Amusing rhymes in songs (2 Viewers)

[Denny Oubidoux]

terrible ones are ok too. ok i'll go first,

I was talking to a man from azerbijan about nothing in particular
wondering what makes me me and him him and us individular
from In A Groovy Kind Of Way by Andy White

Maybe it was over when you chucked me out the rover at full speed
from Maybe Maybe by A-Ha

 

[pete]

marrying a biiaattchh
having seven kiaaddss

 

[nlgbbbblth]

She works in Marks and Spencer
La La La Lech Walesa

Half Man Half Biscuit - Reflections In A Flat

 

[pete]

quiet riot got me started with the banging of my head
iron maiden, judas priest and slayer taught me how to shred

not funny or bad but i like it

 

[evil bandit]

Sometimes I feel more fulfilled
Making Christmas cards for the mentally ill.
Frankly Mr Shankly - The Smiths

Table tennis rules
They're so confusing it's not played by fools
Ice Hockey HAir - Super Furry Animals

With your snakeskin suit and your alligator boot
You won't need a laundrette, you can send them to the vet
Kola Kola - The Clash

 

[cpr]

I'm feeling supersonic
give me gin and tonic

 

[evil bandit]

I'm feeling supersonic
give me gin and tonic

The sink is full of fishes
She's got dirty dishes on the brain

 

[Froog]

duh du du duh EVIL!
duh du du duh DICK!
duh du du duh EVIL DICK!

Evil dick likes warm, wet places,
Evil dick dont care about faces.
Evil dick likes, young, tiny, small spaces,
Evil dick leaves little gooey telltale traces.
Evil dick.

Evil Dick - Body Count

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Tell us what to do
Fuck you!

Bodycount - Bodycount

 

[pete]

Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a fucking rope
(Repeat)
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's dead

Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a fucking rope
(Repeat)
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's fucking dead


edit: that one's not Weezer

 

[Cara]

I'll stab you in the eye, yo,
With a fucking biro
The same fucking biro you just used to sign your giro,
You fucking wino
Don't fucking cross my line, yo,
I'll hit you so hard your arse will hit the floor in Cairo.

Plan B - No Good

No Good is right

 

[Diddles]

Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice,
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is,
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven,
This honkey's gone to heaven,
But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well,
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk,
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist,
And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-christ.


Bloodhound gang - Fire Water Burn

 

[lympog]

anti-nowhere league "so what" - the entire song is genius

So fucking what!

Well I've been to Hastings
And I've been to Brighton
I've been to Eastbourne too
So what, so what

Well I've been here
And I've been there
And I've been every fucking where
So what, so what

So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you

Well I've sucked sweets
And I've sucked rock
And I've even sucked an old man's cock
So what, so what

Well I've fucked a sheep
And I've fucked a goat
I've had my cock right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you

Well I've drunk that
And I've drunk this
And I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what

And I've had scag
I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you

Well I've had crabs
And I've had lice
And I've had the pox and that ain't nice
So what, so what

Well I've fucked this
And I've fucked that
And I've even fucked a schoolgirl's crack
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Who cares, who cares about you
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you....

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

.|..|
leigh

 

[Kermit McDermott]

Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a fucking rope
(Repeat)
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's dead

Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a fucking rope
(Repeat)
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's fucking dead

edit: that one's not Weezer

These 2 look like they might actually do it.

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[dunderhead]

amusing because of avoidance of rhyme,

the cramps - good taste

you got good taste
you got good taste
you come here
sit on my.....lap

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[Deleted member 3435]

speaking of the cramps, i've always loved "I'm a human fly and i don't know why
I got ninety six tears in my ninety six eyes".

Big Monster Love: "he was the first guy in Dublin with a micro korg, he used to go out on stage decked out like Jordy La Forge and I bet he's got the hots for me, and I bet he's got the hots...for me".

Also O' Malley's Bar by Nick Cave is chock full of amusing rhymes.

I am tall and I am thin
Of an enviable height
And I've been known to be quite handsome
In a certain angle and certain light
Well I entered into O'Malley's
Said, "O'Malley I have a thirst"
O'Malley merely smiled at me
Said "You wouldn't be the first"
I knocked on the bar and pointed
To a bottle on the shelf
And as O'Malley poured me out a drink
I sniffed and crossed myself
My hand decided that the time was nigh
And for a moment it slipped from view
And when it returned, it fairly burned
With confidence anew
Well the thunder from my steely fist
Made all the glasses jangle
When I shot him, I was so handsome
It was the light, it was the angle
Huh! Hmmmmmm
"Neighbours!" I cried, "Friends!" I screamed
I banged my fist upon the bar
"I bear no grudge against you!"
And my dick felt long and hard
"I am the man for which no God waits
But for which the whole world yearns
I'm marked by darkness and by blood
And one thousand powder-burns"
Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips
That clean the ocean floor
When I looked at poor O'Malley's wife
That's exactly what I saw
I jammed the barrel under her chin
And her face looked raw and vicious
Her head it landed in the sink
With all the dirty dishes
Her little daughter Siobhan
Pulled beers from dusk till down
And amongst the townfolk she was a bit of a joke
But she pulled the best beer in town
I swooped magnificent upon her
As she sat shivering in her grief
Like the Madonna painted on the church-house wall
In whale's blood and banana leaf
Her throat it crumbled in my fist
And I spun heroically around
To see Caffrey rising from his seat
I shot that mother fucker down
Mmmmmmmmmm Yeah Yeah Yeah
"I have no free will", I sang
As I flew about the murder
Mrs. Richard Holmes, she screamed
You really should have heard her
I sang and I laughed, I howled and I wept
I panted like a pup
I blew a hole in Mrs. Richard Holmes
And her husband stupidly stood up
As he screamed, "You are an evil man"
And I paused a while to wonder
"If I have no free will then how can I
Be morally culpable, I wonder"
I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach
And gingerly he sat down
And he whispered weirdly, "No offense"
And then lay upon the ground
"None taken", I replied to him
To which he gave a little cough
With blazing wings I neatly aimed
And blew his head completely off
I've lived in this town for thirty years
And to no-one I am a stranger
And I put new bullets in my gun
Chamber upon chamber
And I turned my gun on the bird-like Mr. Brookes
I thought of Saint Francis and his sparrows
And as I shot down the youthful Richardson
It was St. Sebastian I thought of, and his arrows
Hhhhhhhhhh Mmmmmmmmmmmm
I said, "I want to introduce myself
And I am glad that all you came"
And I leapt upon the bar
And shouted out my name
Well Jerry Bellows, he hugged his stool
Closed his eyes and shrugged and laughed
And with an ashtray as big as a fucking really big brick
I split his head in half
His blood spilled across the bar
Like a steaming scarlet brook
And I knelt at it's edge on the counter
Wiped the tears away and looked
Well, the light in there was blinding
Full of God and ghosts of truth
I smiled at Henry Davenport
Who made an attempt to move
Well, from the position I was standing
The strangest thing I ever saw
The bullet entered through the top of his chest
And blew his bowels out on the floor
Well I floated down the counter
Showing no remorse
I shot a hole in Kathleen Carpenter
Recently divorced
But remorse i felt and remorse I had
It clung to every thing
From the raven's hair upon my head
To the feathers on my wings
Remorse sqeezed my hand in it's fradulent claw
With it's golden hairless chest
And I glided through the bodies
And killed the fat man Vincent West
Who sat quietly in his chair
A man become a child
And I raised the gun up to his head
Executioner-style
He made no attempt to resist
So fat and dull and lazy
"Did you know I lived in your street?" I said
And he looked at me as though I were crazy
"O", he said, "I had no idea"
And he grew as quiet as a mouse
And the roar of the pistol when it went off
Near blew that hat right off the house
Hmmmmmm Uh Uh
Well, I caught my eye in the mirror
And gave it a long and loving inspection
"There stands some kind of man", I roared
And there did, in the reflection
My hair combed back like a raven's wing
My muscles hard and tight
And curling from the business end of my gun
Was a query-mark of cordite
Well I spun to the left, I spun to the right
And I spun to the left again
"Fear me! Fear me! Fear me!"
But no one did cause they were dead
Huh! Hmmmmmmmmm
And then there were the police sirens wailing
And a bull-horn squelched and blared
"Drop your weapons and come out
With your hands held in the air"
Well, I checked the chamber of my gun
Saw I had one final bullet left
My hand, it looked almost human
As I raised it to my head
"Drop your weapon and come out!
Keep your hands above your head!"
I had one one long hard think about dying
And did exactly what they said
There must have been fifty cops out there
In a circle around O'Malley's bar
"Don't shoot", I cried, "I'm a man unarmed!"
So they put me in their car
And they sped me away from that terrible scene
And I glanced out of the window
Saw O'Malley's bar, saw the cops and the cars
And I started counting on my fingers
Aaaaaah One Aaaaaah Two Aaaaaah Three Aaaaaaah Four
O'Malley's bar O'Malley's bar

 

[dunderhead]

See, I met this women from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, “Aiiiiieeee!”
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch

Colt 45 - Afroman, what a poet. full lyrics:

Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right? Man, check this out… it was this blind man, right? He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right? Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said, “Woooooo, good morning, ladies.” You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man. I tell you what… my man on the guitar, fool on the drums, everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes. But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, “Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!”
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this women from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, “Aiiiiieeee!”
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, “I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.”
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy!”
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her 'til she turned into a white albina. Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her.
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck, but the pussy just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long to cum (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast.
But he's already mad, cause you fuckin' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your ass.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[ratmonkey]

She was a good witch, she was a bad witch, but all I really wanted was a motherfucking sandwich.

Ugly Kid Joe.

 

[Tubby Tucker]

"All I need is bitch that'll give me wet dreams,
So I can get my rocks off like erosion in streams.
I drop science like clumsy professors in auditoriums,
And stretch niggas out like a motherfucking accordion".

Apathy & Celph Titled - No Joke

 

[ernesto]

blowing kisses
to disinterested bitches