Anyone remember "Pricks"? (1 Viewer)

[fake working class]

pat (20 Nov, 2001 04:30 p.m.):
wanker

ah shite, jew see me aswell?

fuckin' bastards, what were yiz all doin' looking in the cubicle of lillies for anyway?

pricks.

 

[chriths]

What, no more bad ass dumplord stories?

Pricks

 

[Stuart Little]

Anyone remember "Dumps?"?

Well, there's always the one about the chap who had bad travel gallops in the airport on his way to barcelona.
Someone told a joke and when he laughed he shat hisself. He let on nothing was wrong and excused himself, and then hid his mouldy kaks behind the toilet.

Kept it a secret for 3 years as well...

[ Can't believe I just made 'premium member' with a post like that...]

 

[fake working class]

Chrith (20 Nov, 2001 05:16 p.m.):
What, no more bad ass dumplord stories?

Pricks

yeah! i was enjoying those.......

 

[fake working class]

Anyone remember "Dumps?"?

Stewart Little (20 Nov, 2001 05:24 p.m.):
Well, there's always the one about the chap who had bad travel gallops in the airport on his way to barcelona.
Someone told a joke and when he laughed he shat hisself. He let on nothing was wrong and excused himself, and then hid his mouldy kaks behind the toilet.

Kept it a secret for 3 years as well...

[ Can't believe I just made 'premium member' with a post like that...]

thanks bud, you've got ALL the classy friends. can i hang around with you and your anally liberated buds?

 

[old]

We want names.

And more scatology.

 

[undo]

what with the 'we want names' stuff...

tadhg o'brien... in bray...

if this is the only tadhg o'brien in bray that i know, my faith in my cousin tadhg as positive role model for immature little me is shattered.

jesus. what a way to find out.

 

[pad]

jesus what a way to find out your family members darkest secrets. on thumped of all places!

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Back to bog stories

What about the "craze" in UCD in the early 1990s for people going for a crap, wiping themselves clean - but NOT detaching the toilet paper but instead rolling it back up - and the paper was in a round plastic container so you literally couldn't see the condition of the roll before you pulled.

It would seriously ruin your day.

 

[pad]

that is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard of in my life. i am never going to use those filthy jacks again.fuck

 

[Vinnie]

Stewart Little (20 Nov, 2001 10:36 a.m.):
ALSO true:

Belated realization of absense of bogroll in the workplace loo.

Hurried inventory of surroundings produced:

1: small ring-bound A6 notepad with glossy ruled feint paper.

2: Well used J-cloth reeking of Mister Sheen.

Result:
Cut the arse of meself with (1), and then proceeded to polish it with (2).

Oh, the burning shame.

Mr little. Was this when we worked together?

 

[ronan]

Vinnie (21 Nov, 2001 12:03 a.m.):

Stewart Little (20 Nov, 2001 10:36 a.m.):
ALSO true:

Belated realization of absense of bogroll in the workplace loo.

Hurried inventory of surroundings produced:

1: small ring-bound A6 notepad with glossy ruled feint paper.

2: Well used J-cloth reeking of Mister Sheen.

Result:
Cut the arse of meself with (1), and then proceeded to polish it with (2).

Oh, the burning shame.

Mr little. Was this when we worked together?

i don't understand.

'worked together' on wiping his arse?

that must a been a heck of an operation

 

[Stuart Little]

Yeah Vinnie, when we 'worked' together.

Now that's what I call teamwork.

 

[chriths]

Stewart Little (21 Nov, 2001 09:51 a.m.):
Yeah Vinnie, when we 'worked' together.

Now that's what I call teamwork.

This is no doubt the 'Alpstreet Attic Dwellers Foundation' located out in Kingstown in the mid 90's where Stuart Little would boil kettles to conceal any noise emanating from his rear, if I'm not mistaken.

 

[Stuart Little]

I'd forgotten that myself.

Lash on the kettle in the adjacent kitchen, turn on the loo light (which in turn activated the fan) and then run the tap, all in an effort to create as much background noise as possible while havin' a poop.

Worked a treat.

 

[Stuart Little]

Just remembered another story, let's just say it happened to some guys I know.

They were staying in a friends *AHEMCHRITH* derelict cottege in sligo, that was without the luxury of running water or a loo.

Necessity required those in need of a dump to lose themselves in the woods out the back to do the business in relative privacy.

Well, on a particularly sunny day we, I mean they, entered the woods and put enough distance between each other to ensure no voyeuristic shenanigans.

Buckles were undone, the crouching position was assumed, and the relevant muscles expanded & contracted allowing you-know-what.
At that instant everything went dark as the entire insect population for miles around converged on our, eh their, collective brownstars.

You can imagine the girlish shreiks coming from amidst the trees as we, eh they, tried to fight the buggers off and get the job done as quickly and hygenically as possible under the circumstances.

It's funny now, but at the time it was nearly an occasion for tears.

I'm sorry if this authentic 'toilet humour' offends anyone...

 

[chriths]

does anyone even have tales from the Book of the Vomitorium? it's terribly boring down here on mount street without any comedy.

hello?

 

[gipetto]

This would be a great little christams project..something like the "ltl bk of txt msging". "The little book of human faeces and assorted delights" guh?

 

[chriths]

I'd buy that for a Euro