will disputes (1 Viewer)

[Lord Damian]

anyone here ever been involved in one?

advice/anecdotes/anything to lighten the fucking foul mood i'm in are welcome.

you know you're an adult when you start researching solicitors...

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Wanna tell us about it?
Basically wills are poison, especially when land is involved. land is double poison.

 

[Lord Damian]

Wanna tell us about it?
Basically wills are poison, especially when land is involved. land is double poison.

no land involved in this one, just dough and property.

essentially a lot of he said/she said, and information making it to my ears third-or-fourth hand. just feels like i've been fed bullshit so far and have just decided to work things out for myself.

thankfully, it's not family who's apparently trying to screw everyone over, just an outsider who happened to come along at the right time and insinuate themselves into the deceased's life before they passed, which has enraged me to near-hysterics.

not a great friday.

 

[avernus]

Best thing to do when you die is leave everything to your dog, certain in the knowledge that they never fucked you over, never lied to you, would never blow their inheritance on gambling or drugs or whores, and would always be faithful to your memory. Might be prudent to get them a financial adviser also.

 

[avernus]

no land involved in this one, just dough and property.

essentially a lot of he said/she said, and information making it to my ears third-or-fourth hand. just feels like i've been fed bullshit so far and have just decided to work things out for myself.

thankfully, it's not family who's apparently trying to screw everyone over, just an outsider who happened to come along at the right time and insinuate themselves into the deceased's life before they passed, which has enraged me to near-hysterics.

not a great friday.

that sounds hideous. take them down!

 

[Lord Damian]

that sounds hideous. take them down!

yeah, it's pretty shitty. that's just the general outline, there are specifics that would make your toes curl if i felt comfortable enough to share them on an internet messageboard...
it's really, really stressing me out.

 

[It Will Never Last]

I'm trying to play peacemaker in the middle of one of these at the moment, not nice.

Causing serious tension among my family.

 

[shower another shower]

Ah, yea. My uncle committed my Grandad to an Alzhiemers unit when he was just getting older. We took him to court to have my grandad taken out. We eventually succeeded and had a court person look after his well being. Died three days later, after he had been so run down from spending 3 months with people he couldn't relate to.
The uncle devalued all his property and then sold it at its worth so he didn't have to pay out the full whack to the rest of the family.
We didn't care about the cash, as we just wanted the best for my Grandad.

There's another dispute, completely unrelated, that I want no part of, but can't discuss, as its ongoing.

Families suck when it comes to this sort of thing. Brings out the worst in the people that you thought were sound. Vultures.

 

[jane]

Wills and weddings bring out the crazy in people.

I can't think of a single death in my family that has not resulted in absolute ridiculousness when it came to the will.

When my paternal grandmother died, she hadn't left much at all in cash. There were about $250,000 worth of opera costumes, but those went to the opera company, and a lot of the little money she did have had gone on her care because she was really unwell and in a home before she died. But my uncle, who was unemployed at the time, managed to book himself and his wife a nice 3-month trip around Europe, and I'm not sure my dad or his sister ever even saw the will.

Meanwhile, when we pulled into the cemetery with the hearse and all, we were stopped at the gate by the cemetery dudes who said that the plot hadn't been paid for, and if they didn't get their money right then, we weren't going to be allowed to put her in the ground. My mom had to write a rather hefty cheque just so we could bury her, and my uncle was -- mysteriously -- nowhere to be seen. And it wasn't even her mother! Uncle reappeared at the graveside while my aunt read out a poem (even though he's the self-styled John Donne) and my cousin and I took bets on which hysterical mourner would throw herself on the coffin (no one did, though).

Both sides of my family are absolutely nuts. Not all of them, but enough to make the difference between petty squabbling and someone burning down a house to destroy evidence (that was on my father's side).

I'm sorry you're going through this Damian, it's probably only the most minor consolation to know that this happens in most families, because that doesn't solve your problems with whomever this is and whatever he or she is doing.

I hope it gets sorted out, although since you're the one who is having to do a lot of the sorting out, that probably isn't very helpful.

 

[Gambra]

This kinda thing has ruined my Mam's side of the family. The double poison of land is involved. Basically involves my grandad who died in 1982 leaving all the land to my gran in his will, grand out. Then my gran dies and they discover she hasn't made a will. Cue fights since. The full farmhouse and sheds are falling apart because of it all..

 

[Squiggle]

I keep trying to convince my grandmother to spend every last cent that she has before she dies. Even still it is going to be fun when she dies as the home she currently lives in is placed on land that belongs to my father. When my vulture Aunts move in they'll be told to hire themselves a truck so they can each haul their half of the cabin to the site of their choice - at least if I get to be the one doing the telling they will - after all, the land doesn't belong to my Gran, and they can take her poxy plants with them too - we need that corner of our orchard back anyway. Witches both of them (the aunts that is).

I keep giving my parents similar advice. Squander every last cent, sell the lot and keep downsizing to suit their needs... people should leave as little as possible to avoid future arguments. It's the height of selfishness to leave a mess for the family to clean up later. Give it to us now when you can see what we do with it, or never.



Sorry to hear about your problems Damian. It sucks. When my Grandad died my granny decided to give his wood-working tools to my cousin, although the will said they were to go to my Mum, and when he came to get them he took (under my Gran's direction) several of my Dad's too. My parents just shrugged and decided to ignore it.

 

[jane]

I keep trying to convince my grandmother to spend every last cent that she has before she dies. Even still it is going to be fun when she dies as the home she currently lives in is placed on land that belongs to my father. When my vulture Aunts move in they'll be told to hire themselves a truck so they can each haul their half of the cabin to the site of their choice - at least if I get to be the one doing the telling they will - after all, the land doesn't belong to my Gran, and they can take her poxy plants with them too - we need that corner of our orchard back anyway. Witches both of them (the aunts that is).

I keep giving my parents similar advice. Squander every last cent, sell the lot and keep downsizing to suit their needs... people should leave as little as possible to avoid future arguments. It's the height of selfishness to leave a mess for the family to clean up later. Give it to us now when you can see what we do with it, or never.



Sorry to hear about your problems Damian. It sucks. When my Grandad died my granny decided to give his wood-working tools to my cousin, although the will said they were to go to my Mum, and when he came to get them he took (under my Gran's direction) several of my Dad's too. My parents just shrugged and decided to ignore it.

I've had that awkward conversation with my mom, too. She's assured me that there won't be much, and I keep telling her to spend it and make sure she and my dad are not thinking they have to save anything for us. They sold their house and moved into a rental gaff, which is a pretty big relief because there won't be anything to fight over, or rather, sit by and watch my brother 'inherit'. When they sold the house, my brother descended like a vulture, delighted he could cash in on his inheritance. My dad told him he could have all of the household contents, and I could have a selection of my own childhood toys. My mom stopped this from totally happening, but it did kind of make me sad.

I'd just never thought about what I'd want from my parents' house, but apparently, my brother was well prepared with a nice list of all the most expensive items. I was pretty hurt, not because I wanted anything in particular but because I felt like it was a prelude to the future. It hadn't crossed my mind to be a vulture like that. My mom actually told me she was going to put a few sentimental-value things in storage for me that he can't get at because she knows full well that she doesn't want to leave me with nothing. Which is what she got from her family, and what my father got from his family.

My aforementioned uncle was so nasty that even while my grandmother was alive, she used to hide her cash in a pot in the oven because it was the only place he wouldn't look. She'd then pretend she was even more demented than she was so that he wouldn't try to make her remember where the money was. That's fucking sad. We're talking fucking coins here, too. She was living on next to nothing in a tiny one-bedroom apartment.

 

[Squiggle]

It really sucks doesn't it. What is wrong with people anyway? I'd be willing to bet that the same vultures won't give their children anything but grief and heartache.

Actually, just had a !bing moment. I'm going to insist that the Aunts pay weekly rent for the plot until they get the poxy cabin/cottage out of there. The sooner we can replant to replace the trees that were felled to put the cabin there the better.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

I keep trying to convince my grandmother to spend every last cent that she has before she dies. Even still it is going to be fun when she dies as the home she currently lives in is placed on land that belongs to my father. When my vulture Aunts move in they'll be told to hire themselves a truck so they can each haul their half of the cabin to the site of their choice - at least if I get to be the one doing the telling they will - after all, the land doesn't belong to my Gran, and they can take her poxy plants with them too - we need that corner of our orchard back anyway. Witches both of them (the aunts that is).

I keep giving my parents similar advice. Squander every last cent, sell the lot and keep downsizing to suit their needs... people should leave as little as possible to avoid future arguments. It's the height of selfishness to leave a mess for the family to clean up later. Give it to us now when you can see what we do with it, or never.



Sorry to hear about your problems Damian. It sucks. When my Grandad died my granny decided to give his wood-working tools to my cousin, although the will said they were to go to my Mum, and when he came to get them he took (under my Gran's direction) several of my Dad's too. My parents just shrugged and decided to ignore it.

your aunts are over on boards.ie giving out about their awful niece who doesnt care a damn for them and only wants them out of the way so she can get all the apples for herself. the little rip is up in dublin but she can still stick her nose in from there

my mother inherited a field from her aunt in a lovely part of west cork but shes selling it so we cant be fighting over it

 

[Squiggle]

your aunts are over on boards.ie giving out about their awful niece who doesnt care a damn for them and only wants them out of the way so she can get all the apples for herself. the little rip is up in dublin but she can still stick her nose in from there

my mother inherited a field from her aunt in a lovely part of west cork but shes selling it so we cant be fighting over it

Oh, I care about them a great deal, but my grandfather was extremely generous to them during his life, he bought the first house for both of them and raised the children of the one while she lived with them and lived it up. They've both had plenty, but my Dad bought the farm off my grandfather so they've no right to a square millimetre of it.

 

[billygannon]

Irish people and land are a bad mix.

 

[jane]

Irish people and land are a bad mix.

Do you think people were any better about wills when wealth was still measured in cattle?

 

[Corey]

Death and taxes. Neither are fun.

I was all about solicitors till about two weeks ago. they are a practical sort; their machine-like approach to situations delicate can seem heartless, but after a while you'd realise how necessary it is for them and for you.

you'll need written accounts of any relevent info. written correspondence, emails etc. with relevent parties will make things go quicker, and cost you less if you've hired a solicitor.If you're in (regular) contact with involved parties, try to get it all down on record from here on in; be it emails or otherwise.

It's all i got boss. Basically,(and legally) if there's an issue that needs resolving, and ther's two parties invloved; the one with the most accountable information wins.

Who said friday nights can't be serious,eh? Good luck with it.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

This thread is putting me in the mood to watch The Field.

 

[Diddles]

God, I've had some serious shite over this type of thing, starting about a year ago. Can't tell you about it because it's not over yet. And when it is eventually over, there will probably be weeks/months/years of fallout.

Hope it works out for you Lord D.