Homework (1 Viewer)

[Anthony]

Any thoughts on helping kids with homework?
I help mine with their homework but I really want to knock that off before they start to rely on it. Homework can drag on for up to 2 hrs when I know that if they concentrated it could be done in 20 mins. What's the secret here?
Also, I don't recall ever getting help with homework, it was just 'Go to your room and come out when it was finished'.
Are we all being namby pamby with kids these days and raising kids that can't do anything themselves? Tempted to just go cold turkey and let them get in trouble for not doing it for a few days/weeks.
I know we have some teachers here.

 

[pete]

not at that stage yet, but the biggest problem i'd have with helping out is being stupid

 

[ogy]

i think the point of homework is to build confidence. the idea is, in class the teacher shows you how to do something, then gets you to do it with their help, then gets you to do it on your own with them still in the room. Homework is to show that when you get home you can do it on your own and that you still remember how to do it, to build confidence basically.

the problem is if a teacher didn't get to fully explain something but gave the planned homework anyway, or the homework set is more difficult than what was done in class, or the teacher didn't realise that everyone in the class didn't get it yet.

i wouldn't say there's anything wrong with 'helping' with homework, as long as its not just doing the work for them. if someone doesn't understand something its unfair to ask them to do it without help, it just builds frustration with the subject/homework in general. Maybe don't sit with them but be available to help if needed. And the kind of help should be, 'check your book/notes, have a read of this, look at what your teacher said here, heres how you do this one now you try the next one...'.

if its just a matter of not wanting to do it I would say the first step would be constructively explaining how important it is to have homework done, that they wouldn't want to fall behind in school or get in trouble etc.
next thing i'd try would be making a ritual out of it, having a set time and space for homework, get drinks and snacks ready, making sure there's no computer games/tv/phone/distractions. Have some kind of simple reward when its all done, make deals about tv time, game time, whatever, in relation to homework time, no homework=no deal kind of thing. you don't have to be mean about it just reasonable/fair/matter of fact.
if its still ignored then you'd have to try restricting things like being allowed play games/sports/watch tv etc. after homework time/at weekends. although you can still do this in a reasonable/fair way always with an explanation about fairness/respect.etc. If all else fails you could try letting them get into trouble, but maybe you could tell the teacher your plans first, ask them for advice on motivation etc.
The whole idea isn't that you bribe your kid into doing homework forever, just get them going, build a little habit, then after a while it should continue itself, kids self confidence, pride in work and desire to keep up the benefits of having homework done eventually takes over (hopefully!).

Jesus christ I've turned into the anti-craic! But I think it comes down to getting them to realise than a decent hour of getting stuck in means a fun afternoon after that of being able to do all the other stuff they want to do, rather than having a battle of wills with you for 2 hours or more.

(i'm not a parent but for what its worth i'm a nearly qualified teacher, so if any of this is unrealistic/idealistic you and other parents probably know better than me!)

 

[egg_]

Deals for doing homework? Sounds kinda mad - I'd have thought doing homework was just non-negotiable, like brushing your teeth

I hear ya on the dragging-things-out Anthony. Homework's already done when I get home from work, but I always do a bit of reading with Isabelle before bed and very often it'll take her half an hour when it'd take 5 mins if she actually, y'know, DID IT rather than pissing around trying not to do it. In fairness I remember doing the exact same when I was a kid, probably took me until my 30s before I got any way good at doing shit I don't feel like doing

 

[dudley]

homework is a load of bollocks, i'll just be sending notes in with lily to her teachers expressing same

 

[egg_]

And if the homework gets you down/We'll throw it on the fire and take the car downtown

(that won't be happening in my house, btw - all homework will be done! Practising is how you get good at things)

 

[Goodbye]

The reward for doing homework should be: not getting in trouble.

 

[ogy]

Deals for doing homework? Sounds kinda mad - I'd have thought doing homework was just non-negotiable, like brushing your teeth

i get where your coming from, but that depends on an awful lot. what happens if you get point blank refusal? i.e. they call your bluff? where do you go from there? as i said im not a parent so i'm maybe a bit idealistic about such matters but surely positive motivation is a good place to start? im not saying "i'll give you a fiver if you do your homework", i mean explaining "if you get your homework done, you'll be able to spend an hour playing x-box/tv/whatever...". i think i'd want to avoid authoritarian style insistance at all costs, cos surely that just breeds contempt and sets up conflict.
ideally you'd have a relationship with your child where not risking your disappointment with them would be enough to motivate them, but obviously that's something that needs work and time for lots of people.

 

[ogy]

The reward for doing homework should be: not getting in trouble

so why do lots of kids do things that get them in to trouble all the time?

for a secondary school kid, 9 x 40 minute classes plus 2 hours homework every single day is an awful lot to ask! We at least owe them reasonable explanations as to why its important, make it as comfortable for them to do as possible, help where needed, and acknowledge their hard work with some kind of reward.

 

[ann post]

I'm my experience of teaching my students one on one, when i think they have the idea but are just "dragging-things-out" i make them the teacher, and ask them to show me how to do it. somewhere about 10 years old this stops working.

 

[Goodbye]

so why do lots of kids do things that get them in to trouble all the time?

for a secondary school kid, 9 x 40 minute classes plus 2 hours homework every single day is an awful lot to ask! We at least owe them reasonable explanations as to why its important, make it as comfortable for them to do as possible, help where needed, and acknowledge their hard work with some kind of reward.

Way to miss the point there, fair play

 

[ogy]

sorry misunderstood your post

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

so why do lots of kids do things that get them in to trouble all the time?

for a secondary school kid, 9 x 40 minute classes plus 2 hours homework every single day is an awful lot to ask! We at least owe them reasonable explanations as to why its important, make it as comfortable for them to do as possible, help where needed, and acknowledge their hard work with some kind of reward.

Reward nothing,homework's gotta be done whether they like it or not.

 

[Lili Marlene]

Reward nothing,homework's gotta be done whether they like it or not.

DOWN WITH HOMEWORK

Yah, boo!

 

[Anthony]

I agree that homework must be done and in fairness my lads have grasped that. Anytime there's hassle and we might give them the choice of not doing it as long as they're prepared to explain themselves to the teacher the next day they always opt to do the work.
I think I'm looking for thoughts on the bigger picture. I know some parents that are still helping their kids in secondary school up to 5 hours a night! Top me, that's not doing anyone any favours.

 

[Goodbye]

Christ, are they going to sit their exams for them as well?

 

[shower another shower]

Junior cert at the moment Anthony. Loads of help. 3-4hrs a day.
Normal homework...He does it own his own, then its checked for mistakes.

 

[SomethingManic]

Parent's should take an interest in their kids homework, and help out sometimes if their kid is stuck. I'd say it's good for bonding.

 

[snakybus]

Anthony, I'd say that putting in the work now, like you're doing, will actually prevent you from having to act as a crutch when they're older. You're the best judge of when's the right time to take the support away for each kid, but I'd say that establishing a set homework time as part of their routine would go a long ways towards helping you do this. Nora hasn't started doing homework yet (doesn't start till first class in her school, which I think is good) so I might be talking through my arse, but anyway.

 

[egg_]

for a secondary school kid, 9 x 40 minute classes plus 2 hours homework every single day is an awful lot to ask!

For a 39 year old man, 37.5 hours in work a week, plus commuting, plus countless domestic chores during evenings/weekends is a lot to ask.

Everyone has to do an awful lot of stuff they don't feel like doing. Best get used to it, daughters of mine