Celebrity Biography Exchange (Trash only) (1 Viewer)

[jane]

I've just finished Jordan's latest 'autobiography', and while I don't feel it made me any smarter, it did teach me the word 'dickalicious'.

I spent my hard-earned Hodges Figgis loyalty cards on it, and now I would like to read some more celebrity rubbish. I was wondering if anyone would like to swap with me for something equally fascinating?

Highlights of the book include: sex with Peter Andre, swings at Dane Bowers and Dwight Yorke, the revelation that Venice 'has canals instead of roads'.

In all honesty, though, she actually gives some really candid detail about the experience of pregnancy and post-partum depression, which a lot of readers would probably have found really helpful. She's kind of naive, and kind of damaged, but I dunno, I find it really hard to dislike Jordan.

Not the point of this thread, though. The point of this thread is to get my mitts on some more celebrity comedy gold.

Also willing to swap Simon Cowell's I Don't Mean To Be Rude, But... (which I think I still have upstairs).

Takers? Whatchya got?

 

[The Schnapper]

Hows about you read 'Getting a life for Dummies' ?

 

[krystal]

I don't have this but it's well worth a read - Barbara Windsor's autobiog. She's had 5 abortions by page 40. "oh dear, I was up the duff again from some london gangster type. Off I went to Vera Drake to have it sorted out"

 

[jane]

Hows about you read 'Getting a life for Dummies' ?

Is it available in a waterproof edition?

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

Wheels has the jade goody biography.

 

[ICUH8N]

I have one of the Bob Dylan chronicle ones, but realistically, I would only be willing to swap it for something incredibly salacious...How To Make Love Love Like A Pornstar, that seminal (arf!) work by Jenna Jameson, for instance.

 

[jane]

Wheels has the jade goody biography.

BRING ME WHEELS.

 

[The Schnapper]

Is it available in a waterproof edition?

Also edible for easy ingestion of sense

 

[jane]

Also edible for easy ingestion of sense

Well, colour me appropriately upbraided.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

BRING ME WHEELS.

Its hilarious. I opened it and the first line of chapter 4 went something like "i was made up when i spotted my first pubes at 13 and..."

 

[jane]

Its hilarious. I opened it and the first line of chapter 4 went something like "i was made up when i spotted my first pubes at 13 and..."

Classy broad. This, I gotta read.

I feel kinda bad for her because, like, she actually is a bit screwed up, but hey, if she wants to 'write' an 'autobiography', I can still have empathy for her hard life and laugh me hole off at the fact that she's getting so much celebrity mileage out of being so dim.

Wheels! I will send you Jordan's tome for Jade's. If anyone has Jodie Marsh's or any by a Spice Girl, however, it will be a tough decision.

 

[jane]

I don't have this but it's well worth a read - Barbara Windsor's autobiog. She's had 5 abortions by page 40. "oh dear, I was up the duff again from some london gangster type. Off I went to Vera Drake to have it sorted out"

Brilliant. First I read '5 abortions by age 40', but page 40 -- even better. Fucking excellent. Someone on here must have it.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

Its hilarious. I opened it and the first line of chapter 4 went something like "i was made up when i spotted my first pubes at 13 and..."

[FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][SIZE=-1]1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

FANTASTIC, May 11, 2006
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][SIZE=-1][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][SIZE=-1]Reviewer: Mrs. L. Turford - See all my reviews

[/SIZE][/FONT]Bought this book on the release date. I though the Jordan book was good but this is a million times better. Its an easy read, just the type of book to chill out with on the beach. What can I say.... well done Jade! I just couldn't put it down. Also, my husband has started to read it and hes a Dan Brown fan!!!

 

[krystal]

amazing. he'd know good bukes alright.

hes a Dan Brown fan!!!

 

[roxy]

I have Volume Three of Henry Kissinger's memoirs in my room. It weighs about 5 and three-quarter stone and it was going for about £1.50 on the bargain table when I worked in a bookshop.

Will swap for: "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed", by Alan Alda.

Will not swap for: "Freak Unique - My Story" by Pete Burns.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

amazing. he'd know good bukes alright.

Tellin ya.

Just like this cockhead.

 

[ICUH8N]

the edgy kerning on the cover design makes it even better. Very "in the now"

loves it.

 

[jane]

[FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][SIZE=-1]1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

FANTASTIC, May 11, 2006
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][SIZE=-1]Reviewer: Mrs. L. Turford - See all my reviews

[/SIZE][/FONT]Bought this book on the release date. I though the Jordan book was good but this is a million times better. Its an easy read, just the type of book to chill out with on the beach. What can I say.... well done Jade! I just couldn't put it down. Also, my husband has started to read it and hes a Dan Brown fan!!!

OMG, BETTER than Jordan's? Holy shit. Also, I am all in favour of any book that causes anyone to not be reading a Dan Brown book.

I like how she makes it clear that there are not hard words in it.

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Has anyone got this? Passed by it last week and nearly fell over, it's crapness apparently exerting an actual physical force.

 

[krystal]

he didn't read it - his own 'auto'biography. He admitted this on Podge & Rodge.

I mean if this nofuckingmark can have a life story I really think my cat can have one.

The story of my cat:

Was taken in as the runt of a litter, became very ill as kitten and developed pleurisy plus many other problems. All fur fell out. Fur grew back. Got balls lopped off. Got big and fat. Developed ear problems. Became intimately acquainted with the vet. Got a new brother who was not liked very much. Jumped out of upstairs window once. Disappeared once for 2 days. Got more ear problems and then had to have operation to remove tumour from ear. Is now fine but walks sort of lopsided and is back to lying about the house like a fat hairy heathrug. Eats a lot.

I mean that could be spun out to form a book which I have no doubts would be about 1 billion percent more interesting than Fran Fucking Cosgraves.

Tellin ya.

Just like this cockhead.