Absolutely awful impending dilemma. (3 Viewers)

[pighead]

Male Pattern Baldness. It's a curse that has been in the Pighead family for at least 4 generations. Most probably longer. A curse that has affected the males of our noble family in cruel and horrible ways (Great Grandaddy's nickname at work was "The Bastard" which he didn't really mind as it sounded kind of menacing but once his hair fell out they started to call him "The Baldy Bastard" which he absolutely hated as it made him sound like he was hairless) The Pighead family has won numerous battles over the years but this is one enemy we have failed to overcome. And now it's Pighead's turn to face the unseen enemy.

The baldness is fast approaching. Like the 12 o clock train from Heuston Station to Limerick junction it hasn't left yet, and it most probably won't leave at 12 but eventually it shall leave the station and chug chug chug it's way to a town called sadsville. Papa Pighead's train pulled in many moons ago and he is as bald as the proverbial shaved fanny. Lucky for him he bagged himself a hot chick (AKA Mammy) before the curse struck.

As Pighead types this now he does so with a good head of hair and a lovely set of sideburns but the onset of baldness cannot be far away. The question is this. Should Pighead ask Miss Piggy to marry him now before the baldness sets in even though he has no desire to get wed or should he play the game of risk and hope she'll marry her baldie lover in five years time when he is ready? The problem with the second option is that there is a fair chance Miss Piggy will spurn her baldie lovers advances as last week when Pighead asked her who she fancied more between Brad Pitt and Phil Mitchell she immediately replied "Brad Pitt of course".

What to do?

 

[Reets]

Dear Mr Pighead,
sorry to hear about your dilemma.
You sound like a nice enough guy and all but inner beauty is a very difficult image to wack off to.
Marry her now and get her knocked up right away so she's trapped with you.
That way when someone better comes along she'll find it harder to leave.
Best of luck
R.

 

[pighead]

Dear Mr Pighead,
sorry to hear about your dilemma.
You sound like a nice enough guy and all but inner beauty is a very difficult image to wack off to.
Marry her now and get her knocked up right away so she's trapped with you.
That way when someone better comes along she'll find it harder to leave.
Best of luck
R.

thanks for the suggestion riath but Pighead could never and would never set a "trap" for his beloved. A man sets traps for his enemies. He sets traps for the angry bear or the sneaky mouse but never for his lover.

 

[Squiggle]

I have to disagree with Miss Riath.

There is always a possibility that you will not follow in your father's footsteps. My advice would be to point out your Dad as the worst case scenario and ask the lady if she could live with that, if and when it happened. At least then she would be prepared and have time to adjust to the idea, before it's a reality.

 

[ThisIsDan]

I feel your pain Pighead. I was once like you. Facing a bleak journey on the train to Kojacksville. After using regaine for a couple of months I now supply my spare hair to a number of local wig shops. It's expensive in the shops (about €25 a bottle) but these guys, based in Ireland, sell a generic version for way less here; http://regrowth.auctivacommerce.com/

 

[Froog]

pighead! fucking leg-end.

 

[pighead]

I have to disagree with Miss Riath.

There is always a possibility that you will not follow in your father's footsteps. My advice would be to point out your Dad as the worst case scenario and ask the lady if she could live with that, if and when it happened. At least then she would be prepared and have time to adjust to the idea, before it's a reality.

To be honest Squiggle it's not so much the physical aspect of going bald that is worrying Pighead. Thankfully this poster was blessed with dreamy eyes and a moviestar like chiselled profile so there shouldn't be any problems in the attraction department. No, the problem is to do with confidence issues. Losing ones hair is seen as a sign of weakness. Pighead can't think of one rockstar who lost all their hair and became better musicians. Right Said Fred possiobly but Pighead isn't aware of their pre-bald output so he can't really comment. The once universally adored Billy Corgan has become a pansy since he shaved his hair off. Pighead couldn't live with following in his footsteps.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

pete townsend1 but he turned out to be a nonce, innit

 

[pighead]

pete townsend1 but he turned out to be a nonce, innit

I'd say the noncing was almost certainly directly related to his balding. That's another worry. Would absolutely hate to end up being a nonce.

Unfortunately hair is a very very strong currency in this world. It's just a fact of life. Gail Porter was infinitely more shaggable before she went bald. Pighead is sure she's a nice girl even without the hair but to be honest nice doesn't cut it when you want to be aroused. People say she was brave to shave off all her hair but those people are wrong. She was stupid. She has denied herself a chance to end up in a double bed with yours truly. Rookie mistake.

 

[Serpico]

Dear Pighead,

Worryingly, you refer to your Ma as a "hot chick". This is more worrying than MPB. However, I have it on good information that one does not inherit ones head of hair from the male side of the family. If your "hot" Ma's Da has hair, you should be grand. If not, hate that. Baldys always look defeated.

Regards,

Serpico (running my fingers through my full-bodied mane, ooooh yeah!)

 

[Pulped Orphan]

LOL @ bald people.

 

[ratmonkey]

However, I have it on good information that one does not inherit ones head of hair from the male side of the family.

If one did, it would be a hairloom.

 

[Serpico]

a hairloom.

For making rugs on.

 

[pighead]

LOL @ bald people.

Just out interest why would you LOL at a bald person? Surely bald people have feelings just like you and me? Would you LOL at a man who lost his legs in a tragic trampolining accident? Would you laugh at a woman whose head was in the shape of the outline of Australia? Course you wouldn't, so why LOL at baldies?

And just as a matter of interest do you LOL in their faces or behind their baldie heads?

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

paint rabbits on your head-they'll look like hares from a distance.
sorry,ill leave.

 

[ernesto]

paint rabbits on your head-they'll look like hares from a distance.
sorry,ill leave.

for baldies:
growing a beard+square glasses --> become hip.

 

[Pulped Orphan]

Just out interest why would you LOL at a bald person? Surely bald people have feelings just like you and me? Would you LOL at a man who lost his legs in a tragic trampolining accident? Would you laugh at a woman whose head was in the shape of the outline of Australia? Course you wouldn't, so why LOL at baldies?

And just as a matter of interest do you LOL in their faces or behind their baldie heads?

It's funny because they lack hair.

Lolopecia totalis.

 

[pighead]

It's funny because they lack hair.

Lolopecia totalis.

Actually when you put it like that it is quite funny. He he he shiny heads.

 

[Pulped Orphan]

Actually when you put it like that it is quite funny. He he he shiny heads.

he he

 

[nooleen]

Pighead can't think of one rockstar who lost all their hair and became better musicians. Right Said Fred possiobly but Pighead isn't aware of their pre-bald output so he can't really comment. The once universally adored Billy Corgan has become a pansy since he shaved his hair off. Pighead couldn't live with following in his footsteps.

cf. jack nicholson