Where Have I Been All Your Life? (1 Viewer)

[Anne OMalley]

Just in time for the weekend, or possibly a little late, I'm collecting chat-up lines.

Here are a few shite ones to start with:

- You don't sweat much for a fat lass

- Nice. Nice. Mmmmm. Nice.

- Do you have anything on under that bra?

- You get used to the smell after a month

- Pleeeease?

 

[pad]

actually this guy who once kissed my sister told me his chat up line was "i love you" and he claimed it worked. my sister denied this vigourously, and would probably deny kissing him if she could.

 

[Anne OMalley]

"I love you" is of course the all time greatest chat-up line: it even works for married couples.

Here are a couple more:

- If you were a donkey, I bet you'd be a really tall elegant one with lovely legs and great tits.

- Hi, I'm Leonard. Address: your dream palace. Occupation: oh, y'know, just plain old makin-your-life-worthwhile!

- Pinch me, I'm dreaming. (Er, on the arse please.)

patsbury (11 Jan, 2002 05:35 p.m.):
actually this guy who once kissed my sister told me his chat up line was "i love you" and he claimed it worked. my sister denied this vigourously, and would probably deny kissing him if she could.

 

[Paul O'Malley]

Ah sod this, Anne man, I'm off down the boozer. Catch you later between the sheets.

 

[Anne OMalley]

You should be so lucky, droop boy.

Paul O'Malley (11 Jan, 2002 05:48 p.m.):
Ah sod this, Anne man, I'm off down the boozer. Catch you later between the sheets.

 

[gipetto]

Personal favourite:

"Do you wanna go halves on a bastard?"

or,

"Nice eyes, lets fuck".

 

[pete]

As used (to great success) by a friend of mine a few years back:

1. Introduce self to lady.

2. Engage lady in banal conversation for 10 to 20 minutes

3. Enquire of lady "So. Are you getting off with me, or what?"

It works.

 

[dudley]

'do you like the sound of a theremin, love? suck on me knob and i'll go aoooooooooieeeeeeeeeeeeeieeeeeaaaaaaaa all night!'

'do you like to swim? try this for a length"

"do you like chicken? suck on me pudding, its foul!"

"you'll not do any better for yourself"

 

[Monkey]

"You smell deadly"
"You look rapid"

 

[silo]

"get your coat. you've scored." always a winner.

 

[ronan]

my brother's been known to wait outside the girls jacks and ask the emerging suspects -
"so, didja do a wee or a poo?"

the buurds love it.

 

[Spudmonkey999]

i find what usually happens is

1. introduce urself to said lady

2. talk bollix for 4 hours

3. go home annoyed and cursing god

4. reach home try make a pact with satan for a mad orgy.

5. even satan refuses the pact

6. have a wee weep and write a zine all about it!

 

[Mohammed Ben Avaram]

"How are you ?,
is your pussy dripping honey?"

 

[nj]

another good chat up line that i don't use cos im scared of girls is:

did ya hear about the 300lb Polar Bear?
Nah neither did i, but it broke the ice!

 

[Stuart Little]

Try:

"D'ya wanna go someplace where I can grunt in your face?"

And if that fails:

"Yeah well, I wouldn't cum on my shoe and kick it into ya, ya dog."

 

[snakybus]

I know a guy who goes up to girls, stands back, surveys her, and just says "Wow!"

His other chat up line is "I hear you're dirty"

It's not me.

 

[Ex-User (250)]

my favourite is:

"it's not me, it's you. Now turn the fuck around and shut the fuck up."

nice, eh?

 

[Stephen]

"Is there room in you belly for a logder?" said in Roscommmon accent.
The guy who used this was big so I'm sure if he noticed or cared if it didn't work.

 

[old]

So how was the success rate this weekend with this fine array of lines?
Anne O'M, did you try them out?

 

[the bearded lady]

Handsome Intelligent Man: "do you like christmas?"

Slut: "yeah, sure!"

Handsome Intelligent Man: "well, pull my cock, its a cracker"

well, worked for my da.....