mothers.just how bad is it. (2 Viewers)

[deedee]

hey mothers, is it true that sometimes its possible for the epidural to wear off and then you have to give birth and feel all the pain?

also when you get the epidural can you literaly feel NO pain or is that a myth?

I felt every last tear when I had my daughter. The epidural gives relief for a while but wears off and it's not really a good idea to not feel anything as you can't push properly then.

 

[La La]

I felt every last tear when I had my daughter. .

*plans for a cute little family of 3 boys and 1 girl goes straight out the window*

 

[Pantone247]

I think it's unfair to talk about childbirth, my experience of it and my daughters mothers feelings on the matter, with women who've not had kids or mothers to be, it just seems cruel or something...

 

[deedee]

It worked for my girlfriend's sister - that's why we're doing it.

Sorry Billy, I probably sounded like a real knowitall there but every woman's experience is completely different and I really hope your girlfriend/wife has a positive experience and that hypnobirthing / acupuncture works for her. I had flashbacks of the birth afterwards and it caused a bit of bother for me to bond with my baby and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

If I ever "go agin" I will try anything to have a better, more positive experience than first time round!

 

[Pantone247]

If I ever "go agin" I will try anything to have a better, more positive experience than first time round!

www.adoption.ie

 

[La La]

I think it's unfair to talk about childbirth, my experience of it and my daughters mothers feelings on the matter, with women who've not had kids or mothers to be, it just seems cruel or something...

yeah but if we ask then fair enough!!!!! ultimately each woman's experience will be unique and no matter how painful, will hopefully result in a healthy baby. i dont mind being curious and even though i i really dont mind hearing about it because it could be advertised as the worst thing in the world and it wouldnt stop me from wanting a child of my own someday

 

[jane]

*plans for a cute little family of 3 boys and 1 girl goes straight out the window*

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

As soon as I heard about the stitches, I started to think about the merits of adoption.

Seriously.

But I go through phases. Right now, Dee dee's posts, rather than make me more freaked out about having a baby, make me want one. I guess because what makes me a bit nervous is the idea that there's this whole 'fashion' trend thing around having a baby, and this pressure not to do it 'wrong', and 'what your birthing style says about you', etc. That makes me more nervous, I think, than the fact that childbirth is going to fucking hurt.

But like, really, at the end of it all, you can do all the pregnancy yoga aromatherapy you want, but if the baby wants to be born legs first, that's what the baby's gonna get. I'd do that sort of stuff, sure, but I hate the way mothers are sometimes made to feel like failures because their plans for home births or totally natural births were just not possible to carry out. It's a baby. And knowing that you can plan all you like, but a baby doesn't work according to your schedule is -- I assume -- the best and first lesson you can learn as a parent.

At least we can all see that the vision of a happy family sitting around, peacefully, with baby playing quietly on the floor, and momma and poppa sitting reading novels for pleasure while curled up affectionately on the couch is about as fucking possible as saying I'm going to have lunch with Napoleon on Mars this afternoon. I think the more people talk about the 'ideal', the worse parents end up feeling if the reality is that you're actually covered in puke, the baby's shirt is on backwards, and you can't tell if that gunge in your hair came from before or after it went down the baby's oesophagus.

Ugh. This parenting board is making me EVEN MORE BROODY THAN EVER.

*gets all weepy*

 

[egg_]

plans for a cute little family of 3 boys and 1 girl goes straight out the window

Don't plan your family until have one and see how you get on. Really.

 

[La La]

Ugh. This parenting board is making me EVEN MORE BROODY THAN EVER.

*gets all weepy*

me too!!!!!!!!!!!! i keep sticking my head in here to see if there's anything cute going on.

Don't plan your family until have one and see how you get on. Really.

3 little dudes. and a girl. it's been my "plan" since i started producing hormones! i know what you mean though. i guess it's cos i come from a family of kids and i like the idea of it.

 

[egg_]

Sex is overrated anyway.

Being a parent is all about making a virtue of necessity

 

[Anthony]

Wife went natural both times. She saw the pain as being part of the process and tried to embrace it. Second time we used homeopathy. I had loads of little bags with sheets of instructions. It worked very well. The midwives in Holles Street were fucking useless. It was almost like they didn't know how to deal with a natural birth. First time was in the Rotunda and the midwife was brilliant, very supportive and helped her though the birth knowing that she wanted to do it naturally.

 

[Pantone247]

yeah but if we ask then fair enough!!!!! ultimately each woman's experience will be unique and no matter how painful, will hopefully result in a healthy baby. i dont mind being curious and even though i i really dont mind hearing about it because it could be advertised as the worst thing in the world and it wouldnt stop me from wanting a child of my own someday

yeah... but its like going to the slaughterhouse to laugh at the lambs y'know?

My daughters mother said to her mother of the birth, that if there was a gun in the room she would've shot herself. I thought this was quite funny and laughed, no one else laughed...

 

[deedee]

Jane, I have to spread some sudocreme etc - jesus that doesn't sound great.

 

[La La]

yeah... but its like going to the slaughterhouse to laugh at the lambs y'know?

yes but as a woman, with a fully functioning womb, and a tendency to be very broody, it is quite normal to want to know these things, no matter how disturbing the imagery may be!

 

[jane]

me too!!!!!!!!!!!! i keep sticking my head in here to see if there's anything cute going on.

I guess we should spend more time on Cute Lifestyles because this could become a problem for both of us. AAAAAHHHHH. I suppose also, we could arrange to borrow some people's babies for a bit, and that'd beat the broodiness right out of us, at least temporarily. If it helps, I was on a train a few weeks ago, and this little kid was running around like a fucking maniac, harrassing everyone, screeching the entire time, and then took his clothes off and ran around, crawling into tiny spaces so no one could catch him. His mom was really young, and it was obviously all too much for her, but it DEFINITELY cured my broodiness for a few days.

3 little dudes. and a girl. it's been my "plan" since i started producing hormones! i know what you mean though. i guess it's cos i come from a family of kids and i like the idea of it.

Four kids!? Christ. I have never wanted more than two. Part of me thinks that one is just plenty for me. I dunno. I'm sure there are some grown-up only children out there who would give good reasons for at least having a pair of kids, but I think I'll end up being fairly old when I finally have one (if I even can), and I'm not sure if I want to be in my 50s dealing with more than one teenager.

 

[snakybus]

Being a parent is all about making a virtue of necessity

now that's a nice euphemism

I'm just off for a "virtue"

 

[jane]

Jane, I have to spread some sudocreme etc - jesus that doesn't sound great.

No, see, I dunno, you're pretty much the only momma on Thumped, and there's a contendedness and playfulness about your attitude toward motherhood that really conveys the sense that it really is worth it. So all the horror stories in the world, and I'm still broody.

Actually, it's not babies that scare me, it's the fact that they're only babies for a short time, and before you know it, they're teenagers and they're all grown up, and all parents fuck up their kids.

I'm more terrified than anything of my kids ending up as neurotic and insecure as I am. I wouldn't wish my fucking neuroses on anyone, and if I knew for a fact that my child would definitely grow up to be as much of a mess as I am sometimes, I think I would actually refrain from having kids at all. The chance to raise someone who can learn from my mistakes and be really genuinely happy is a good thing, but I'm just absolutely terrified that I'll screw up and end up with someone as fucked-up as me.

 

[Pantone247]

You must spread some babies around before giving babies to snakybus again.

 

[Wölflinge]

I was induced and the contractions pretty much came *BANG* as soon as they applied the gel... They were strong from the outset and Sionnach went into distress...her heartbeat slowed down to nothing and we were put straight into the delivery room. I had imaginied that I'd be spending the whole day walking the corridors trying to get contractions going so it was a bit of a shock- You know when you're so nervous that your jaw is trembling and you go so cold?

Anyway, himself went to get something to eat and left me to walk around the room singing sea shanties to myself and when he came back it was pretty much a doomfest inside my body- The contractions were coming straight on top of each other and were "abnormally strong"... Her heart was dropping down to nothing again and it was the most traumatic experience I've ever gone through. I would have clawed through my flesh at that stage to get her out safely.

They decided to do an emergency C-section. Within seconds we were both gowned up and whisked into theatre. I was laid out in the position of a crucifix, with tubes and stuff going in both hands. They opened me up (really weird sensation), then there was all this sucking with a hoover thing(amniotic fluid is drained) and they wrench and tug and pull the baby out (really fucking weird sensation).

The whole thing was a bit scary but as deedee said, none of that matters a hoot because at that stage, you'd do anything once you knew they were safe.

Recovery was quick for me as I had been taking arnica and bellis perenis (homeopathic stuff) the whole month or two before I was due. I have no doubt that that helped me heal the rate I did. While all the biddies around me were moaning and groaning, I was taking showers and zipping about changing her nappies and bringing her for walks through the corridors pretty much within two days.

Plus, if you do have a section, they really mind the baby until you're able to do stuff like that and you're so out of it on morphine that you don't really feel as much pain.

Now, the beginning stages of breastfeeding on the other hand... ho ho!
fucking hell...

 

[Squiggle]

I guess we should spend more time on Cute Lifestyles because this could become a problem for both of us. AAAAAHHHHH. I suppose also, we could arrange to borrow some people's babies for a bit, and that'd beat the broodiness right out of us, at least temporarily.

That doesn't work for me. Every time I 'talk' with my 2 year old niece on the phone I end up with that "I want one" feeling. When I spend time with her it's even worse.

Then I tell myself to cop on, force myself to picture having a child with my life as it is, and the feeling goes away rapidly.