Crank calls (1 Viewer)

[jane]

actually jane, isn't there the facility where you can press 5 or some number to callback the number of the person who sent the message? you can ring them and FUCK them ourrovih...

did you do anything fun in cork?

There is, but they were blocking their number for most of them, until the last one I got in the middle of the night, in which it was revealed that they were just playing with random numbers and stuck with mine because I was American and it's fun to fuck with us. Apparently.

I just wish they were funny. Kids should be funny. I can't change the outgoing message to anything comical or creepy because I use it for work. Bummer, like.

In Cork, I made a lot of phone calls and spent an afternoon with this old dude who was a really hardcore red. Interesting guy. Doing research for a TV doc. It's mad fun.

And muffin, my late arrival in the world of Sponge Bob is because I really have TV until about a week ago. It's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

i made so many bad and unfunny crack calls when i was a teenager im still amazed i never caught out on them and that the parents never queried the phone bills - or maybe they did and didnt want to deal with it. the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me (im taking this secret to the grave...) was when one of the calls backfired very seriously - its was very . thank fuck im not 15 anymore!

one time i rang a number at random and an old lady answered and i played "the ocean doesnt want me today" by tom waits down the phone and she sounded totally freaked out and terrified so i stopped then

 

[Diddles]

A bloke I used to work with told me him and his mates used to ring up random people and threaten to kill them

My brother and his mates were unreal. One of the lads was up at the roller disco one night and the others rang the manager and told him yer man's Da was after dying and could he get him to come home. his parents were not amused.

One of them rang my Ma one day and told her my brother was after having a terrible accident in the glass factory he worked in and was after losing his arm.

Then he did actually have an accident a few weeks later (not serious, just some stictches) and me Ma thought it was a joke and didn't go up to casualty. My brother's boss must have thought she was an awful bitch.

'Accident? Oh dear, what a pity, never mind.'

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

my brother had a good one where he'd ring up people and pretend to be with the esb and tell people there was some sort of problem and would they mind checking a meter in the attic. people were usually obliging and would be up and down to the attic trying to find this non-existant meter

 

[wild_cat]

Every weekend from 14 to 16, we'd prank call some one.

Some of them were so shit like we'd go to a shittie little gig in wexford and collect fellas phone numbers and then we'd prank them when we got home.

One I thought was the funniest thing id ever heard was "uh, i want to ride you like a horse, neeeahhh", we got around 10 people with this one. Now it makes me cringe.

My brother and I prank my mother the whole time, we pretended to be her brothers and sisters because they all have funny accents and she'd be there talking away back to us, thinking its her siblings.



It was shit having me around for prank calls, because the amount of times some one else would prank call and id get a text five minutes later going "DId yee prank call me, because I could hear you laughing in the backround". So stupid though, who carrys out market research on playboy and masturbation at 5am anyway.

Its quare frustrating though when coomplete arse holes have their phones turned off.

Funniest one ever though was when we called a lad with the biggest wexford accent around, we got a girl that he wouldnt have known to pretend to be eastern european. He spent the whole conversation going "burst on hun, burst on hun", if any of yee know the wexford accent its fucking halerious.

 

[mackle]

My favourite ones lately are when my friend phoned this guy from school who had been a dick to hims house. His mum picked up and he pretended to be some 16 year old girls father and convinced the mum that her son had got the girl pregnant. Got to the point of arranging a meeting and her sobbing a bit (dont worry shes an asshole as well) before we couldnt hold the laughter in anymore and she heard it all in the background and realised.

Another good one (wasn't there for this though) was when my friend called up this girl we know pretending to be this guy who fancies her and she totally bought it. So he started asking her did she wanna come around to his house and "get freaky" and she gets totally weirded out by this and it keeps going on and she uses the excuse that she's with her mum and so my mate invited her as well. God knows how it ended up! So cruel
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[wild_cat]

My favourite ones lately are when my friend phoned this guy from school who had been a dick to hims house. His mum picked up and he pretended to be some 16 year old girls father and convinced the mum that her son had got the girl pregnant. Got to the point of arranging a meeting and her sobbing a bit (dont worry shes an asshole as well) before we couldnt hold the laughter in anymore and she heard it all in the background and realised.​

Fucking amazing. I wouldnt have the gaul to through with something as amazing as that.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

we (me plus two mates) embarked on a series of prank calls during the summer of 1987.
One day, Dave went for a piss. As he was walking down the stairs we dialled his home number and handed the phone to him urging him to shout abuse down to the recipient. His mother recognised his voice.

 

[Diddles]

Another bloke I used to work with got one of the girl's numbers and rang her at home on her day off. He pretended he was from FM104 and said she could win a grand if she sang him a ballad. She sang that 'sonny, don't go away' song over the speakerphone. The lads in the depot were all pissing themselves laughing.

This was the same girl who robbed a jug out of bewleys and when the Gards got on her bus home to arrest some thugs upstairs, she presumed they were after her and stood up to confess.

 

[Goff]

Prank/Crank calls aren't/weren't/won't ever be funny.

They should all be renamed wank calls.

And perpertrators should all go home and have a good one. At how clever they are.

At least someone loves them.

 

[Space]

Mate once rang another mate with the same name, but somehow rang home asking for himself.

 

[Hector Grey]

Prank/Crank calls aren't/weren't/won't ever be funny.

They should all be renamed wank calls.

And perpertrators should all go home and have a good one. At how clever they are.

At least someone loves them.

yeah, i love when you hear some zany cunt on the radio making a wacky call to some poor sap in a call centre and taking the piss and knowing that there's nothing the sap can do. what are you gonna do, get the sack for telling them to cock off?

 

[frona]

I suppose I'd better tell the the Neverending Referendum story.

During the Nice referendum (round 2) there was this madser giving out anti-Nice CDs that him and his crapy trad band (comprised mostly of his kids) made. I was really pissed off at the referendum going on again so I took a CD off in even though he was obviously a lunatic. So of course it became one of the staples of drunken parties. One night we were listening to it and we actually properly listed to the lyrics and there were some racist ones along the lines of "soon the floodgates will open and they'll rob your jobs and your women". So we rang him. It was about half 3 in the morning and Bohs Punk was talking to this guy for ages, pretending to be pissed off with immigration because the Polish have different rules for pool! He eventually got yer man to roar "up the people!" down the phone. And yer man was all delighted the "the young people" were getting interested in his anti-Nice campaign. Two years after the referendum like. Eventually he heard us all laughing in the background.

I'm not usually into prank calls because I've worked in shitty call centres but that was funny. And it's ok cos he's a crappy-trad-playing racist.

 

[Johnnyc]

oh this other time i answered the phone and it was (what sounded like) a real old woman. she just repeated "help me. he won't let me leave the house. please help me. please..." a few times. I couldn't tell if she was for real or not, maybe it was a wrong number or she'd just mashed the buttons until it rang someone, but it freaked me out a little. i just kept telling her to hang up and call the police, but i don't think she was listening to me (or was just trying to freak me out even more). Eventually she did hang up.

In hindsight I'm like 60/40 convinced it was a crank call... but i dunno.

That kind of shit reminds me of when I used to work in directory enquiries. We took calls from the UK and were usually very busy, so you'd typically get at least a couple of "unusual" calls during your shift. You'd get the odd prank call which you could spot a mile off, but I did get quite a few disturbing ones.

One time a woman rang me, with a lot of shouting and banging in the background. She sounded freaked and basically told me that she was a victim of domestic abuse for the last couple of years and that the cops weren't doing anything to help her. The noise in the background was her husband and he was trying to kick the door in and get to her. Nice.

Other merry calls included the likes of hysterical folks phoning in from the scene of a bad car crash. Plenty of lonely old people just looking for someone to talk to. People with a mental illness, who would tell you their life story and then pretty much get all confused and start to cry...

 

[Stan Bowles]

Ahh conduit, how glad I was to only work there for three weeks...

 

[Johnnyc]

I didn't know you were in Conduit, Stan. When were you there?

 

[Stan Bowles]

I didn't know you were in Conduit, Stan. When were you there?

May 2003 I think?

Halfway through the three week training period I managed to get an IT contract job. Which I am eternally thankful for cos I couldn't have put up with that job for too long, soul destroying shit.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

May 2003 I think?

Halfway through the three week training period I managed to get an IT contract job. Which I am eternally thankful for cos I couldn't have put up with that job for too long, soul destroying shit.

loser

 

[Stan Bowles]

loser

That hurts man, us English have feelings too you know.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

sorry homecheese! i meant to type winner - fuckin US keyboard!