Childhood experiences you never recovered from (2 Viewers)

[ernesto]

this bastarding neighbour kid pushed the drain closed over my toe when i had just gotten me ping pong ball out from in it.
bastard. ended up getting an ingrown toenail on the toe anyway.
wish i had lost it.

stupid toe.

 

[rettucs]

What's your beef with me having a plaque?? I only want a little one

plaques cost money. Taxpayers money. You can rob a marker out of a stationery cupboard

 

[Cara]

plaques cost money. Taxpayers money. You can rob a marker out of a stationery cupboard

I still want a plaque....

 

[rettucs]

I still want a plaque....

ok, if you want it that badly......

 

[La La]

i was about 6. we were over in ireland visiting for the summer and went to glendalough. mum told me i was only allowed paddle at the edge because there was a monster in the middle of the lake that would suck me under and eat me.
so i thought grand - i'll happily stay here where i am.

five mins later she's off making sandwiches and dad decides he's gonna go for a dip.

the scene i recall is dad lazily swimming towards the middle of the lake while I stood fixed to the spot at the edge of the lake - on my own - wailing and bawling with fear he was going to be eaten.

 

[mark]

I fell in to a slurry pit when i was 5.

as a child growing up in the country, that was my absolute worst nightmare.

 

[avernus]

i was about 6. we were over in ireland visiting for the summer and went to glendalough. mum told me i was only allowed paddle at the edge because there was a monster in the middle of the lake that would suck me under and eat me.
so i thought grand - i'll happily stay here where i am.

five mins later she's off making sandwiches and dad decides he's gonna go for a dip.

the scene i recall is dad lazily swimming towards the middle of the lake while I stood fixed to the spot at the edge of the lake - on my own - wailing and bawling with fear he was going to be eaten.

wow. your poor dad. did they catch the giant lake monster?



some kid in my neighbourhood dropped his pants and started fiddling with his child shlong to the entire road of kids. we were climbing through a building site, on the scaffolding when we looked down at the commotion. it was disturbing. then some kid pointed and shouted "LOOK AT THE PURPLE BALL!" then the touchy kid's mother came running, slapped his bare ass and dragged him off wailing crying.

the 90s were a strange time for us all.

 

[snakybus]

wow. your poor dad. did they catch the giant lake monster?



some kid in my neighbourhood dropped his pants and started fiddling with his child shlong to the entire road of kids. we were climbing through a building site, on the scaffolding when we looked down at the commotion. it was disturbing. then some kid pointed and shouted "LOOK AT THE PURPLE BALL!" then the touchy kid's mother came running, slapped his bare ass and dragged him off wailing crying.

the 90s were a strange time for us all.

ah we were at that back in the '80s too


...ahem, I mean, some other kids I knew were

 

[avernus]

ah we were at that back in the '80s too


...ahem, I mean, some other kids I knew were

public self interference can have a dangerous reflection on the parents. not that we thought about it like that - we were kids. we just thought - 'hey, that kid is a creep. kill it!'

 

[Jill Hives]

I just thought of another one.... when I was younger and at an intersection with my dad he would say, "Be a suitcase!" This meant I was to bend over and he'd pick me up by my belt loops to get across the road fast. I was too little to reach his hand.

 

[Rachel666]

i had a friend, let's call her Tina, when i was 11. she was the absolute biggest scumbag ever. (i was going through a phase where i'd be friends with people i didn't like.). she once told me when she was young, her little sisters nappy was being changed and a lump of poop fell out and rolled onto the couch where she was innocently eating a lion bar. Tina naturally picked it up and ate it for a bit but realised her error and was quite sick.

one weekend i was invited to stay at her house. we went to the swimming pool where her and her sister tried to drown me, several times, until eventually i pretended to be dead. they were really angry that i did this (??) and i pointed out that they were more or less trying to kill me but they said, in fairness, i was being a bad sport. anyway, we went back to Tina's where everyone in her house lived off super noodles and tinned hot dogs; even the dog. A lovely white little ball of fluff who as he walked by my legs burped and got sick noodles and hotdogs everywhere. we were in her sisters room and noticed a bad smell, on further inspection, there was an old grey linty noodely pile of dog sick under the bed.
throughout the night they tried to make me engage in starting on their neighbours with them by standing in the garden and shouting. (everyone in her family did this)
4 of us slept in a double bed, including a toddler who's pee i woke up in. tina's older sister came in a threw a used sanitary towel at my head. they told me to stop over reacting when i kicked up a fuss.
when i went home i told my mam that tina was sound and everything but i we didn't really have too much in common and i didn't really want to hang out with her anymore....!ninjaaaa

 

[avernus]

i had a friend, let's call her Tina, when i was 11. she was the absolute biggest scumbag ever. (i was going through a phase where i'd be friends with people i didn't like.). she once told me when she was young, her little sisters nappy was being changed and a lump of poop fell out and rolled onto the couch where she was innocently eating a lion bar. Tina naturally picked it up and ate it for a bit but realised her error and was quite sick.

one weekend i was invited to stay at her house. we went to the swimming pool where her and her sister tried to drown me, several times, until eventually i pretended to be dead. they were really angry that i did this (??) and i pointed out that they were more or less trying to kill me but they said, in fairness, i was being a bad sport. anyway, we went back to Tina's where everyone in her house lived off super noodles and tinned hot dogs; even the dog. A lovely white little ball of fluff who as he walked by my legs burped and got sick noodles and hotdogs everywhere. we were in her sisters room and noticed a bad smell, on further inspection, there was an old grey linty noodely pile of dog sick under the bed.
throughout the night they tried to make me engage in starting on their neighbours with them by standing in the garden and shouting. (everyone in her family did this)
4 of us slept in a double bed, including a toddler who's pee i woke up in. tina's older sister came in a threw a used sanitary towel at my head. they told me to stop over reacting when i kicked up a fuss.
when i went home i told my mam that tina was sound and everything but i we didn't really have too much in common and i didn't really want to hang out with her anymore....!ninjaaaa

that reminds me of when I went to stay with this friend of mine from primary school down in their mobile home down the country. his family were nice, but he was a prick - which only became evident during this séjour in hell. one night he took my gorilla slippers and put them down his pants. I told him he could fuckin keep em, the sick bastard. later, he told me that my family were probably dead and I wouldn't find out til I got home. now I didn't believe this to be so, but the horror of them being dead coupled with the horror of having spent a nightmare few days with this rotten bastard made me close to a convulsive vomit. yes. this surely was the end of our "friendship". that rat cunt!

I forget what other shit he did or whatever happened to him.. but I think he may have become some sort of maniac flesh eating sexual predator. I can't be quite sure.

 

[Sweetie]

as a child growing up in the country, that was my absolute worst nightmare.

my parents were in mortal fear of slurry pits. And all farm related accidents. (sadly a neighbour died in a combine harvester at 14)

Slurry pits are lethal.

When I was nine my friend had a pony.We both were put up on it bareback. The pony saw some cows and bolted across the farmyard, sending us tumbling off the back onto a surface of pure shit. I was wet through. It was gross. The family were one of those "oh pull yourself together, it's just a little fall" however I was tiny and hurt and embarrassed. I just remember getting no sympathy and being laughed at. Morto.

 

[Lungs]

- Out fishing with my dad when I was pretty young, he went to cast off or whatever, and the hook got stuck in my thumb. Whenever I'm walking along the canal here and there's people fishing I have to work hard to suppress the urge to sprint past them.

- Thrusting a bamboo stick into my right eye when I was 3 effectively blinding myself in that eye. Nice one.

-I was reminded by Michelle's story up above about the time I put my elbow in my younger brother's shit-filled nappy. Yum.

-In 3rd class, gettting caught drawing a pamphlet on ways to torture my teacher including cutting off his "pride and joy" and running him over with a steamroller. I was a nice kid. I was brought to the principal's office and sent home early. I remember him driving me home, I was bawling but he seemed pretty amused.

 

[Rachel666]

-In 3rd class, gettting caught drawing a pamphlet on ways to torture my teacher including cutting off his "pride and joy" and running him over with a steamroller. I was a nice kid. I was brought to the principal's office and sent home early. I remember him driving me home, I was bawling but he seemed pretty amused.

on that sort of tone, when i was at my cousins when we were little we had a piece of paper and wrote "sex" and "willies" on it, threw it in the bin after. my aunt found it and called my parents saying she was absolutely disgusted at this and that her wee chaps would never do anything like that, so it was all definitely me. my parents gave me a horrific time over it. but not as bad as the time i asked a doctor did he ever have to stick his hands up peoples bums. (i was genuinely curious and he just laughed, so there was absolutely no problem) my parents were so mean that i hid in my cotton barbie tent in the garden all day, crying, until night came when i snuck upstairs and hid in a cupboard, still crying. my brother would come and sneak me emeralds and tell me that they were still mad at me, but that he was impressed. after that i just started being bold on purpose

 

[puppetmonkey]

surprised no one else has put this up ... but how many have suffered the immortal shame of calling your primary teacher "Mammy"? I was the first in my class to do it and i got a bollocking from all the other mean kids for it.

 

[Jill Hives]

surprised no one else has put this up ... but how many have suffered the immortal shame of calling your primary teacher "Mammy"? I was the first in my class to do it and i got a bollocking from all the other mean kids for it.

How about dating the health teachers son and having to sit through her explaining how the body works and sex. Granted surrounded by 30 other students but she was directing it toward you. Wait, you all probably don't have these classes here. I was 14 and mortified.

 

[Cara]

I remember when I moved schools when I was about 8 or nine. The school I had been in previously was tiny, we all called our teachers by their first names, we chose the work we'd do for the day, really laid back, but a fantastic school. Then I moved to this all girls school where the classes were massive and it was so scary. My first day we were doing some reading or something and the class was really quiet, and I really needed to cough, but I was to scared to. So i kept it in, but started choking instead. The teacher took me outside because she thought I was crying and rang my parents.

 

[Charlie Bucket]

when i was a little fella one winter i was out the back of the house near a patio type thing and what do i see but lots of puddles that obviously need jumping in. so i go to hop in one expecting a satisfying splash - only to find out that the puddle is frozen! cue my legs flying from under me swiftly followed by my head crackin on the ice. cue concussion/hospital/x rays/lucozade. actually its not an experience i've never recovered from but i've been wary of pretend puddles ever since.

...and then there was the time i got stuck to the telegraph pole....