I give you peace (1 Viewer)

[therealjohnny]

my mate took communion in his hand and pretended to put it in his mouth.

what actually happened: the communion stayed in his hand and he gave it to a dog when he got outside.

straight.to.hell

 

[Skrankio-X]

I did the same and burned it outside to show off.

 

[GO]

my brother forgot what to say once when the priest touched him intimately, he said "thanks!".

my mate took the priests sperm in his hand and pretended to put it in his mouth.

what actually happened: the "communion" stayed in his hand and he gave it to a dog when he got outside.

My Goodness.

 

[HMD]

PLEASED TO MEET YOU

 

[Skrankio-X]

Only a giant dove from outer space can bring peace to this sad world now

 

[shitepipe]

The mass is ended, let us go in peace.

THANKS BE TO GOD

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I might go to confession on the way home. Anyone go recently?

 

[classic seanc]

::clef::Through him,
with him,
in him.
In the unity of the holy spirit.
All glory and honour is yours, almighty father
forever and ever::clef::

 

[pissypants]

my brother forgot what to say once when the priest says "the body of christ" giving you communion, he said "thanks!".

A friend of mine who has never been to church was going up for communion at a wedding. To "body of christ", she replied: "Oh, hello!"

 

[David Kronenbourg]

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.
Then God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. God called the expanse heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day.
Then God said, “Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so. God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them”; and it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good. There was evening and there was morning, a third day.
Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. There was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.
Then God said, “Let the waters teem with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens.” God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind; and God saw that it was good. God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” There was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.
Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth after their kind”; and it was so. God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creeps on the ground after its kind; and God saw that it was good.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Then God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to every thing that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food”; and it was so. God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

 

[Goodbye]

So... evolution... hell of a thing wha...

 

[the strange guy]

God is gas.
Any deity that declares paedophilia as an
illness but not a mortal sin is likely to go
very easy on the rest of us so-called sinners.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I might go to confession on the way home. Anyone go recently?

Confession was closed. Another time perhaps.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

i could never think of anything in confession so i made stuff up. yeah nicked money from mam's purse, called mam a bitch, dressed up in nana's clothes etc.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

my favourite line is "take this, all of you, and eat it".

Confession was closed. Another time perhaps.

were you really gonna go? when i was in school we used to have competitions to see who could get the most penance. three hail marys, three our fathers and three (i think) glory bes three times a day for three weeks was my record.

 

[Lili Marlene]

::clef::Through him,
with him,
in him.
In the unity of the holy spirit.
All glory and honour is yours, almighty father
forever and ever::clef::

May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands
for the praise and glory of his name,
for our good, and the good of all his Church.

 

[the strange guy]

Do you think the recession will lead to an
increase of people going to mass?
Judging from the nostalgia from this
thread, I'll go for YES.

I popped into my local mosque but got
thrown out for being unable to close my
fly. It was broken, you wankers.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

im hoping for a return of the moving statues too. is dessie o'hare still alive?

 

[the strange guy]

The border fox? He was in my bins last
night, the little fucker. Hope he gets hit by a
truck, my dentist wants his fingers back.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

were you really gonna go? when i was in school we used to have competitions to see who could get the most penance. three hail marys, three our fathers and three (i think) glory bes three times a day for three weeks was my record.

I'd be embarrassed to go now - think the last time I went was in school when mass and confession were mandatory. That's 20 years + ago.

Don't think the priest would like it. You rarely hear of young people going now. Imagine asking work for time off.

Why?

I want to go to confession.