Things I should have known before now... (5 Viewers)

[seanc]

Reading back on my somewhat self indulgent posts, what I meant was:

Since you're both serious, go for it. I'd imagine a bank manager would like to see evidence of a durable relationship (if we're still allowed use that phrase). I mean if you're going for a mortgage or other financial products.


Each having your own beer money account is a fine idea.

 

[egg_]

So you both know what’s in the others account, and if they’re not roughly even (assuming of course) then that’s no issue?

Well I get paid approx 4x what Mrs. egg_ gets paid, so they're never even (or rather - only even-ish at the end of the month when the money is all spent or saved for various things). We've been through phases when she was the main earner too, but that was pre-kids and unlikely to happen again. I dunno man, there's just never really been an issue We don't keep an eye on one another's accounts. If one of us is consistently short of money then we'll adjust who's paying for what (atm I pay almost all the bills). Neither of us are big spenders, and if we're going to buy anything out of the ordinary we'll discuss it with one another.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

There’s also the very real problem that a separate account may be inaccessible after your death for a while - could be an issue if there is asymmetrical earnings. You don’t want one of you to be stuck for cash in the event of the other dying. A joint account is available to the second named party with the death certificate rather than after probate.

 

[egg_]

Yeah, actually made a will just a couple of weeks ago and the lawyer raised this. You can't just add someone to an existing account though, and it's a massive pain in the hole to change bank accounts (or at least it was fo me when Ulster Bank closed ... probably we should have opened a joint account at the time, but it never occurred to either of us)

 

[Jill Hives]

So ABSOLUTE! But why is the question?

I suppose, at nearly 50 and never having a joint account with anyone there is a bit of independence there I will never let go. We don't have children together. He has an ex and children he has to attend to before "us". It's just easier to estimate my monthly share of bills and have a standing order to him to pay everything for us from his account.

I can't imagine not having my own personal account. I think I would be divorced fast if I had to track a joint account. Plus, I'd fear my house would be filled with Airplane models.

 

[ann post]

I suppose, at nearly 50 and never having a joint account with anyone there is a bit of independence there I will never let go. We don't have children together. He has an ex and children he has to attend to before "us". It's just easier to estimate my monthly share of bills and have a standing order to him to pay everything for us from his account.

I can't imagine not having my own personal account. I think I would be divorced fast if I had to track a joint account. Plus, I'd fear my house would be filled with Airplane models.

There's a generic spitfire model kit lying about my place someone left behind - I'd post it on if it was something that someone could knock a bit of fun out of.

 

[Jill Hives]

There's a generic spitfire model kit lying about my place someone left behind - I'd post it on if it was something that someone could knock a bit of fun out of.

Thank you, but WE HAVE ENOUGH. I have visions of being Godzilla just stampeding and swatting them all.

 

[egg_]

from Check if you're disabled under the Equality Act

 

[egg_]

you'd wonder what led them to have to specify those particular things ..

 

[pete]

you'd wonder what led them to have to specify those particular things ..

4 out of 5 are also criminal behaviours in most cases, so maybe something to do with that?

 

[ernesto]

“No no, my tendency to sexually assault you is actually my disability “

 

[seanc]

I've seen hayfever disable people.

 

[pete]

I've seen hayfever disable people.

I’ve been completely ruined by it in the past to the extent that I couldn’t breathe properly for months, or leave the house at all for days, or have almost flu-level tiredness from it all, but it’s not a disability.

Edit: it turned out in the end that I had some pretty wild sinus issues going on that were making things a lot worse so it wasn’t just the hay fever

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

View attachment 18295
from Check if you're disabled under the Equality Act

I’m ok, mine is used as an example of a substantial effect on your life.

 

[seanc]

I’ve been completely ruined by it in the past to the extent that I couldn’t breathe properly for months, or leave the house at all for days, or have almost flu-level tiredness from it all, but it’s not a disability.

Edit: it turned out in the end that I had some pretty wild sinus issues going on that were making things a lot worse so it wasn’t just the hay fever

Am I conflation illness with disability?

 

[ann post]

No your a conflation illness

 

[the_jen]

Yeah, but I’m not only talking about convenience or the banks or whatever, but the thought processes of the couple. We had a joint account immediately once we were en route to marriage. I can’t really get my head around why people wouldn’t do that except for very specific circumstances. My partner would seriously question why I would want to have different access to resources than her, and frankly so would I!

I can't imagine why people would, except if they expect the relationship to lead to babies. Kids cost a lot, they have unpredictable expenses and they are probably going to harm one person's earning potential disproportionately. Makes good sense if you're going to be paying for kids to have a shared account.

All our day to day expenses, groceries etc, go on a shared credit card (credit card rather than revolut or whatever, for the rewards) and we pay it off equally. All our monthly bills are very predictable, they come out of his account and I pay my half in a lump sum once a month. After that, my money's my own, I earned it and he earned his... It just wouldn't have occurred to me to get a shared account.

 

[the_jen]

How are the shared account people surprising each other on their birthdays?

 

[egg_]

I earned it and he earned his

We always shared money cos it seemed fairer that way. Why should I have more money cos I happen to work in tech and Mrs. egg_ works in wildlife conservation?

... but yeah, we have individual accounts as I said, though we may as well have a joint one. I stopped trying to surprise her with presents a long time ago - my success rate was too low. She'll still occasionally surprise me, but not often

 

[seanc]

No your a conflation illness

Typo, I meant conflating, but if that's the way you want to play it, it's "you're", not your.