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Art Investment is a scam for rich people to launder money. Cunts
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Cancelled (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter therealjohnny
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Art Investment is a scam for rich people to launder money. Cunts
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I mean, maybe?
They specifically say it was taken from a show, and that she's an art historian and she's also a curator of the actual exhibition in question.
There's a relevancy to including her opinion, you could argue.
I'd guess as a curator, she'd have preferred to give a quote rather than have one pulled from a show.
here, actual question here.
Depressingly familiar story, but ANOTHER friend of mine was temporarily involved with a fella in the past who beats women, a lot. To the extent he was arrested and jailed. He came close to battering her, but didn't actually strike her, only grabbed her and reefed her out of it. (This was in the US.)
She's just told me she's going back to him, just for the sex. And he's changed.
I told her she can have sex with almost anyone she liked, and she's lying to herself if she thinks "only sex" true. I had a bit of back and forth with her about it, she said I needed to respect her choices and so on. I've known her for years.
Eventually I told her he will beat her, and I didn't think I wanted to remain in contact with her because I didn't want to have to wait to learn this. I basically cancelled her out of my life.
Is this a shit thing to do? I'm getting pretty tired of people who batter people, but I'm arguing she's enabling him and that's her problem, and I have the right to step away from a friendship if I think they are harming themselves in this way. Honestly don't know what to do here.
I don't feel great about it. I'm not particularly bright when it comes to interpersonal stuff.
Depressingly familiar story, but ANOTHER friend of mine was temporarily involved with a fella in the past who beats women, a lot. To the extent he was arrested and jailed. He came close to battering her, but didn't actually strike her, only grabbed her and reefed her out of it. (This was in the US.)
She's just told me she's going back to him, just for the sex. And he's changed.
I told her she can have sex with almost anyone she liked, and she's lying to herself if she thinks "only sex" true. I had a bit of back and forth with her about it, she said I needed to respect her choices and so on. I've known her for years.
Eventually I told her he will beat her, and I didn't think I wanted to remain in contact with her because I didn't want to have to wait to learn this. I basically cancelled her out of my life.
Is this a shit thing to do? I'm getting pretty tired of people who batter people, but I'm arguing she's enabling him and that's her problem, and I have the right to step away from a friendship if I think they are harming themselves in this way. Honestly don't know what to do here.
I don't feel great about it. I'm not particularly bright when it comes to interpersonal stuff.
Ah! It wasn't obvious to me that she was a curator. Mixed up again, never mind me
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Dude, I didn't get it til my second reading and I used google it to check
It is very odd (I think) for someone who hates an artist to curate their work - but I guess the art world is like that
Always with the reinterpreting and recontextualising and so on.
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She wants sex, but it sounds like she wants it specifically with this guy. Not gonna try and understand that, there are myriad reasons women have sex, for men it’s mainly one.
Personally, I wouldn’t be too gone on judging people’s choices. This is what she wants, let her go for it. It’s not like she doesn’t know his record.
I think express your concerns and let her live her life, and maybe agree just to not discuss her personal relationship.
“I want better things for you, but you are old enough to make your own choices.”
If things go badly south, she’s gonna need a friend to talk to.
If the friendship is real and strong, she should feel like she can reach out to you and not have to deal with I-told-you-so’s.
No one is perfect in interpersonal relationships, we’re all just trying to do the right thing.
Good luck.
I'm all for her getting the ride.
I'm just not interested in hearing about how he battered her next month. That's the issue. I don't want to deal with that.
That's assuming she tells me, after me telling her it will happen. I feel like I can't even trust that any more, so I'm meant to just pussy foot around it pretending everything's grand.
I've no interest in I told you so's, I was her friend, but if you're enabling men who beat women that's on you and I want off the ride. I don't want her reaching out afterwards. That's the point. I'm not interested in dealing with the clean up later.
This is irrational / shit behaviour on my half yeah?
It's her call. I've just run out of spare fucks to give. There are no fucks left. I am not going to have any spare fucks next month either, so I'm preemptively hoarding fucks.
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Fair enough, man. Good luck with it.
A fair enough from me here too. You gotta look after yourself first. Also a good luck from me
TL,DR: Yeah, I can understand you hoarding your fucks, and you need to look after yourself first.
I remember staying up late at night on Zoom with the ex and two others, and then I deleted the rest of this post.
interesting.
OK. I thought cancelling people in real life wasn't acceptable.
She got back to me, as I hadn't actually blocked her number, saying she's not going to see the guy any more. And I told her I didn't believe that either. Massive shitstorm there.
I reckon she's probably cancelled me at this point too. lol.
So it goes.
I have noticed that the moment people start up with the "I love you" bollocks is roughly about the time you should start flinging up bullshit detectors with great and furious vengeance.
OK. I thought cancelling people in real life wasn't acceptable.
She got back to me, as I hadn't actually blocked her number, saying she's not going to see the guy any more. And I told her I didn't believe that either. Massive shitstorm there.
I reckon she's probably cancelled me at this point too. lol.
So it goes.
I have noticed that the moment people start up with the "I love you" bollocks is roughly about the time you should start flinging up bullshit detectors with great and furious vengeance.
I guess if you hoard your fucks, you won't have anyone to talk to when things are shit for you when you just want to get stuff off your own chest. But on the other hand, maybe they're the wrong people to have a pity-party with. And, these things are dynamic, but generally, having more than a couple of pity parties becomes unhealthy for all involved.
But fuck do I know. There's always Thumped.
But fuck do I know. There's always Thumped.
JOHNNY AND THE SELF ABUSERS - Pablo Picasso
(''All The Girls Think You're Asshole, All The Girls Think That He's A Fucking Asshole'')
1977 pre Simple Minds punk riposte to Jonathan Richman's song
(''All The Girls Think You're Asshole, All The Girls Think That He's A Fucking Asshole'')
1977 pre Simple Minds punk riposte to Jonathan Richman's song
I wouldn't go as far as to say she's enabling him. If not her, he'll just beat the shit out of someone else. Once a cunt, always a cunt.
If it was me I'd be voicing my opinions strongly too, but depending on how good of a friend, I wouldn't cut anyone out over this. But she's an adult and has to own, not just how her decisions will affect her, but also how they'll affect others, so if your choice is to cut her off, you're well within your rights to do so (and it doesn't make you a prick for doing so).
Good luck man. You are a decent skin.
sleepy
Well-Known Member
Have to say, having dealt with a fairly similar situation with one of the neighbours recently, it’s a resounding fair enough from me too. At some point, you have to say your own mental health’s more important and you’re not a bollocks for doing so.
I don't think relationships should be transactional. We should try our best to help our friends when they need it.
However, sometimes you've only got so much to give, and you're not actually helping them, but they suck the life out of you.
You've got to look after yourself.
However, sometimes you've only got so much to give, and you're not actually helping them, but they suck the life out of you.
You've got to look after yourself.
+1
A friendship is a little conspiracy between people to make their worlds better ... but if one of those involved is actively working to make their own world worse then it kinda takes the good out of the whole thing
BTW on the broader subject of "Cancelled" I think this article contains some interesting thoughts on the evolution of slurs/taboo words Give Up Seventy Percent Of The Way Through The Hyperstitious Slur Cascade
IIRC steven pinker wrote about that process in one of his books; with broadly similar conclusions, a 'this is the way language and meaning evolves' message.
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