incredibad
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 5
Knights of the New Crusade-A Challenge to the Cowards of Christendom
Christian music is generally awful. Usually I try not to take out the sweeping statement broom but this trip to the cupboard is entirely justified. Being the musical explorer that both of the regular readers of this column know me, I have sampled a fair lot of jesus-centric music in my time. It has to be said though, these incidences occurred mostly against my own free will. #i have many friends who (rather ironically) swear by this music. I however find it to be, in my faithless estimation, usually a saccharine or cynical exploitation of Christian’s deeply held beliefs. It appears all you have to do is take your 12 worst songs, replace the words “baby” and “girl” with “Jesus” and “lord” and you’ve got yourself a genuine cross-clutching hit record. This music is usually so lame and namby pamby that it could be construed. Lame bands like Creed and switchfoot make crappy derivative music their syrupy God-as-my-Girlfriend attempts at grabbing the mainstream turn as many people off religion as it does on. When has the fire and brimstone of truly kick-ass Christian sentiment gone? (I hasten to add I am not including Christian Death Metal is not included in this equitation as my team of secular scientists are still working out the 1.4 billion contradictions it holds). The Knights of the New Crusade perform their music with a level of homicidal vim and rock action that would even make the good lord himself throw up the horns. Clad in medieval garb (right down to saintly helmets) they make blistering 60s style garage rock with a heavy dose of holy influence. Songs like “My Way is the Highway” and “e is still evil” deliver patently sincere and insane messages over a driving Sonics/Cramps style groove. The quality of the music and production is impressively reminiscent of the “Nuggets” style garage records. It’s only when an occasional blast of mutant guitar noise (like the Melvins or megakronkel) hits you in the solar plexus that you realise this thing wasn’t cut into wax before you were born. The vocals are priceless with the singer spitting out such priceless phrases as “driving down the highway of Jesus in the hotrod of your soul” and other such bible thumping non sequiturs. The more I listen to this band the harder I find it to decide whether it’s a piss-take or a genuine entreaty to rock your sins away. This feel good album often reaches the comedic heights of genuine titles such as “dropkick me Jesus through the goalposts of life”. Sure as much as it wants to it probably won’t change your life like it wants to but it makes a great sound track to messing around. Beware though some of the lyrics may offend more sensitive listeners (One song is about how George Harrison has gone to hell for loving Hare Krishna) and the highly devout (who may mistake the directness for humour). For the rest of us though this attempt to get the masses to get their Christ on is great fun and exactly the type of humour music seems to be sorely lacking lately. Here endeth the lesson, amen.
Christian music is generally awful. Usually I try not to take out the sweeping statement broom but this trip to the cupboard is entirely justified. Being the musical explorer that both of the regular readers of this column know me, I have sampled a fair lot of jesus-centric music in my time. It has to be said though, these incidences occurred mostly against my own free will. #i have many friends who (rather ironically) swear by this music. I however find it to be, in my faithless estimation, usually a saccharine or cynical exploitation of Christian’s deeply held beliefs. It appears all you have to do is take your 12 worst songs, replace the words “baby” and “girl” with “Jesus” and “lord” and you’ve got yourself a genuine cross-clutching hit record. This music is usually so lame and namby pamby that it could be construed. Lame bands like Creed and switchfoot make crappy derivative music their syrupy God-as-my-Girlfriend attempts at grabbing the mainstream turn as many people off religion as it does on. When has the fire and brimstone of truly kick-ass Christian sentiment gone? (I hasten to add I am not including Christian Death Metal is not included in this equitation as my team of secular scientists are still working out the 1.4 billion contradictions it holds). The Knights of the New Crusade perform their music with a level of homicidal vim and rock action that would even make the good lord himself throw up the horns. Clad in medieval garb (right down to saintly helmets) they make blistering 60s style garage rock with a heavy dose of holy influence. Songs like “My Way is the Highway” and “e is still evil” deliver patently sincere and insane messages over a driving Sonics/Cramps style groove. The quality of the music and production is impressively reminiscent of the “Nuggets” style garage records. It’s only when an occasional blast of mutant guitar noise (like the Melvins or megakronkel) hits you in the solar plexus that you realise this thing wasn’t cut into wax before you were born. The vocals are priceless with the singer spitting out such priceless phrases as “driving down the highway of Jesus in the hotrod of your soul” and other such bible thumping non sequiturs. The more I listen to this band the harder I find it to decide whether it’s a piss-take or a genuine entreaty to rock your sins away. This feel good album often reaches the comedic heights of genuine titles such as “dropkick me Jesus through the goalposts of life”. Sure as much as it wants to it probably won’t change your life like it wants to but it makes a great sound track to messing around. Beware though some of the lyrics may offend more sensitive listeners (One song is about how George Harrison has gone to hell for loving Hare Krishna) and the highly devout (who may mistake the directness for humour). For the rest of us though this attempt to get the masses to get their Christ on is great fun and exactly the type of humour music seems to be sorely lacking lately. Here endeth the lesson, amen.
