Why I'm Going To Kill My Boss (3 Viewers)

[Shay HT]

Why I quit before I killed my Boss.....

1) He was a fat ignorant bastard
2) He not no social skills
3) He drove a BMW!!
4) He surfed porn everyday (his fav was "Hairy Maureen")
5) He wanked in the jacks at least once a day
6) He was a moron
7) He'd ask me to do something - I'd to it exactly as he asked, the worst was when he asked me to "build Outlook for the web". After a few days I had done EXACTLY as he asked, he came to see the finished product and "this is shit, its crap" ad walked away.... yeah i can read your mind, i really know how to fix it
8) He'd cram whole potatoes into his mouth and ate with it open
9) He moved into our office for 3 months cause he thought we were doing nothing
10) Moved my desk to the most awkward place, spent my days walking back and forth between my PC and server (with a dodgey leg)
11) Was late by 5-10mins for a few mornings cause of road works, he said i'd have to make it up in the evening. Asked could I come in hour early, leave hour early (other staff did). "NO!"
12) Once worked 29 hours straight into a saturday, he arrived in "I suppose you have to go home now". Guy working with me had to drag me out the door!
13) When you'd explain something to him he'd stare vacantly, without saying a word, jaw dropped
14) Got really bad tooth infection (nearly exploded!). Rang in sick, nearly collapsing with pain, "I'm going to dentist", "Dentist, really?"
15) Was in car crash. Told him "I have to leave 30mins early to leave car to garage, I was in car crash at the weekend", no are you ok "You'll have to make the time up"

16) I could go on......!

 

[shidheat]

so, dig this:

Tuesday - beginning to get head cold at work - go to leave early - boss reminds me that he needs reports by Wednesday afternoon for his trip to LA - Shit, says I, guess I'm coming into work tomorrow whether i'm sick or not

Wednesday - show up sick as fuck, snot everywhere, headache, medicated to the point of hallucination - head down, no lunch break, reports done by 4 o'clock - give reports to manager to approve - 6:30, OK given to hand over reports to boss - give reports to boss - informed LA trip is cancelled, won't be needing reports until tomorrow when we (boss, manager, myself) to sit down and assess all projects

Thursday - still sick - get to work, boss not even here - going home now.

Got any work horror stories of your own?

Separates the men from the boys...

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Separates the men from the boys...

Grr That Tarquin prick! Always stirring up shit in the office!!

 

[ddmurph]

a mate of mine in his last week of work got given out shit to for being 5 minutes late. he'd a really bad pain in his chest but his bitch of a boss wouldn't let him leave early. turned out his lung had collapsed.

 

[broken arm]

I get to tell my boss what I am going to do and he just agrees as long as i meet my 'deliverables' (which I set).

before this job i was my own boss.

i'm not gloating just letting you know there is another way to work

 

[Anthony]

I worked in an office for a little while in 2001. When the twin towers thing happened obviously we were a bit distracted. We had an american girl working there ad the boss wouldn't let her go early or anything "have you'se no work to do?". Hardly a collapsed lung but I thought it was lousey.

 

[ddmurph]

I get to tell my boss what I am going to do and he just agrees as long as i meet my 'deliverables' (which I set).

me too (kinda)

 

[egg_]

his bitch of a boss wouldn't let him leave early

What's this "wouldn't let him" bullshit? Just leave! She's hardly gonna call security to force a guy to stay in the building
I love my boss, cos my boss is me

 

[ddmurph]

What's this "wouldn't let him" bullshit? Just leave! She's hardly gonna call security to force a guy to stay in the building

yeah i know. i said more or less the exact same thing to him too. it was some shitty part time minimum wage job too.

 

[Cormcolash]

so, dig this:

Tuesday - beginning to get head cold at work - go to leave early - boss reminds me that he needs reports by Wednesday afternoon for his trip to LA - Shit, says I, guess I'm coming into work tomorrow whether i'm sick or not

Wednesday - show up sick as fuck, snot everywhere, headache, medicated to the point of hallucination - head down, no lunch break, reports done by 4 o'clock - give reports to manager to approve - 6:30, OK given to hand over reports to boss - give reports to boss - informed LA trip is cancelled, won't be needing reports until tomorrow when we (boss, manager, myself) to sit down and assess all projects

Thursday - still sick - get to work, boss not even here - going home now.

Got any work horror stories of your own?

Instead of coming into work on Wednesday, you should have phoned in sick, then when they asked for an explanation, explained that you were sick, then if they tried to do anything about it afterwards, sued the cunts.

 

[TenRabbits]

I'm in IT at the moment, and a common 'joke' is to stick the following up as your desktop wallpaper if you're off sick for a day:

EDIT: Sorry.. it's basically a pic of that lemsip box that says 'your nose may be running but the office doesn't run itself. Back to work motherfucker'
Typical that I can't find the damn thing on the net.

Ah hahahahahahah hahahahah hahaha.

IT.. funniest department ever.!bog !baggyyyy

 

[krystal]

yeah, that's gas.

 

[muffin]

i was pretty shocked to find out that legally u dont have to tell yr boss whats wrong with you..if you just say sick and dont go into detail theres absolutely nothing they can do about it..nor does yr doctor have to write it on yr sick cert.my old job were such ashholes and when i got ill my doctor didnt put anything on my cert and said if they asked about it to tell them to formally write to him requesting the information..they were so pissed off..the man is a legend..

 

[guy of the tiger]

Holy shit - I want to kill this guy too

Why I quit before I killed my Boss.....

1) He was a fat ignorant bastard
2) He not no social skills
3) He drove a BMW!!
4) He surfed porn everyday (his fav was "Hairy Maureen")
5) He wanked in the jacks at least once a day
6) He was a moron
7) He'd ask me to do something - I'd to it exactly as he asked, the worst was when he asked me to "build Outlook for the web". After a few days I had done EXACTLY as he asked, he came to see the finished product and "this is shit, its crap" ad walked away.... yeah i can read your mind, i really know how to fix it
8) He'd cram whole potatoes into his mouth and ate with it open
9) He moved into our office for 3 months cause he thought we were doing nothing
10) Moved my desk to the most awkward place, spent my days walking back and forth between my PC and server (with a dodgey leg)
11) Was late by 5-10mins for a few mornings cause of road works, he said i'd have to make it up in the evening. Asked could I come in hour early, leave hour early (other staff did). "NO!"
12) Once worked 29 hours straight into a saturday, he arrived in "I suppose you have to go home now". Guy working with me had to drag me out the door!
13) When you'd explain something to him he'd stare vacantly, without saying a word, jaw dropped
14) Got really bad tooth infection (nearly exploded!). Rang in sick, nearly collapsing with pain, "I'm going to dentist", "Dentist, really?"
15) Was in car crash. Told him "I have to leave 30mins early to leave car to garage, I was in car crash at the weekend", no are you ok "You'll have to make the time up"

16) I could go on......!

 

[Red_Dog]

I once had a boss whos nickname was "beetroot face" (he had a red face - he was a complete sleeze bag with the female staff members - but i think thats how ye get your revenge - give them a nice nickname another one of the bosses was called Bagpuss - classic stuff

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

You lot must be real troublemakers to make your bosses treat you like that

 

[plug]

bosses... such a distant memory.

 

[guy of the tiger]

I worked in an office for a little while in 2001. When the twin towers thing happened obviously we were a bit distracted. We had an american girl working there ad the boss wouldn't let her go early or anything "have you'se no work to do?". Hardly a collapsed lung but I thought it was lousey.

I was in San Francisco in Sept 2001, cold call telemarketing for a morgage company. On the 11th, they had me calling people as usual.

Fancyg - "HI! We believe we can save you a lot of money on your morgage payments! Would you like to speak to a broker?"

That sh_t didn't go down so hot! I told them I wasn't doing anymore calls that day. They seemed suprised but accepted it.

 

[Jill Hives]

Just be glad you don't have to conference on one of these. Office togetherness has just gone too far! http://dutchbikes.us/cobi/

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Is that an all-in-one denim outfit on yer one?
Magnificent!