Art (1 Viewer)

[cracker jack]

A while back I was sitting down with my better half and a couple of mates having a few drinks when there was a knock at the door so I got up to answer.(I was pretty fucked up)
It turned out to be a guy trying to sell paintings that his wife had done and I really wasn't in the mood to talk and was trying to be too polite to tell him just to fuck off.
The convesation went a bit like this.
painting seller (ps) hi i'm selling some art that my wife did, would you like me to show you?
me- no
ps- oh c'mon you like art i can tell you want this
me- nah man i don't
ps-can i show you some?
me- no
ps- why not
me- cos i don't like art
ps- what do you mean you dont like art?
me-i don't like it
ps you dont like paintings
me -no
ps-pictures of any sort?
me-nah mate photos are the worst because they were there for the taking anyway
ps-music
me- gez don't get me started music is the worst form of art about (had Sore Throats-Disgrace To The Corpse Of Sid blasting over the stereo at the time)
ps-yeah from what i can hear you really dont like art do you?
me-you got it bud have a good day, later.

I shut the door went and sat down to everybody else pissing themselves laughing my mrs looked out the window and he was standing there on the footpath flipped her the finger and yelled out "fuck you lot" and left.
His wives pictures really were shit

 

[tebbles]

Haaa, NEVER buy art from someone going door to door, 99% of the time its someone who got a load of paintings from a factory that were made on an assembly line. I've a gallery in Galway and the amount of people that come in with these paintings askin me what I think, after paying €300 from this lovely artist that called around to the door. Youve been had missus, stick it up in your bathroom.

 

[damone]

i was workin in a house in newtownpark ave ,blackrock years back and this fuckin chancer knocked on the door and asked the women of the house did she want a song written for her for a tenner ,he was wearing a tarten suit with a waistcoat and had his acoustic with him and was givin her all the "sure im a simple wandering minstrel" cross my palm with silver vibe ! when we were done and leavin the house two hours later he was sittin across the table from her in her fancy kitchen ,a half bottle of red wine in him ,quids in and lookin at a VERY good afternoon !!! i thought he was a complete cunt but also had a grudging respect for the fella !!!

 

[Anthem]

A couple of weeks ago I was having a snooze when I was awoken by a knock on the door. This Oul' fella with shabby clothes waves a bundle of scratch cards in my face and asks me to buy one for 3 Eur. Caught unawares , I reached into my pocket and gave him 5Eur note for the card. it was midweek and my pocket wasn't in the best of health so couldn't really afford it. What really annoyed me though was he had the brazen cheek to ask me to buy another one, and he was taking his time giving me back my change. The fucking bastard, I should have slammed the door in his face now when I think about it. Sorry - getting angry here, The fucker , I should have asked him for ID, I bet it was down to the nears offy for a flagon of cider. Yeah thats where my money went.