On Your Walls (1 Viewer)

[It Will Never Last]

Smear shit and menstrual blood on the walls, and enter the your house for the Turner Prize.

Make a Jesus from styrofoam and glue it to the wall, then wipe your cock in chocolate and slap it off his face a couple of dozen times.

Cut pictures of your favourite celebrity (Jennifer Ellison or Twink for example) out of the gossip mags and prit-stick them to the walls. Turn you house into a shrine to them, leave your job and live on cat food. Become a recluse.

Paint a window with a lovely view on the wall, something like a rendering plant or a brothel.

Hope that helps.

 

[Jim Daniels]

the best thing we have on our walls, and the thing most likely to be worth actual money is a framed portrait of Neil drawn by DC Berman in biro.

DC Berman?
Siver Jews dude? Now thats Cool...

I Wrote a Letter to a Wild Flower on a Classic Nitrogen Afternoon...one of my favourite opening lines.

 

[jane]

you could buy some original art by young local artists? would work out cheap, and could be an investment. and usually more interesting than a mirror.

This is a great idea. Getting anything framed is sometimes even more expensive than something like this.

Or, old maps in frames. BUT BUT BUT! You must be careful of buying a modern forgery, not that there's anything wrong with a modern COPY, but if they say it's an antique and you shell out for it, it had better bloody be one.

ALSO, and this one is really important: old maps and prints are often torn out of perfectly good books because selling them page-by-page has a higher profit margin than selling the whole book (as in, thousands of percent more money to be made). The general consensus among reputable antiquarian book and print dealers is that it is best to keep the object in its original form.

However, this is not to suggest that a map that is similar to one found in a book was necessarily taken from one. Printers used to sell them in both ways: if you wanted a map on its own but didn't want to buy the book, you could get it separately (and you could have it coloured for an extra fee).

So make sure, if you decide to replace your cool map that got wrecked, you buy from someone who either doesn't buy ones ripped out of perfectly good books, or only does it in the case that the book is damaged beyond repair and would otherwise be thrown out (I'd still want the book to stay intact, but I will accept this hesitantly--who would throw out something old just 'cause it's broked!? Bastards).

OK, no one cares. I've just confused everyone. But we've all learned a valuable lesson: Jane should cut down on coffee and/or shut up.

Poop is funny.

Why did I write all that?

Can I have a cookie?

My butt hurts.

 

[krystal]

Yup. He doesn't like to play live, and so by way of doing a meet and greet with his fans, did an instore in rough trade a few years ago and drew peoples portraits instead.

DC Berman?
Siver Jews dude? Now thats Cool...

I Wrote a Letter to a Wild Flower on a Classic Nitrogen Afternoon...one of my favourite opening lines.

 

[Zeelander]

Oh another cool thing to have on a wall if you have a lot of people round to your place is a height chart- measure each person's height and get them to sign and date it. It's handy to know who your tallest guest has been and who's the same height as who. Honestly, I had one in my old flat and it was the shit. Good way of keeping track of who you've been riding too.

 

[billygannon]

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

I've got, scrawled on my walls, a list of anyone who has ever 'wronged' me in my life

funniest post

 

[jane]

Also, the best thing I have on my wall is an April Fool's gag. It's a glass frame with an old shilling inside, that says "In case of Emergency, Break Glass. Issued by Dublin Corporation Underground Toilets Division, April 1, 1956).

Also, a 19th century map of Cork.

Also, a picture of a boy licking his finger and the back of a dog, and the caption "Only the dog knows for sure".

Or a gnome riding backwards on a pig, holding its tail like he's having a wank, but that's on a shelf and so doesn't really count.

Someone please make me shut up. I'm really really hopped up on coffee right now.

 

[jane]

Oh another cool thing to have on a wall if you have a lot of people round to your place is a height chart- measure each person's height and get them to sign and date it. It's handy to know who your tallest guest has been and who's the same height as who. Honestly, I had one in my old flat and it was the shit. Good way of keeping track of who you've been riding too.

Oh yeah, I also have a map of Dublin covered with tracing paper, onto which people were supposed to draw their own personal maps, features, routes, comments, whatever. I intended to make everyone who came to the house draw something on it, but I kept forgetting, so the only people who've done it are Billy, Cheryl, my friend Joe, and Anne OMalley.

It was supposed to be my coolest thing ever, and now it's just a failure I can't admit.

 

[Lord Damian]

Someone please make me shut up. I'm really really hopped up on coffee right now.

hardly - you have to explain the finger-licking boy...like, wouldn't he ALSO know? i'm confused.

 

[jane]

hardly - you have to explain the finger-licking boy...like, wouldn't he ALSO know? i'm confused.

Well, yes, both of them know, but he's got his mouth full.

 

[Lord Damian]

Well, yes, both of them know, but he's got his mouth full.

wow - i was expecting so many more sentences.

anyhow, that picture is a liar.

 

[Jim Daniels]

Yup. He doesn't like to play live, and so by way of doing a meet and greet with his fans, did an instore in rough trade a few years ago and drew peoples portraits instead.

Excellent. Sounds like a sound man.

Kristin Hersh once, at an Instore in Tower, drew a ten second picture of me with the legend *to Jimmy, a true sweetheart". All because I hadn't got a cd for her to sign. That was nice.

 

[jane]

wow - i was expecting so many more sentences.

anyhow, that picture is a liar.

Gotta breathe sometime. Nothing wrong with a little brown lie.

 

[clive]

I've got, scrawled on my walls, a list of anyone who has ever 'wronged' me in my life

this type of thing ?

BLACKLIST : supertough, kirstie, Zeelander, smelltheglove X2, Osama Van Halen

GOLDLIST : terri, glen, Queen Buzzo, FRANZ FERDINAND

MAUVELIST : brianoak

high - five !

 

[Corey]

Pannelled floor to cieling in beechwood.Bearskin and other animal hide. A moosehead. A wide variety of stuffed animals in fiersome poses.Some knives. A 5foot swastika with pride of place over the lit elephant tusk fireplace. Wieghts bench.Some hardcore european gay porn shoved not so inconspicuously down side of the leather couch, and a single glass of vermouth on the windowsill being seaoned by natural light.
ooh, and a calvanist bible on the coffee table for light reading.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

i used to have this deadly thing of leatherface made up of 42 A4 sheets
i liked it anyway

 

[rampz]

thers no point me hanging anything on my walls. my flat is built on an indian burial ground so blood keeps leaking out of the wall. its a nightmare to keep clean.

 

[rampz]

layers of dried semen.