faganfest!
New Member
After a brief conversation with someone early this morning, i've suddenly realised the full extent to my compulsion of deceit, lying and plagiarism. Only after everything had been summerized before my very eyes, did I realise the amount of strain i've caused on others in the community over the last number of months.
Although, now it may be too late, I would like to properly face up to this continuous deceptions i've imposed on others recently.
This whole issue really escalated in July of 2005, when i stole a demo CD of a local band, kidd blunt, from the bedroom of someone i'd have considered a close friend. When I began to make copies for others, word spread out and the members of the band were disgusted to hear of it.
But this was really only the platform, and things got much worse.
The months between July and November saw a series of compulsive, small and rediculous lies, which upset a lot of my closest friends.
I ceased to even realise this myself.
On the 27th of November, I secretly took home the basta! youth collective distro, failing to inform a single member of the group.
For many weeks i convieniently stole small amounts of cash from this box, which soon totalled nearly €120, by the end of December.
Then, a gradual realisation of this behaviour hit me, but i was only to ignore it, like everything and everyone else.
I continually argued with the collective, claiming I hadn't touched the funds, and making up rediculous stories to prevent people from thinking I had.
This never worked, but I still blindly denied all claims, even when there was solid evidence against me.
Most recently, in February of this year, I began plagiarising essays and poetry on local music based forum, 'rockinrockass'.
When people got onto this, I deleted all of the evidence, but it was all too late.
These three major examples, are three of hundreds that have undoubtedly escalated over a course of six months, or more.
Beneath all of this mistrust and deception, however, I do still love the d.i.y. community of which i've been a part of for over two years now.
While I have destroyed a lot of strong friendships, abused the trust of groups and fooled anyone I possibly could, I do still have the same beliefs as alwats, but they've lost themselves in this lie I'm living in.
I would dearly like to reintegrate myself back into the community over time, if it's not already too late.
If it is, that's fully acceptable, taking into account everything that has happened.
I feel that either way, the truth needed to be aired, and an apology made, to all of you who I've disappointed over the last few months.
Although, now it may be too late, I would like to properly face up to this continuous deceptions i've imposed on others recently.
This whole issue really escalated in July of 2005, when i stole a demo CD of a local band, kidd blunt, from the bedroom of someone i'd have considered a close friend. When I began to make copies for others, word spread out and the members of the band were disgusted to hear of it.
But this was really only the platform, and things got much worse.
The months between July and November saw a series of compulsive, small and rediculous lies, which upset a lot of my closest friends.
I ceased to even realise this myself.
On the 27th of November, I secretly took home the basta! youth collective distro, failing to inform a single member of the group.
For many weeks i convieniently stole small amounts of cash from this box, which soon totalled nearly €120, by the end of December.
Then, a gradual realisation of this behaviour hit me, but i was only to ignore it, like everything and everyone else.
I continually argued with the collective, claiming I hadn't touched the funds, and making up rediculous stories to prevent people from thinking I had.
This never worked, but I still blindly denied all claims, even when there was solid evidence against me.
Most recently, in February of this year, I began plagiarising essays and poetry on local music based forum, 'rockinrockass'.
When people got onto this, I deleted all of the evidence, but it was all too late.
These three major examples, are three of hundreds that have undoubtedly escalated over a course of six months, or more.
Beneath all of this mistrust and deception, however, I do still love the d.i.y. community of which i've been a part of for over two years now.
While I have destroyed a lot of strong friendships, abused the trust of groups and fooled anyone I possibly could, I do still have the same beliefs as alwats, but they've lost themselves in this lie I'm living in.
I would dearly like to reintegrate myself back into the community over time, if it's not already too late.
If it is, that's fully acceptable, taking into account everything that has happened.
I feel that either way, the truth needed to be aired, and an apology made, to all of you who I've disappointed over the last few months.
