The 1,000,000th post guessing game... (2 Viewers)

[Gambra]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

is there a prize?

http://thumped.com/bbs/reputation.php?p=999598

 

[pete]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

Ghastly Quizmaster: Hello, good evening and welcome to the very
final edition of your favourite television quiz programme Spot
the Braincell. Thirty minutes of cheerful ritual humiliation of
the old and greedy. And could we have our first contestant,
please!

(Piano chords. Hostess (Chapman in drag) escorts Old ratbag
(Jones in drag) onto stage.)

Ghastly Quizmaster: Ha ha ha ... ha ha ha. Good evening, Madam!
And your name is?
Ratbag: Yes, Michael.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Ha ha ha! Jolly good -- and what is your
name?
Ratbag: I go to church regularly.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Ha ha ha, I see. And which particular prize
do you have eyes for this evening?
Ratbag: I'd like the blow on the head.
Ghastly Quizmaster: The blow -- on the head!
Ratbag: Yes, just there, where it hurts.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Jolly good! Well now Madam your first
question for the blow on the head this evening is: Which great
opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of
psychological phenomena to a physical state and insists there
is no point of contact between the extended and the unextended?
Ratbag: I don't know that.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Well -- have a guess!
Ratbag: Oh... Henri Bergson?
Ghastly Quizmaster: ...is the correct answer! (Piano chords)
Ratbag: Ooh, that was lucky. I never even heard of him.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Ha ha ha!
Ratbag: I don't like darkies.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Ha ha ha (maniacal cackle) She doesn't like
darkies. Ha ha ha. Who does? Ha ha ha! Well now, Mrs Scum, your
second question for the blow on the head is: What is the main
food eaten by penguins? What is the principal food that
penguins eat?
Ratbag: Pork luncheon meat.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Spam.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, no, no, no. Penguins. Penguins.
Ratbag: Horses.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Armchairs.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, no. All right, take it easy. I'll give
you a clue. (Does fish impression, opening and closing mouth,
puffing up face etc.)
Ratbag: Oh, I know, I know, I know! Brian Clough!
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, ha ha, no.
Ratbag: Brian Johnstone.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Brian Inglis.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Brian Forbes.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, ha ha.
Ratbag: Nanette Newman.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, ha ha (cackles). No, now listen, I'll
give you one more clue, one more clue. What lives in the sea
and gets caught in nets?
Ratbag: Goats.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Underwater goats with snorkels and flippers.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No, no.
Ratbag: A buffalo with an aqualung.
Ghastly Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Reginald Maudling.
Ghastly Quizmaster: (Pause) Yes, that's near enough. I'll give
you that. (Piano) Right, now you have won tonight's star prize.
Do you still want the blow on the head?
Ratbag: Oh, yes please, Michael.
Ghastly Quizmaster: (Deliberate Pause) I'm offering you a poke
in the eye...
Ratbag: No no.
Ghastly Quizmaster: All right then, a punch in the throat.
Ratbag: No.
Ghastly Quizmaster: My very last offer Mrs Scum -- a knee in
the temple and a dagger up the clitoris! (Piano) (Audience
cries of "Take the Money!" etc)
Ratbag: That's very tempting, I've never had one up there
before! No, I'll still have the blow on the head.
Ghastly Quizmaster: Right, the blow on the head. Mrs Scum, you
have won tonight's star prize, the blow on the (cackles) (16
ton weight falls on Ratbag).

 

[maims bond]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

grand stretch in the evenings isn't there?

 

[maims bond]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

i hear it's rain for the weekend...

 

[Lord Damian]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

can someone sum up why it says we're at 979,820 posts, yet we're apparently now 30 posts away?

 

[shower another shower]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

The Idiots are amazing. Nearly 20 years on.

 

[maims bond]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

can someone sum up why it says we're at 979,820 posts, yet we're apparently now 30 posts away?

must try harder

 

[Gambra]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

can someone sum up why it says we're at 979,820 posts, yet we're apparently now 30 posts away?

Hover over the #114 bit in my post. That's the real post number. The front page only says how many people can see.

 

[pete]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

can someone sum up why it says we're at 979,820 posts, yet we're apparently now 30 posts away?

because a large number of posts have been deleted for various reasons over the years. but they've still been made, so the actual post count is higher than the number of posts you can see right now.

 

[pete]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

999,981

 

[Anthony]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

TMBG wiki is deadly

 

[whathappen?]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

I'm all lost

 

[Anthony]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

gone

 

[Gambra]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

There's several thousand deleted posts in Eirecore that I can see. They have a post number but don't count towards the main page total

 

[Froog]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

wha-hay, it's an asstronaut!

 

[theweeyin]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

Will it be tonight? or will it be tomorrow? Ohhh, the tension!

 

[shower another shower]

Re: The 1,000,000th post excitement thread

The end is near

 

[Gambra]

This thread will be post #1,000,000

Out by 3

 

[Lord Damian]

Re: This thread will be post #1,000,000

no it can't

 

[Gambra]

Re: This thread will be post #1,000,000

I tried. I really did. Like the sparkler Pete.