CV advice (1 Viewer)

[guy of the tiger]

what were you doing for these extended periods? just on the dole like?

How have yiz explained away (if youve bothered trying to explain it away) extended periods of idleness on yr CV?

have you had to follow it up with inventive answers to tricky questions at interviews?

all replies will be read in confidentiality.
(everyone dont look at who has written what on this thread)

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

what were you doing for these extended periods? just on the dole like?

No, I was fighting in Angola where I was in charge of a unit of 245 men. It was my reponsibility to ensure the daily quota of looting, raping and pillaging was met. The experience exposed me to concepts and ideas that were new to me and served to enhance my analytical and team-leading capabilities. I will use the managment skills I aquired to ensure the team completes all tasks efficiently and thoroughly.

 

[Bag'o'cans]

Your career fell between two stools so to say but moving forward ....... yak idee yak don't talk back

 

[chutneyfarmer]

How have yiz explained away (if youve bothered trying to explain it away) extended periods of idleness on yr CV?

have you had to follow it up with inventive answers to tricky questions at interviews?

all replies will be read in confidentiality.
(everyone dont look at who has written what on this thread)

Wow, weird! I was just thinking the exact same thing. Been unemployed for 6 months now and dunno what i'll say if they ask me what I've been doing! By the way, does anyone know of any jobs going? And i mean ANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[guy of the tiger]

No, I was fighting in Angola where I was in charge of a unit of 245 men. It was my reponsibility to ensure the daily quota of looting, raping and pillaging was met. The experience exposed me to concepts and ideas that were new to me and served to enhance my analytical and team-leading capabilities. I will use the managment skills I aquired to ensure the team completes all tasks efficiently and thoroughly.

ok well I'd just be honest. Try to play down the raping and the fighting though.

 

[BC]

sounds like the time i got spiked with PCP.
Nasty.

ketamine is very chemically similar to pcp. they have a very similar effect also, however ketamine paralyses the body intensely where pcp does not. although ketamine is often refered to as "horse tranquilizer" (which is true, but misleading), it -and pcp- were originally designed for use as anaesthetics for humans. in fact, ketamine is still used in this - and many other - countries as an anaesthetic for young children and occassionally very elderly patients. it was discontinued in use on adult patients here (although it is still used widely in certain third-world countries) due to what was called "emergence phenomenon", a term used for the intense and often distrubing hallucinogenic states brought on by ketamine (as an aside, there is a theory that the high number of people having "near-death-experiences" during surgical proceedures many years ago was due to the use of ketamine, since the drug in anaesthetic doses completely triggers the classic "near-death-experience"). it is assumed that the very young and the very old do not experience these states, in fact they do, its just they are not capable of describing or complaining about it. ketamine is very occassionally perscribed to adults for severe migraine headaches, but only after all other possible medications have been tried. finally, ketamine is a very common adulterant in "ecstacy" pills. users of "ecstasy" - particuarly very regular users - will have or most likely experience the "k-hole", being a state of hallucinogenic sensory deprivation and physical paralysis which is most unwanted and disturbing, especially in a situation like a nightclub or rave.

 

[BC]

Wow, weird! I was just thinking the exact same thing. Been unemployed for 6 months now and dunno what i'll say if they ask me what I've been doing! By the way, does anyone know of any jobs going? And i mean ANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eer, yes, same here. i need work.

 

[Charlie Bucket]

ketamine is very chemically similar to pcp. they have a very similar effect also, however ketamine paralyses the body intensely where pcp does not. although ketamine is often refered to as "horse tranquilizer" (which is true, but misleading), it -and pcp- were originally designed for use as anaesthetics for humans. in fact, ketamine is still used in this - and many other - countries as an anaesthetic for young children and occassionally very elderly patients.....finally, ketamine is a very common adulterant in "ecstacy" pills. users of "ecstasy" - particuarly very regular users - will have or most likely experience the "k-hole", being a state of hallucinogenic sensory deprivation and physical paralysis which is most unwanted and disturbing, especially in a situation like a nightclub or rave.

the after fx lasted for about 2 weeks. on the night in question i found it very difficult to walk home. then i was on an emotional rollercoaster for a fortnight. i didnt know what had happened till a few days later when my friend, who was also spiked, came back from a holiday (hellish) and her brother told her that loads of people had their drinks spiked that night in that particular nighclub.

 

[billygannon]

No, I was fighting in Angola where I was in charge of a unit of 245 men. It was my reponsibility to ensure the daily quota of looting, raping and pillaging was met. The experience exposed me to concepts and ideas that were new to me and served to enhance my analytical and team-leading capabilities. I will use the managment skills I aquired to ensure the team completes all tasks efficiently and thoroughly.

Well, apparently Ross Kemp is leaving Ultimate Force to go back to Eastenders. You could apply for this vacancy.

 

[BC]

the after fx lasted for about 2 weeks. on the night in question i found it very difficult to walk home. then i was on an emotional rollercoaster for a fortnight. i didnt know what had happened till a few days later when my friend, who was also spiked, came back from a holiday (hellish) and her brother told her that loads of people had their drinks spiked that night in that particular nighclub.

i am so sorry to hear that happened to you and your friends. i think spiking someone is one of the worst things that can be done, i'd consider it to be a form of severe assault. hope you are all well now though, thats a hell of a trauma.

 

[spiritualtramp]

No, I was fighting in Angola where I was in charge of a unit of 245 men.

Miss Piggy causes war in Angola!!!


sorry, in-joke between myself and Tom

 

[Charlie Bucket]

i am so sorry to hear that happened to you and your friends. i think spiking someone is one of the worst things that can be done, i'd consider it to be a form of severe assault. hope you are all well now though, thats a hell of a trauma.

yeah it was hardcore. all good now tho. thanks man.