Best Onion headlines ever (1 Viewer)

[Bellatrix]

Real-Life Pepé Le Pew Rapes Cat

 

[thisgreg]

I love this one

Fun toy banned because of three stupid dead kids

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28331

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Area Mofo Announces Plans To Chill

 

[hermie]

Local minister loves to fuck his wife is a good one

 

[hermie]

37 Record-Store Clerks Feared Dead In Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster

 

[crusticide]

Area Man Loses Cowardly Battle Against Cancer

 

[mark]

there no 'my kid has cancer' in team

 

[nofriendo]

FBI Agent’s Cover Blown By Own Jacket

 

[avernus]

"PRESIDENT CLINTON DECLARES NATIONAL WEEK OFF TO GET NATIONAL SHIT TOGETHER"

 

[Corey]

Collectible-Plate Industry Calls For Tragic Death Of Streisand

Police Homicide Investigation Uncovers Cap In Ass

One of my favourite point/counterpoints

Point counterpoint is great:

The "You the man" one still cracks me up.


"God gives shout-out to all his crew"

 

[Charlie Bucket]

37 Record-Store Clerks Feared Dead In Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster

love that one http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27870

"It's just tragic," Gaer continued. "I heard they were going to play Daniel Johnston's 'Speeding Motorcycle.' They almost never do that one live."

and a like this one too -

Uninvited Guest Rapper Ruins Album

 

[Sufi]

The Headline on september 12th 2001 that read

Shattered nation longs to care about stupid bullshit again

Plus a photo collage of Britney Spears, Monica Lewinsky, sports, that kind of thing...

Gold, pure gold.

 

[hermie]

am also a big fan of this one:

Scholars Discover 23 Blank Pages That May As Well Be Lost Samuel Beckett Play

 

[Donkey OJ]

9lb man pulled from woman's vagina

 

[herv]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52819

from the most recent edition.