Bullsh1t Theory of the Day (1 Viewer)

[sparse]

My theory for the day, bullsh1t or not is:


I reckon that the US army's claims of rescuing Jessica Lynch is all bullsh1t. When her convoy was ambushed why wasn't she shown on TV like the others? and also if she has two broken legs, a broken arm and at least one gunshot wound, why is her face perfectly ok? surly somewhere along the line of all this brutality would she not have gotten a scrap on da face?

I reckon it's all sh1t, what do you think?

Sky News Propaganda

 

[mark]

was thinking about this this morning. found myself getting quite cynical because she is a not unattractive 19 year old. i reckon she was 'found' as opposed to 'rescued' if anything. that article is pretty vomit inducing.

 

[Anthony]

What's all this about?

 

[sparse]

Read between the lines man.....the lines!

Don't beleive the hype, man. Are you part of the problem or the solution, eh?

 

[Speed Racer]

I've read between the lines man, and it says:
"We needed a miracle to get the news media off our back and stop them asking us difficult questions. Hang on, rescue a Hero."

 

[Psychotic no 2]

"America doesn't leave its heroes behind. Never has. Never will."


GAG

 

[The Chilli King]

Poor prom queen flunking everything exept home ec. Can't get a college place because she screwed up her SAT's so she join the army to hone her catering skills. Yep, that's the stuff heroes are made of.



Yet the marine in American Idol is still singing, 'I don't wanna miss a thing' in front of the nation to rapturous applause.

 

[kstop]

I don't know about conspiracy theories, and I'm probably being sexist, but the image of a bunch of besuited old men sending a 19-yr-old girl to war is pretty disgusting. (Not as bad as Marines machine-gunning a car full of children and then claiming a right to "self-defence" though.)

On the plus side, the blitzkrieg seems to be going better for them, so there's less chance they'll just say fuckit and nuke a division, which is about as nice as it gets these days.

 

[Yurn!]

Wasn't she on the grassy knoll?

 

[sparse]

Originally posted by mark
i reckon she was 'found' as opposed to 'rescued' if anything.

She was probably on a mission trying to run around in heels and that's how she suffered the two broken legs and they only found her because of her wineing, "oh my poor feet"

 

[Speed Racer]

No, no, no ....they found her sitting at a table, drinking tea, in perfect health. They found the other dead guys and thought, "We've gotta turn this situation into a triumph for America".
The general turns to poor dim Jessica,

"Would you like to be the rescued Hero honey? And be on every News channel in the World?"

Jessica: "...Well ok then. What do I have to do?"

General: "Ok, just put down that tea there and hold still while we break your legs for America."

Jessica: "...Wait a minute, I'm having second thoughts..."

General (Now swinging a Sledge Hammer) "AMERICA NEVER LEAVES ITS HEROES BEHIND!"

Thud!..CRACK!.......Followed by "Aaaaghhhh!"







......could have happened like. Who knows.

 

[The Chilli King]

Originally posted by kstop
and I'm probably being sexist, but the image of a bunch of besuited old men sending a 19-yr-old girl to war is pretty disgusting.

it's great that little girls can kill people alongside little boys but this really does leave a bad taste in your mouth- especially the way she's now being used to rally up a sense of patriotism - she really couldn't be any more all-american looking. Starship Troopers anybody?

 

[Burgerbarbaby]

Originally posted by Speed Racer

"Would you like to be the rescued Hero honey? And be on every News channel in the World?"

Jessica: "...Well ok then. What do I have to do?"

General: "Ok, just put down that tea there and hold still while we break your legs for America."

Jessica: "...Wait a minute, I'm having second thoughts..."

General (Now swinging a Sledge Hammer) "AMERICA NEVER LEAVES ITS HEROES BEHIND!"

Thud!..CRACK!.......Followed by "Aaaaghhhh!"

......could have happened like. Who knows.

Ha ha ha! Class! I can picture someone looking like Michael Palin swinging the hammer, completely oblivious to all logic or sense, consumed with patriotic frevour. And his hat all wobbling around.

Oh and I'll have a plate of Starship Troopers please.
With a side of Wag The Dog.

 

[Goodbye]

Originally posted by Burgerbarbaby
[B With a side of Wag The Dog. [/B]

I was just going to say that, yeh prick

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Speaking of which, how's that Sleater-Kinney albumn treating ya, BBB? I'd PM you, but you're all filled up.

 

[LMD64]

um, has anyone else noticed that there appears to be one of those twisted balloon animals being carried over her face? what other terrifyingly lethal skills are these crack Marines trained in? Martial Macramé? Projectile Papier Maché? Combatative Crochet? be afraid, be very afraid...

 

[Burgerbarbaby]

Originally posted by GrRrrrR
Speaking of which, how's that Sleater-Kinney albumn treating ya, BBB? I'd PM you, but you're all filled up.

Stop hassling me man. I'm trying to sleep here.

 

[kmastering]

I do her though, broken legs or not

 

[LMD64]

Originally posted by Psychotic no 2
"America doesn't leave its heroes behind. Never has. Never will."

wait a mo', America never DOES leave their heroes behind. No, what gets left behind is the small pool of grease and fluids that used to be Cpl. Dwayne Doohickey, from Bumfucksville, Nebraska. You can't arrange a tickertape parade for your heroes, if they're mush. People just don't connect to heroic soldiers when they're brought home in a jamjar, so it makes sense to bring home the ones who are still breathing.

It helps even more if they're Grade-A top class totty.

hummana, hummana, hummana, schwwing-ga!

 

[silo]

apparently the iraqis (or, if you're george w., the iraqians) left private scha-wing in a hospital (probably thinking 'two broken legs, she's not really going to do a runner') and the americans came in and 'rescued' her from this unarmed civilian hospital ward. and then imply that she was in some kind of secret underground lair or something...