Whats the funniest quote you've ever heard ever? (1 Viewer)

[sugar_referee]

' you , a novelist ? Listen dear, you couldn't write ' fuck ' on a dusty venetian blind ' .

Dorothy Parker was a flithy genius.

 

[Monkey]

"I'm going to be marking these tests very hard and I make no appologies for that. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am." - My old maths teacher

 

[Pat Pockets]

Garda "Sir, were doin are best"
Man "Oh, your doin your best..your doin best..YE COULDN'T DO A GOOD SHITE!"

 

[ernesto]

Garda "Sir, were doin are best"
Man "Oh, your doin your best..your doin best..YE COULDN'T DO A GOOD SHITE!"

 

[Goodbye]

Waking up on the floor after a hards nights boozin...
Mate of mines voice in the dark:
"I have'nt been this comfortable since the last time I fell off a cliff."

Still makes me chuckle years later, But i guess you had to be there...

The only thing that is guaranteed to have me in complete stitches is not a quote, but a scene in a movie, seriously I'm on the floor laughing 5 mins before it even happens:

Peter Sellers in The Party where he falls off the roof

Who's with me?

 

[Super Dexta]

bill bailey, on the argos catalogue:

"you know why it's laminated, don't you? to catch the tears of joy! 'so many beautiful things! i cannot possess them all!'."

it's all in the tone though. and the look on his face.

 

[BC]

ooh, price check... the laminated book of dreams/ the tardis of toasters.

 

[ernesto]

bill bailey, on the argos catalogue:

"you know why it's laminated, don't you? to catch the tears of joy! 'so many beautiful things! i cannot possess them all!'."

it's all in the tone though. and the look on his face.

ah yes, the book of dreams!!

love that bit too.

i simply must posess them all!!

 

[Catwoman]

bill bailey, on the argos catalogue:

"you know why it's laminated, don't you? to catch the tears of joy! 'so many beautiful things! i cannot possess them all!'."

it's all in the tone though. and the look on his face.

Yes yes yes!

There's so many quotes on that Part Troll show...

 

[Jerry Twig]

"I--the royal we, you know, the
editorial--I dropped off the money,
exactly as per--Look, I've got certain
information, certain things have
come to light, and uh, has it ever
occurred to you, man, that given the
nature of all this new shit, that,
uh, instead of running around blaming
me, that this whole thing might just
be, not, you know, not just such a
simple, but uh--you know?"

God i love that guy!

Hells yea -

"Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

 

[ernesto]

Hells yea -

"Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

'8 year olds dude'

 

[HMD]

water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink

 

[Jerry Twig]

'8 year olds dude'

must spread some rep etc.

"Fuckin Quintana, that creep can roll, man."

 

[ernesto]

must spread some rep etc.

"Fuckin Quintana, that creep can roll, man."

'no, seriously he did 9 moths in Chino man, he's a paderass'

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

"Lynn, you couldn't present a cat."

 

[whathappen?]

"Mrs Peacock was a man?"

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

"GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!"

 

[Doctor Muscles]

"GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!"

"This stuff will make you a god damned sexual tyranosaurus, just like me"

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

"This stuff will make you a god damned sexual tyranosaurus, just like me"

"hey billy, i said to my girlfriend the other day, jeez you got a big pussy, jeez you got a big pussy. she said why did you say that twice. i said i didnt.... see, it was cause of the echo in the room"

 

[Pat Pockets]

"GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!"

MY NAME IS NOT QUAAAAAAID!!