Blame it on the kid (1 Viewer)

[portrid]

Most over-used excuse to get out of social engagements such as hockey meets or coffee/Ann Summers mornings: "I'd love to go but, you know, the kid".

Most of the time it's genuine though. I've missed about a squillion gigs, films etc over the last while. Must try harder to be a shit Dad.

 

[flashback]

its sort of a relief in a way.

I used to not drink because I was training on the bike and it would mess me up for a day or two. Its nice, you're sitting there and inevitably people start getting on your case about not drinking. So you agree with them, and pretend like its a huge sacrifice, but you'll struggle through. Oh yeah, jesus, I'd *love* a pint of that shitty looking Heineken.

Same thing with the new baby now.
Sorry, baby! But when you say I don't want to hang around shit NYC bars with fashionistas, dicks or hipsters, drinking stuff you dont really like out of dirty glasses and tipping / scrumming to the bar for the privalige, and then arriving home destroyed and usless with tiredness, and that you'd rather relax in your gaff watching TV, you can come off like an asshole.

 

[flashback]

incidentally, its the same thing with vegetarianism I've noticed.
Some one needs to come up with a canned excuse for that.

The people inquiring suddenly become 4 years old. It smashes the conception of reality for some reason.

Oh do you not eat meat?! Why don't you eat meat?


Why?


.... Why?

...



...Why?




Because I don't feel like it you cunt. Leave me. The fuck. Alone.

 

[Goodbye]

But... What do you eat?????????

 

[billygannon]

incidentally, its the same thing with vegetarianism I've noticed.
Some one needs to come up with a canned excuse for that.

The people inquiring suddenly become 4 years old. It smashes the conception of reality for some reason.

Oh do you not eat meat?! Why don't you eat meat?


Why?


.... Why?

...



...Why?




Because I don't feel like it you cunt. Leave me. The fuck. Alone.

Since when did you stop eating meat? Other than cock, of course.

 

[flashback]

Since when did you stop eating meat? Other than cock, of course.

Ah no, I'm not a proper veggie at all. I used to go off it for a year and then eat some meat, and then back off for a while. Its just something I noticed. As soon as you it that slip, people start freaking out. So I would try to keep it as quiet as I could.

Its just when I'm by myself or doing the cooking I'll be veggie. Or if there is an option if we are eating somewhere.
But the missus is a carnivore so over the last while I'm slacking on that front.

Even cycling into work blows people's minds here, they think I'm a) mental, b) too poor for a car or c) fitness freak. Even my wife's work friends (who've seen me about 4 times ever) will ask her about it, and regale themselves about the time that I cycled to their Christmas party one time, and howl with laughter about the whole thing.
The fact that its better in every way doesn't enter into it.

I just get annoyed being asked the same thing over and over, day in day out, if its any way against the norm.

 

[flashback]

Since when did you stop eating meat? Other than cock, of course.

hahaha, here, someone modded you down for that post.

I should mod you down as well, for being such a scoundrel.

Anyway, I smoke cock. Accuracy where it counts.

 

[Wilbert]

incidentally, its the same thing with vegetarianism I've noticed.
Some one needs to come up with a canned excuse for that.

The people inquiring suddenly become 4 years old. It smashes the conception of reality for some reason.

Oh do you not eat meat?! Why don't you eat meat?


Why?


.... Why?

...



...Why?




Because I don't feel like it you cunt. Leave me. The fuck. Alone.

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[GO]

I've the opposite problem.Have to miss shit because of herself.Headwrecker.

 

[jonah]

I wish I had a kid to blame stuff on. It'd be great, I'd never have to feel guilty about anything and...and I'd have someone I'd force to love me.. oh wait, this isn't the meeting people thread at all, is it?

I'll have to use and abuse the vegetarianism so.

 

[billygannon]

Ah no, I'm not a proper veggie at all. I used to go off it for a year and then eat some meat, and then back off for a while. Its just something I noticed. As soon as you it that slip, people start freaking out. So I would try to keep it as quiet as I could.

Its just when I'm by myself or doing the cooking I'll be veggie. Or if there is an option if we are eating somewhere.
But the missus is a carnivore so over the last while I'm slacking on that front.

Even cycling into work blows people's minds here, they think I'm a) mental, b) too poor for a car or c) fitness freak. Even my wife's work friends (who've seen me about 4 times ever) will ask her about it, and regale themselves about the time that I cycled to their Christmas party one time, and howl with laughter about the whole thing.
The fact that its better in every way doesn't enter into it.

I just get annoyed being asked the same thing over and over, day in day out, if its any way against the norm.

I get the same where I'm working. The South of England is pretty much Daily Mail land.

 

[egg_]

Possible reasons for this sort of behaviour:

1. Your quirks are just something to talk about. The talkers don't give a flying fuck about you one way or the other

2. They feel mildly threatened by your non-conformism, and want to confirm that you are, in fact, a weirdo so they can safely hate you

3. Your non-conformism is kinda inspiring, and talking to you about it encourages them to consider how they live their own lives

How likely is number 3?

 

[thairock]

I don't have a kid but I have used the dog as an excuse once or twice , but mostly now days when invited out or anything social like that I am usually honest and say , " Look , I wont say yeah , cause , truthfully I probably wont go .I'm not very social , nothing personal - but I appreciate the invite" etc.

New people think I'm having a laugh but after a while everyone accepts it just fine.

 

[flashback]

How likely is number 3?

You've read some of my posts on Thumped, right?

 

[plug]

after having a kid for a year and whatever I finally understand why my dad
always made me mow the lawn twice a week with a push lawnmower during
the summer: revenge

I've never actually used the kid as an excuse to get out of stuff; seems like a
useful fringe benefit though. ironically enough, I'll be spending my weekdays
in dublin from this week onward so I probably won't get the chance now! at
least I'll be able to go to more gigs...

 

[nooleen]

incidentally, its the same thing with vegetarianism I've noticed.
Some one needs to come up with a canned excuse for that.

The people inquiring suddenly become 4 years old. It smashes the conception of reality for some reason.

Oh do you not eat meat?! Why don't you eat meat?


Why?


.... Why?

...



...Why?




Because I don't feel like it you cunt. Leave me. The fuck. Alone.

"but i don't get it! i just don't get it! EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO ME."

fucking look it up, you clown.

 

[cpr]

I don't have a kid but I have used the dog as an excuse once or twice , but mostly now days when invited out or anything social like that I am usually honest and say , " Look , I wont say yeah , cause , truthfully I probably wont go .I'm not very social , nothing personal - but I appreciate the invite" etc.

New people think I'm having a laugh but after a while everyone accepts it just fine.

The dog is the ultimate leaving early excuse.."gotta head off not, feed the dog", the truth being even when I get home my dog probably won't be fucked eating and has to be coaxed n cajoled into it.

 

[plug]

young children and dogs are practically the same anyway; they both yelp,
bite, howl, drool, wreck the gaff and shit anywhere they want with impunity.