Bored in Work 12(3)4 (3 Viewers)

[photon]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

I went to mass once last year because me da put on this really sad face and was like, "Don't you wanna see me up there on the big stage?"

My mom is a bit sick of going every week, and as much as we adore the guy and think what he does is great, Mass is, well, kinda boring. So we went really late, showed up just in time for communion and pretended like we'd been there the whole time.

Before that, I think it was my brother's wedding in January 2002.

The first (and only) mass I've ever been to was earlier this year, when a colleague of mine died and I went to his funeral. At the risk of coming across as a complete bigot, it was one of the creepiest and most disconcerting things I've ever seen in my life: a totally robotic call-and-response drill where the priest mumbled something and the audience said something equally cryptic, with both sides standing/sitting/whatever in complete unison all the while.

No offence intended--I mean this only as an observation--but it was exactly as I'd imagine some cult ritual would look like. Everyone there, including loads of people I knew personally, were acting as if they total automatons. Eerie, and very unsettling, but the elaborateness of the entire ritual was impressive as well, in its own way.

Just for the record, I had no religious upbringing at all (and I consider myself a pretty diehard atheist), so my knowledge about Catholicism or any other Christian sect is pretty much nil.

Paul

 

[LMD64]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

i used to "adjust" myself before that bit...

yeah, but you should adjust from the inside of your pants. and round the back as well. and sniff your hand before you shake the other person's, and after as well.

 

[guy of the tiger]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

I rememmemeber going to confession when I was younger too, we'd get a half day from school and we'd all have to troop down the road, in pairs, holding hands, and one finger to our lips.

It was kinda stressful because it would be a pain in the ass trying to remeber the whole 'bell me father for I have sinned' majoly and trying to invent some plausible sins.

I usualy went with 'I had a fight with my brother' and 'I used a bad word'

In retrospect I could have been honest and said I stole 50 pence pieces from my moms purce to but mint feasts in londis all the time. But that was to close to the bone for me.

 

[jane]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

The first (and only) mass I've ever been to was earlier this year, when a colleague of mine died and I went to his funeral. At the risk of coming across as a complete bigot, it was one of the creepiest and most disconcerting things I've ever seen in my life: a totally robotic call-and-response drill where the priest mumbled something and the audience said something equally cryptic, with both sides standing/sitting/whatever in complete unison all the while.

No offence intended--I mean this only as an observation--but it was exactly as I'd imagine some cult ritual would look like. Everyone there, including loads of people I knew personally, were acting as if they total automatons. Eerie, and very unsettling, but the elaborateness of the entire ritual was impressive as well, in its own way.

I remember coming to this realisation when I was about 14. We were forced to go to mass as kids, but I just saw it as this boring nuisance until then. All of a sudden, it made me feel really sick to watch it.

I was much older before I was impressed by its eerie anachronistic charms. Still think it's boring, though.

 

[LMD64]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

Just for the record, I had no religious upbringing at all (and I consider myself a pretty diehard atheist), so my knowledge about Catholicism or any other Christian sect is pretty much nil.

Paul

well, i had a catholic upbringing, and the few times i've gone to mass in the last couple of years i've had pretty much the same reaction. as in total alienation from all the toneless mumbling going on around me, and the empty phrases being droned out from the altar.

strangely reminiscent of the underground mutant cult in "Return to the Planet of the Apes"

 

[Wavioli]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

Weeeee-oooooh! Weeeee-oooooooooooh! Sorry, I can't hear you over the din of my fingers!

WEeeeeee-ooooooh!

ugh, donkey fingers. I hate that. Im always getting it after a long nights finger-puppetry.

 

[Zeelander]

This is the gretaest day! Has anyone ever heard of the company The Book People? I don't really know what their deal is, but some dude just came into my office and gave me a stack of hardback books and he's coming back in a week and if I want them I can buy them off him at discounted prices. If not I can just give them back. I have a week to read The Guinness Book of Records, Bill Clinton's autobiography, Ricky Gervais' Flanimals and a ton of other crap, then return them feigning disinterest and hopefully without having gotten any snot on them. Cool!

 

[Wavioli]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

The first (and only) mass I've ever been to was earlier this year, when a colleague of mine died and I went to his funeral. At the risk of coming across as a complete bigot, it was one of the creepiest and most disconcerting things I've ever seen in my life: a totally robotic call-and-response drill where the priest mumbled something and the audience said something equally cryptic, with both sides standing/sitting/whatever in complete unison all the while.

No offence intended--I mean this only as an observation--but it was exactly as I'd imagine some cult ritual would look like. Everyone there, including loads of people I knew personally, were acting as if they total automatons. Eerie, and very unsettling, but the elaborateness of the entire ritual was impressive as well, in its own way.

Just for the record, I had no religious upbringing at all (and I consider myself a pretty diehard atheist), so my knowledge about Catholicism or any other Christian sect is pretty much nil.

Paul

Yeh that really freaked me out the first time I went too. The way the whole thing's scripted? creepy.

 

[billygannon]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

My Dad's funeral made me realise why Mass is important.

To be honest, I don't go as often as I'd like.

 

[guy of the tiger]

ooh ooh! the guinnes book of records!

whats the fastest road car in the world Zita?

and is the tallest guy ever STILL Robert Waldow? or has someone beaten him?

This is the gretaest day! Has anyone ever heard of the company The Book People? I don't really know what their deal is, but some dude just came into my office and gave me a stack of hardback books and he's coming back in a week and if I want them I can buy them off him at discounted prices. If not I can just give them back. I have a week to read The Guinness Book of Records, Bill Clinton's autobiography, Ricky Gervais' Flanimals and a ton of other crap, then return them feigning disinterest and hopefully without having gotten any snot on them. Cool!

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Re: Mad Relations

Good god is there no end to this man's genius!?!?!?!?!?!?!?.|..| .|..| .|..|


Eh, what the feck? how'd tis end up in the wrong thread? bugger

 

[nEiLo]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

anyone ever go to mass stoned?
i did one christmas... it was nice... the sounds of the priest's monotone through tinny speakers, the out of tune choir singing christmas songs, the smells... very relaxing however i got the munches on the way up to recieve communion... let's just say there wasn't enough wafers to go round...

 

[Wavioli]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

My Dad's funeral made me realise why Mass is important.

To be honest, I don't go as often as I'd like.

care to share? Cos as far as I can see its a place for oul wans to show off their ridiculous new hats.

 

[Zeelander]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

The handshake bit was my most hated part of mass for these reasons:
a). Old people always make a dash to shake hands with the young kids, bashing each other out of the way and stuff. Clearly trying to suck the youth out of children through their chubby little cherubic hands.
b). If you shook hands with a boy you fancied all your mates would say that you shook hands with him cos you fancied him. And that you were touching his coat in the queue for communion. Reddener.
c). If you shook hands with someone that had clammy hands, the next person whose hand you'd shake would give you this "Ew, you've got clammy hands" look, even though you were just transferring someone else's.
Fucking too much stress man.

 

[billygannon]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

care to share? Cos as far as I can see its a place for oul wans to show off their ridiculous new hats.

Well, that's not really much different to a lot of gigs, where young wans are only their to show off their eclecticism. And, let's face it, a lot of gigs are about as interesting as Mass.

Unbeknownst to a lot of people who know me, I'm actually quite a religious person. It's something I keep to myself, but it helps me a lot.

 

[Wavioli]

Re: Weapons of Mass Destruction

Moral Issues...

No wonder he didnt win...

 

[veryslowey]

im so bored

 

[shidheat]

Yassat Arafat dead apparently and Bush re-elected, all within 2 days. Dark old week this.

 

[P. Littbarski]

it's been an eventful week...but ho will win the idiot of the week award ?

Bush...no
Kerry....no
Chen Chung-ho...most definitely

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1163530.html

 

[Wavioli]

im so bored

cork's still missing huh? What about barry?