Things I should have known before now... (4 Viewers)

[Cornu Ammonis]

How are the shared account people surprising each other on their birthdays?

With presents, thoughtful gestures and undying love like a normal person.

 

[seanc]

Show off

 

[the_jen]

We always shared money cos it seemed fairer that way. Why should I have more money cos I happen to work in tech and Mrs. egg_ works in wildlife conservation?

Yes, that's true. When I was out-earned 3:2, the fixed amount paid to the credit card was weighted the same way and the frivolous stuff - dinners out and the like - mostly fell to him.

 

[the_jen]

With presents, thoughtful gestures and undying love like a normal person.

It's the presents I'm wondering about. Just the logistics. How do manage a surprise weekend away, say?

I'm not trying to be disingenuous here, by the way, I just assumed separate accounts were the norm and now that I'm examining the notion I don't see many cons (except surprises), but I don't see any pros either.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

How do manage a surprise weekend away, say?

Well, I have three kids and a neurodiverse wife - the joint account isn’t the barrier to the surprise weekend there. Honestly, a surprise weekend is not something that either of us would be enjoying that much and we tend to stick to small surprises in general, both of us would rather buy the other person exactly what they want rather than spend money on something that would be wasted.

 

[ann post]

The idea of someone buying me something i actually asked for is my love language as the kids* say.

 

[chris d]

Surprise weekends? holy shit.

 

[ann post]

I think a surprise weekend wouldn't work for me though

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[egg_]

Surprise weekends? holy shit.

Hahaha indeed. Don't think we ever had a surprise weekend. Before kids we had no money, and now every weekend is scheduled months in advance. If I had a surprise weekend planned I'd have to deflect countless attempts to put something into the calendar clashing with it, which would mean it was no longer a surprise

 

[egg_]

I'm not trying to be disingenuous here, by the way, I just assumed separate accounts were the norm and now that I'm examining the notion I don't see many cons (except surprises), but I don't see any pros either.

I think the big pro for joint accounts is easy access to money when one of you dies, as @Cornu Ammonis said.

 

[magicbastarder]

access to an account when your partner dies would be fairly low on the list of priorities for me.

 

[magicbastarder]

for me one of the main issues would be 'fuck, i own a horse now'.

 

[Jill Hives]

for me one of the main issues would be 'fuck, i own a horse now'.

But then you could fuck your Honda Civic.

 

[Reets]

But then you could fuck your Honda Civic.

Not literally.

 

[Deadmanposting]

Is there a word for someone who must like or endures pain but doesn't get sexual gratification from it?

If there is, I think that describes me and I should have realised it well before now.

A runner I met last year after a race , we talk now every now and then.
Super nice guy. Great runner.
From Texas.
Yesterday he tells me he's running the Mexico City marathon
I aksed him when it is, expecting to hear November.
It's in August
I'm all "Kachy! Mexico City's at crazy elevation. And in August heat! Dude!"

He just said "I like suffering"

Like not even being funny about it.


So, yes. Don't know the word. But you have people.

 

[egg_]

That's type 2 fun - doing something unpleasant and difficult because the "achievement" makes it all worthwhile

Not for me

 

[Deadmanposting]

That's type 2 fun - doing something unpleasant and difficult because the "achievement" makes it all worthwhile

Not for me

Yeah. Kinda.
Some people definitely enjoy the physical effort, the pain cave.
Like you meet these people half way up a fucking mountain pushing themselves as hard as they can, and there's nowhere else they'd rather be.
Some people suffer through it, so they can tell people later.

It's sort of the reverse of boozing and drugs. Pain first, joy second.
It takes some effort to force your body to make all those feel-good chemicals for your brain. But then you're buzzing for the day.

 

[Deadmanposting]

It's teh same with most anything that takes effort

People who learn an instrument have my massive respect, cos I know it takes endless hours of frustration and effort

Anything worthwhile worth doing usually takes some effort and sacrifice.
Particulalry any skill youw ant to put into your brain or your body.

It all depends on the motivation, I think.
Is moving someone into a new home a pain in the hole? Can be.
Is moving someone you love into teh home of their dreams a pain in the hole? Arguably less so.
You can limit the amount of space in your head that you give over to pain and discomfort.

Seeking comfort is a dead end, I think. Life can be richer with challenges.
Trying to write a song or a short story. We stick with it, because we know/hope it will be rewarding.

 

[magicbastarder]

i haven't been on the bike in six months (probable long covid i reckon) and i do miss that 'not being able to say my own name' after blasting myself up a hill as fast as possible.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

for me one of the main issues would be 'fuck, i own a horse now'.

You’d own a horse *and* you now don’t have access to half the money that you did just moments before.