Being so drunk you piss yourself. (1 Viewer)

[billygannon]

nah, too much margin for error.

Saw a guy shitting in a trough urinal and wiping it down with his hand. In an Irish pub in Kilburn. Or was it Shepherd's Bush?

I saw a shepard shit in a bush.

There was a friend of mine who once ended up lying face-down on a floor, buck naked, with his pants soaked in urine. Stank out the entire first floor of my the place we were staying in.

And there was the whole dung flinging days of Maynooth.

 

[Jerry Twig]

Anyone ever followed through with a fart? I did one time, trying to impress a mate with a musical fart I ended up with shitty kecks. Man, that was embaressing!

haha. i has to share a car with a fella who shit himself with a follow through, and had no change of pants.

another one, which was pure class, was a friend who fell over while taking a piss and hit himself on the chest with a perfect arch. he was so scuttered he couldn't move. we just stood there in total awe! soaked he was.

 

[coast to coast]

one time me and "the lads" were out on the piss, and i shat myself!!!!!! boy was my face red!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!

thats so sXe!!!1!1!11!11!

 

[Corey]

after a good ten years in bars I've seen perfect little old darlings pebble-dash entire ladies toilets in mere seconds

The shit you see in the jacks.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

after a good ten years in bars I've seen perfect little old darlings pebble-dash entire ladies toilets in mere seconds

The shit you see in the jacks.

what reason could have for entering the womens toilets?

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

muh'self and long forgotten fancy goods went to college with this guy who drained the wizard all over the tv of the shared house he was living in one night

then he tried to cook some girls copy of 4 weddings and a funeral

strange guy

 

[Corey]

what reason could have for entering the womens toilets?

Why, to clean up after the little paint bombing bitches. Why else?

 

[Corey]

muh'self and long forgotten fancy goods went to college with this guy who drained the wizard all over the tv of the shared house he was living in one night

then he tried to cook some girls copy of 4 weddings and a funeral

strange guy

Some 'fucking legend' smeared 'Liverpool' in his own faeces across our college jacks wall years back.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

Why, to clean up after the little paint bombing bitches. Why else?

oh yeah, of course. was this in the stags? i suppose changing nappies isnt a all that different.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

Some 'fucking legend' smeared 'Liverpool' in his own faeces across our college jacks wall years back.

ledge'

 

[Corey]

oh yeah, of course. was this in the stags? i suppose changing nappies isnt a all that different.

it happened at least once in every bar i've worked in. Always by some chronic alco. You know by the sheer volume and coverage p/sq/inch. that the poor fuckers constipated gut just let go after about a months worth of stockpiling guinness and red,red meat.

I'm tougher than you'd think. I'm made of stooonne.

 

[billygannon]

My brother went to college in DCU a good few years back.

Anyway, one night he was out in the college bar and he went to the loo.

He went to look at a cubicle where he could do the business and found that one was clogged up with fæces and other such substances. Naturally he avoided this one.

When he went to the sink to wash his hands, he noticed that one of the college janitors had come into the bathroom. The janitor had a night off and was out on the town in his good shirt and trousers.
Then my brother sees him going into the clogged up toilet. To my brother's disbelief, he saw the janitor roll up his shirt sleeve and proceed to unclog the toilet bare-handed.
Then the janitor did his business. He then went to the sink where he gave his hands a quick wash under the tap and then he slicked back his hair and walked out of the bathroom.

Now that's a man adhering to his vocation.

 

[Alan Remorse]

ah, when you work in a college cleaning toilets you get to see it all... someday i'll tell ye about it...

 

[Stereobaby]

my mates have this thing called "the 8 year old piss".

when your at the urinal between loads of dudes piss standing up with your bags around your ankles like a what a kid does. funny shit.

pooping yourself in company has to be the fucking worst

 

[Zeelander]

One time, I put a pen in my mouth which had previously been in my ear!!! Ewww!! Can you imagine?!! Jesus!

 

[Hector Grey]

Utterly mazin bleedin thread. My faith in humanity (such as it was) is faithfully restored to its previous full technicolour glory.

I have never soiled myself when drunk.

I did puke on a wall when i couldn't get to the jacks in time. I know a guy who pissed on his bedroom wall, then puked in a plastic bag and left it under his bed. For six months.

I'm all about falling over.

 

[Lord Damian]

i once got so locked that i couldn't find my way out of my pitch-black, no light-switch-having bedroom, so i just pissed at the foot of my bed. seriously, the room was the heart of darkness, and i was so f'd i couldn't remember the layout.

what the fuck, it wasn't REAL piss anyhow, just beer.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

WEH WEH

 

[egg_]

You know the way lots of jacks have a kind of little ante-room - you go in the main door to the jacks and then you've to go through another door to get into the jacks proper? My brother got lost in one of those last weekend, in the Thomas Moore Tavern in Wexford, a pub he's been in a zillion times - walks into the jacks, sees a blank wall ahead of him, and instead of turning right gets it into his head that the next door is behind the main door, so closes the main door and turns left to find just another blank wall covered in white tiles. He looks side to side, side to side and just sees two blank walls, and just stays there until some townie open the inner jacks door (which is behind him all the time) and says "A LITTLE BIT LOST, ARE YE BROTHER?"

 

[Unclealo]

An student temp at my company took a shit on a toilet seat at work the day he was leaving as some sort of way to stick/shit it to the man