Bored In Work 118 (2 Viewers)

[It Will Never Last]

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went
along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance

My favourite.

.|..|

 

[Zeelander]

Were you not sitting down? So how did you trip over?

Must have been slapstick-tastic.

No, I was walking, hence drawing attention to myself, leaving me open to any manner of witticism being delivered my direction by man with microphone. Trip.

 

[cassette/tape]

i got called 'the most obvious lesbian' and 'butch' at a comedy gig in scotchland there a few years back.
i decided it was time to grow my hair.

 

[It Will Never Last]

No, I was walking, hence drawing attention to myself, leaving me open to any manner of witticism being delivered my direction by man with microphone. Trip.

No sympathy. You cower at comedy gigs, making sure not to laugh too loud (or on your own), drawing as little attention to yourself as possible.

In fact, I don't know how anyone enjoys comedy shows.

 

[ms.b.haven]

a lesbo treid chatting me up recently when i was out. bet it was you

i got called 'the most obvious lesbian' and 'butch' at a comedy gig in scotchland there a few years back.
i decided it was time to grow my hair.

 

[#10-7]

lesbians.

 

[cassette/tape]

a lesbo treid chatting me up recently when i was out. bet it was you

i'n not a 'lesbo'

hot: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001125/
not: supposed to be on this thread.

 

[Squack]

are you sure, lesibans don't do anything for you?

 

[ms.b.haven]

lesbians do things for me, as long as there the lesbians you might see in those 'does dallas' porns etc

 

[nEiLo]

i'm eating a kit kat at the mo' and printed on the wrapper is:
"REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT A SALMON"

what the fuck is that about?
Is it meant to be funny? or deep - a reference to not having to swim against the current?

still, it is very tasty with a cup of tea. yum yum.

 

[ms.b.haven]

maybe it knew we were talking about lesbians and their sexual habits/odours?

 

[Squack]

i'm eating a kit kat at the mo' and printed on the wrapper is:
"REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT A SALMON"

what the fuck is that about?
Is it meant to be funny? or deep - a reference to not having to swim against the current?

still, it is very tasty with a cup of tea. yum yum.

yeah saw that in work the other day, its bloody nonsense,
unless you're a woman who smells of fish!!!

 

[nEiLo]

maybe it knew we were talking about lesbians and their sexual habits/odours?

a sentient wrapper?

well, it's more plausible than a sentient rapper ... honk honk

 

[spiritualtramp]

i'm eating a kit kat at the mo' and printed on the wrapper is:
"REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT A SALMON"

what the fuck is that about?
Is it meant to be funny? or deep - a reference to not having to swim against the current?

still, it is very tasty with a cup of tea. yum yum.

nestle products - tut tut!


I think it must be some ironic marketing shite that they come up with. like that crap campaign they had for yorkies "its not for girls".

 

[ms.b.haven]

/groan/

Aw neilo, poor. Maybe it’s a lesbian sentient wrapper?

 

[nEiLo]

nestle products - tut tut!

i have no social conscience when it comes to confectionery

 

[spiritualtramp]

a quick google reveals there was a tv ad for kitkats starring some cockney geeezeer that was in them guy ritchie "gangsta" movies. he talks about salmon and the punchline appears to be remember you are not a salmon.

so thats why.

 

[jane]

i have no social conscience when it comes to confectionery

I bought a top at the Gap yesterday, and found a seven-year-old sweatshop worker sewn into one of the seams.

It's a dead cute top, though.

 

[nEiLo]

/groan/

Aw neilo, poor. Maybe it’s a lesbian sentient wrapper?

a lou reed song just popped into my head : original wrapper

where Lou raps (not too unlike the way he sings)

was sittin' home on the West End
watchin' cable TV with a female friend
we were watchin' the news, the world's in a mess
the poor and the hungry, a world in distress
Herpes, AIDS, the Middle East at full throttle
better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
and while you're at it, check what's in the batter
make sure that candy's in the Original Wrapper

Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
make sure that candy's in the Original Wrapper

Reagan says abortion's murder
while he's looking at Cardinal O'Connor
look at Jerry Falwell Louis Farrakhan
both talk religion and the brotherhood of man
They both sound like they belong in Teheran
watch out, they're goin' full throttle
better check that sausage, before you stick it in the waffle
and while you're at it better check, what's in the batter
make sure that candy's in the Original Wrapper

Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
make sure that candy's in the Original Wrapper

White against white, Black against Jew
it seems like it's 1942
the baby sits in front of MTV
watching violent fantasies
While Dad guzzles beer with his favorite sport
only to find his heroes are all coked up
classic, original, the same old story
the politics of hate in a new surrounding
Hate if it's good and hate if it's bad
and if this all don't make you mad
I'll keep yours and I'll keep mine
nothing sacred and nothing divine
Father, bless me, we're at full throttle
better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
and while you're at it better check that batter
make sure the candy's in the Original Wrapper

Hey, pitcher, better check that batter
make sure that candy's in the Original Wrapper, hey, hey

I was born in the United States
and I grew up hard but I grew up straight
I saw a lack of morals and a lack of concern
a feeling that there's nowhere to turn
Yippies, Hippies and upwardly mobile Yuppies
don't treat me like I'm some dumb lackey
'cause the murderer lives while the victims die
I'd much rather see it an eye for an eye
A heart for a heart, a brain for a brain
and if this all makes you feel a little insane
kick up your heels, turn the music up loud
pick up your guitar and look out at the crowd, and say, -
- "Don't mean to come on sanctimonious
but life's got me nervous and little pugnacious
Lugubrious so I give a salutation
and rock on out to beat really stupid
Ohh, poop, ah, doo and how do you do
hip hop gonna bop till I drop."
watch out world, comin' at you full throttle
better check that sausage, before you put it in the waffle
and while you're at it better check that batter
make sure the candy's in the Original Wrapper

Hey, hey, pitcher, better check that batter
make sure the candy's in the Original Wrapper
hey, pitcher, better check that batter
make sure the candy's in the Original Wrapper, hey, hey, hey

 

[spiritualtramp]

i have no social conscience when it comes to confectionery

yeah well I can't really judge you for it. I cracked and ate an Aero a while ago.

it was yummy. mmmm.....forbidden chocolate.