"Humanity 101 textbook for a robot university" - The Apple Genius training manual (1 Viewer)

[pete]

Negativity is the mortal sin of the Genius. Disagreement is prohibited, as are a litany of normal human tendencies outlined on page 80, which contradict the virtue of empathy: consoling, commiserating, sympathizing, and taking blame are all verboten. Correcting a mistaken or confused customer should be accomplished using the phrase "turns out," which Apple says "takes you out of the middle of an issue," and also makes the truth seem like something that just arrived serendipitously. For example, on page 82:

Customer: The OS isn't supported.
Genius: You'd think not, wouldn't you. Turns out it is supported in this version.
​

This is really just an advanced, Apple judo version of the customer is always right. But then there's the list of words that just straight up aren't allowed, on page 30. The manual explains that "AppleCare's legal counsel has defined [these] terms that should be avoided when discussing product issues with customers."

Did your computer crash? No, it "stops responding." Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there's an "issue," "condition," or simply "situation."
You don't "eliminate" a problem—you "reduce" it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they're "warm."

Switching "disaster" out for "error" might make sense to calm down a panicky client, but most of this is a straight up whitewash, the sterilization of language that could very well be accurate for a given problem. Sometimes there are bugs, laptops do run hot, and laptops crash.

http://gizmodo.com/5938323/how-to-be-a-genius-this-is-apples-secret-employee-training-manual