least once a week. A couple of times I rang a friend when it happened, but don't do that anymore. I just try to make it home as quickly as I can and hopefully nobody will notice.

Certain events this year have definitely contributed to this. A series of seriously shit events aswell as a general lack of purpose/direction has just allowed me drift into this. Most of the time I have fairly intense feeling of sadness and general lonliness. This is despite the fact that I have some amazing friends - I can't explain it.

It isn't helped by insomnia I suppose. I haven't gotten to sleep before 6am in about 2/3 months. Most days I'm running on maybe 4 hours sleep. Because I'm so tired (I try not to just sleep late) I feel "not all here"... Like I'm just not myself. As a result of this I feel even less confident. If I do leave my apartment (which is usually only to walk to work), I'm literally crossing my fingers that I won't meet somebody I know on the way. I just can't face trying to make conversation on a street when I'm barely holding it together as it is. I've developed a stutter which I have *never* had before, and it's much worse in these situations, where I feel under pressure to speak. It's hard to explain.

I take long crazy routes to work most of the time, to try and avoid this. The whole time I have an internal monologue which goes something like "this is pathetic, how can I justify such ridiculous behaviour etc etc etc"...

My confidence is pretty much at an all-time low these days. When I'm walking on the street, I'll catch my reflection in a window and cringe. My posture, my appearance, the fact that I clearly haven't slept properly in months. It's embarrassing.

When it's 5am and I'm still lying in bed awake, nothing can really take my mind off this whole thing. Listening to music doesn't help anymore. Last night I just could not stop crying, for a good hour. There was absolutely no reason for this. But I feel like I'm starting to alienate people the longer this goes on, because I'm becoming more and more antisocial.

Obviously having epilepsy makes things a lot harder socially. For a long time I couldn't even speak to people because of it. It's also gotten worse in recent times, I've been getting seizures a lot more. Before I'd have one maybe once every 2/3 months. Now it's every 2/3 weeks. This is obviously caused by the exhaustion and anxiety.

I've started to drink a lot more, mostly when I'm on my own and I can't get to sleep. I rarely drink socially. Generally I'll only sleep before 4am if I've had a lot of red wine. This has only started since this whole bout of depression started - it hasn't caused the depression, but I know it's making it much worse. But like somebody said earlier, it's easy to acknowledge these things but not to actually do something about it.

Above all I've noticed how much the tiniest things affect my mood.

I got laid off from my job 2 weeks ago, and today is my last day. So far 5 or 6 people have come over to me to wish me well and each time I've found it harder and harder to keep it together. I don't even like my job and don't feel particularly attached to these people, but I can't handle being approached and sympathised with. This will also be the first New Year's Eve in a long time that I'm just staying in.

I'm sure this will pass, it has before. But yeah.

 

[Cryptid]

Sorry to hear this man. It sounds like a really tough time you're going through. Your music is class and you come across on thumped as a really intelligent, thoughtful and warm person. If I could offer one bit of advice: pack in the drink now. I had quite a few mental health problems in my youth, but they got a lot more manageable once I packed it in. Hope you're ok.

 

[whathappen?]

Hi Alan Remorse as a fellow panic attack sufferer my advice to you is
1. talk to your doctor , this is really important , seriously

2. when you wake up and feel yourself going into " today is going to be awful" mode - stop and start again. Try to change the thought into " right I am going to have a shower then head out for a walk to do x" I find this helps. And you get a sense of satisfaction over doing something like
heading to the English market to get nice bread That was a big thing for me anyway.I used to spend from 7.30am -10.45 pm roaming around the grounds of UCC for 2 years before I even noticed something was wrong.

For years I had to force myself out and about .Often I would pretend to be on the phone or reading a magazine or something to avoid saying hello to people. I let it go that way for way too long. I set myself a goal of saying hello to people I met on the street.That helped, then it was going out at night.
I was grand for a while but recently it has started again.

Good luck with it and don't be shy to talk to someone about it.I know it's shite but I think you'd be surprised just how many people understasnd

 

[Goff]

Alan,

Exercise and diet are very important. It's hard sometimes cos you really won't feel like it. And try and stay off the drink if possible. Although it works as an anaesthetic, it has bad dividends the following day or two. At the very least, go easy on it. A glass or two of wine before bed is better than not sleeping, if it helps. But a bottle is not a good idea. But don't egt caught up on it. If you drink, you drink. It's better not to, but you can't get rid of all your pleasures or you'll feel worse. But do think about cutting back if you can.

As Whathappen? said, talk to your GP. There are a few cheap counselling services around. Try Northside Counselling in Northside if you're fom Dublin. I think it's a voluntary donation of what you can afford.

Try not to criticise yourself. Try to focus on the good things about yourself. Like the music, etc. Instead of focusing on what you think are bad things about yourself, focus on the good stuff. If you're working on a song, try and make it better.

Medication can definitely help. Especially with some counselling. Counselling can give you better coping methods. Maybe keep a mood diary, writing down on a scale of one to ten how you feel each day and why you feel that way. Try not to write "Cos I feel shit", but try to pinpoint why you feel that way. A lot of the time with depression, it's just a chemical imbalance; your seratonin levels are low. You need to get them back up. Exercise is one of the best things for this, even just a short walk in the morning. Preferably in the morning cos it can set you up for the day. But diet can be hugely important too. Try and eat more carbohydrates. They really do help. The potato is king (although you will need more exercise to avoid putting on weight!).

You should talk to your friends about it too. You'd be surprised how many people have gone through something like this. It's not just you. So there's a lot of support out there, even if it's just something as simple as a friend saying, "if you ever need to talk, or feel bad, ring me." Just knowing that people are there is a great boost. You don't have to go into details, but just let them know you're going through a bad patch.

Just remember you will get through it cos you've done it before.

And New year's Eve can be a bit tough for some people especially with its forced jolity. But it's good to stay in sometimes too.

Hope the coming year works out for you and you get a job sorted sooner rather than later. But use the time off well. Work on your music while you can!

Keep the faith.