war blogs (1 Viewer)

[La La]

let's face it, there are hundreds. thousands, even. here's one of my favourites. there's such a torment in the way this girl writes. it's tragic yet utterly captivating.

beirut on the horizon.
Sunday, August 6, 2006 at about 9pm:

here i am, sitting on the deck of one of those ships which, til now, I only knew from the news or from friends leaving the country with the embassies.
when our ship left the port of beirut we saw smoke rising over dahié. bombs again. on a sunny and hot sunday afternoon. how cruel. how disgusting. what a shame! what a sad last picture.
as the smoke rose over southern beirut, the town vanished on the horizon and my heart felt so terribly torn! no love story in my life has ever broken my heart as much as the destruction of beirut, of lebanon.
here I am now, on the deck of this french warship. with 1400 other people.
i am not able to talk, emotionless, numb, even the sadness got drowned deep down inside of me.
it’s getting dark, the wind is strong. people seem to get happier and relaxter the more beirut disappears on the horizon. as for me, i’m having rushes of panic and regret, a voice inside is telling me that i might not have taken the right decision.
i am sitting on the floor with my laptop on my knees, not able to realize that i am leaving beirut. what for heaven’s sake went to my mind when i took the decision to leave! i want to go back. NOW.
well if it wasn’t for my parents, i would still be in there. but that’s it, i am leaving. for their sake. i would have stayed. despite the sleepless nights. despite this lost feeling, being without work. despite the sound of the planes that drives me mad. despite the fact that beirut is not what it was anymore. i would have stayed because i felt that i want to be loyal to this town that has given me a home, that has shown me how it feels to be alive. i feel like a traitor. i have turned my back on the best times of my life. on the best town i have ever lived in. i am betraying what has given me life.
it’s very dark. only dimmed lights on the ship. people around me are turning to their favourite topic of conversation. politics. i hear parts of sentences. familiar words. familiar names. war has become kind of familiar to me. war has become our everyday life, after only 25 days! such a short period of time but it seems like ages. as if the time before was just a dream, an illusion. and weirdly, we simply got used to it, without even noticing. we wake up to the news, we live every day with the buzzing sound of a drone circling in the sky, we fall asleep watching the news, expecting the bombs and planes to shatter the silence of beirut at night. what a cruel reality. what a cruel thing to get used to.
i am coming back to beirut as soon as possible. i cannot imagine not to drive in those streets, not to sit in those cafes, not to wake up on the sound of the morning prayer anymore. i cannot imagine not to be stuck in traffic, i cannot imagine not to have sunny days almost all throughout the year, i don’t want to miss the sounds of beirut when the city awakes. i simply cannot imagine not to be in lebanon anymore.
these war days have taught me so much. real friends showed up and fake ones disappeared.
people get very close in times of war. close in a way that is not easy to explain in words. it is this special bond that you establish and that keeps you going and gives you hope. it is very beautiful.
we will arrive in cyprus tomorrow early morning. i wonder how it will feel. thank god i’m so tired that i’m not really able to feel much. for now.
to all of my dear people who are still in beirut - you know who you are - i love you all so much! i have had the best days of my life in beirut. and we will have them again. soon. keep on posting on your blogs, keep on sending emails with links and articles, keep on going, keep the faith and the hope. and us, who are abroad, will represent a network of support and information all over the world. we will fight them.
again and again: this war HAS to end.

http://thedancingfairy.blogspot.com/

 

[La La]

this one is particularly poignant:

2 August 2006
Posted by Zena
Just got home... was driving like crazy... word on the street is that Israel is threatening to hit Beirut now... I feel so helpless... I called Maya, she said that if she dies today that I could keep her DVDs that I’m borrowing... I told her the same thing. I called my husband and told him to come home. If I die, I want to be in his arms...My little brother is here with me. He is 20 years old. He is making some tea now. He believes it is going to be OK. We are supposed to be discussing a plan he has to make T-shirts with slogans on them to raise money for the relief shelter he is volunteering at. This could be my last entry... maybe. I have thought of that every time I put up an entry... but today, I am writing it with real fear in my heart. The violence continues... the hating continues.How can we stop this? Please help to stop this. I am only 30 years old. I have not had children. I want children. I want to live. I want to grow old with my husband... I want my children to play with my friends’ children... Simple things, I want.

http://www.beirutupdate.blogspot.com/