Straight to Video (1 Viewer)

[jane]

I came across this online archive of scripts purchased by major studios/production companies, and boy did I come across it!

http://www.scriptsales.com/DDScriptSales.htm

A trawl through the archives will lead you to romcom/sportscom/madcapcom gems such as this:

Title: Run, Fat Boy, Run</B>
Log Line: A charming but oblivious overweight guy leaves his fiancée on their wedding day only to discover years later the he really loves her. To win her back, he must finish the New York marathon while making her realize the her new handsome, wealthy fiancé is the wrong guy for her.</B>
Writer: Michael Ian Black</B>
Agent: UTA and manager Ted Schacter</B>
Buyer: Gold Circle Films</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Romantic Comedy</B>
Logged: 8/27/04</B>
More: Beech Films' Alexa Fogel & Joseph Infantolino and Gold Circle Films' Paul Brooks will produce. David Schwimmer will direct.</B>

I'll bet he does it! I'll bet he's all like, look at me go, and then it's all like, ohmygod I have no more energy to run anymore because I'm fat and shit, and then she's all standing there on the street, kissing the lithe prettyboy and he's like, I'll show them and he's all like, yeah! I did it! And she's like, I would have won no matter what because I am a manipulative gee-faced wagon who gets men to do whatever I want them to do to get in my trouser. And they do it, fatty, don't they?

Title: Employee of the Month</B>
Log line: Two slacker Costco workers begin to fight against one another to become the perfect employee when they hear the new, cute girl in the store may date the next employee of the month.</B>
Writer: Greg Coolidge</B>
Agent: Emile Gladstone of BWCS, mngr. Walter Hamada of H2F Entertainment, atty. Karl Austen of Jackoway Tyerman Wertheimer Austen Mandelbaum & Morris</B>
Buyer: Lions Gate Entertainment</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 8/18/04</B>
More: Rewrite. Greg Coolidge will make his directorial debut.</B>

I can't wait to see who gets the date! I'll bet it's the one who isn't as perfect! Being employee of the month doesn't mean you get more dates, is the underlying message of this film. I hope someone gets hit with a stool.


Title: 100 Weddings</B>
Log Line: A cynical war reporter gets demoted to the wedding beat, where she has to cover 100 weddings before she can get her old job back. Along the way, she finds love.</B>
Writer: Ellen Simon and Erin Cramer</B>
Agent: n/a</B>
Buyer: Working Title Films</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Romantic Comedy</B>
Logged: 10/22/04</B>
More: Amanda Posey and Nick Hornby will executive produce. Darren Star to develop and direct.</B>

She finds love "along the way", and I'll bet she finds it at a wedding -- her own! And she learns that only reformed cynical ladies get to get married! I'll bet you!

Title: Back to Africa</B>
Log line: An ordinary guy discovers he's an African prince, so he heads there to claim his kingdom. It's not what he expected.</B>
Writer: Don Yost and Joel Kauffmann</B>
Agent: Ken Greenblatt of Paradigm</B>
Buyer: Universal Pictures</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 10/12/04</B>
More: Preemptive purchase. Graham Ludlow and Terra Firma Films' Greg Lessans & Josh Shader will produce. John Bonneau will co-produce.</B>

Fact: Africa is not made of rice and lacy undies.

Title: Chip on the Old Block</B>
Log line: A man returns to his hometown town to teach a bunch of kids how to live life, and it results in disaster.</B>
Writer: Michelle McGrath</B>
Agent: CAA, mngtmnt. firm Benderspink and atty. Howard Abramson</B>
Buyer: Universal Pictures</B>
Price: High Six Figures</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 10/8/04</B>
More: Shady Acres’ Tom Shadyac and Michael Bostick will produce.</B>

Will we ever learn how to live life?

Title: Real Men
Log Line: An impromptu small-town football game which pits gay against straight attracts worldwide attention.
Writer: Dan O'Dowd
Agent: Chasin Agency
Buyer: Mount Film Company
Price: n/a
Genre: Comedy
Logged: 11/15/04
More: Option. Dan O'Dowd and Mount Co.'s Thom Mount will produce. John Landis will direct.

Gays versus straights: I wonder who gets it in the end?

Title: Hip Hop Nanny</B>
Log line: A Scottish woman comes to the United States to work as a nanny for a hip hop/rap family.</B>
Writer: Michelle McGrath</B>
Agent: n/a</B>
Buyer: Walt Disney Pictures</B>
Price: Low six figures</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 10/1/04</B>
More: Pitch. Mandeveille and Helen Bartlett will produce.</B>

Please kill me.

 

[zebra heart attack]

I think comedy is the right term alright.

I wish i could get paid 'low six figures' for wiping my ass on paper

 

[jane]

Title: Snakes on a Plane</B>
Log line: An assassin unleashes lethal snakes aboard a packed passenger jet over the Pacific Ocean in order to eliminate a witness in protective custody. The rookie pilot and frightened passengers must band together to survive.</B>
Writer: John Heffernan and David Loucka</B>
Agent: Ben Smith of ICM (Heffernan) and Matt Leipzig of Original Artists (Loucka)</B>
Buyer: New Line Cinema</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Thriller</B>
Logged: 6/28/04</B>
More: C/W Productions' Don Granger will produce. Ronny Yu will direct. Project was originally set up at MTV Films.

The words, they fail me.

</B>Title: Must Love Dogs</B>
Log line: A 40-something preschool teacher decides to begin dating by putting out a personal ad.</B>
Writer: Gary David Goldberg</B>
Agent: David O’Connor of CAA</B>
Buyer: Warner Bros. Pictures</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Romantic Comedy</B>
Logged: 6/22/04</B>
More: Based on Claire Cook’s novel. UBU Productions' Gary David Goldberg will produce. Grant Rosenberg will executive produce. Gary David Goldberg will also direct. Diane Lane will star.</B>

I'll bet you some guy turns up, and she's all like, "Do you like dogs? I specifically requested someone who loves dogs," and he's all like, "Yeah, I fuck 'em once in a while," and they go out on a date, and she learns a very important lesson about love, and he learns very important lessons about both dogs and pussy.

Title: Walter the Farting Dog</B>
Log line: Walter the dog gets adopted by a family, but the father eventually has enough of him passing his horrible gas and tells Walter he must go back to the pound. But that night, two crooks break into the home, and Walter unleashes a hideous cloud, saving the day.</B>
Writer: Eric Champnella</B>
Agent: David Kramer at UTA, mgnr. Paul Nelson at Mosaic Media and atty. David Feldman</B>
Buyer: New Line Cinema</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Children’s</B>
Logged: 6/1/04</B>
More: To be adapted from William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray’s best-selling book.</B>

I only wish I made this one up.

Title: Open Bar</B>
Log line: Two friends fulfill a lifelong dream of owning the bar that they used to sneak into in high school.</B>
Writer: Josh Heald</B>
Agent: Chris Smith at Metropolitan Talent Agency and mngr. Mason Novik of Benderspink</B>
Buyer: New Line Cinema</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 5/13/04</B>
More: Jonathan Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg will produce.</B>

If only we could all live our dreams.

 

[THRILLHO]

In a similar vein, there's Query Letters I Love - before they send in their screenplay, writers will send in query letters outlining the plot of the movie and asking if the studio would be interested in reading the full screenplay.
This guy takes the most ridiculous ones he reads and puts them on the internet. He's not a terribly witty guy, but with dumb shit like this, he really doesn't have to be; they're comedy gold already.

 

[krystal]

Raptor is my all time favourite straight to video movie.

 

[Alan Remorse]

Raptor is my all time favourite straight to video movie.

i actually love that movie... it's no "Carnosaur" though

 

[krystal]

I also love it. It's fantastic. Stop motion and puppets instead of CGI, Corben Bernsen desperately trying to pay the mortgage and a completely bizarre 10 minute porn style sex scene - what's not to like??

 

[george mcfly]

Raptor is my all time favourite straight to video movie.

you obviously haven't seen
Boa vs. Python

the look of disgust i got when i rented that out.
i should have got Octopus 1 and 2 to go with it

 

[krystal]

No, I have not. All the video shops near us are shite.

you obviously haven't seen
Boa vs. Python

the look of disgust i got when i rented that out.
i should have got Octopus 1 and 2 to go with it

 

[Stereobaby]

Title: Employee of the Month</B>
Log line: Two slacker Costco workers begin to fight against one another to become the perfect employee when they hear the new, cute girl in the store may date the next employee of the month.</B>
Writer: Greg Coolidge</B>
Agent: Emile Gladstone of BWCS, mngr. Walter Hamada of H2F Entertainment, atty. Karl Austen of Jackoway Tyerman Wertheimer Austen Mandelbaum & Morris</B>
Buyer: Lions Gate Entertainment</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Comedy</B>
Logged: 8/18/04</B>
More: Rewrite. Greg Coolidge will make his directorial debut.</B>

I can't wait to see who gets the date! I'll bet it's the one who isn't as perfect! Being employee of the month doesn't mean you get more dates, is the underlying message of this film. I hope someone gets hit with a stool.

Title: Snakes on a Plane</B>
Log line: An assassin unleashes lethal snakes aboard a packed passenger jet over the Pacific Ocean in order to eliminate a witness in protective custody. The rookie pilot and frightened passengers must band together to survive.</B>
Writer: John Heffernan and David Loucka</B>
Agent: Ben Smith of ICM (Heffernan) and Matt Leipzig of Original Artists (Loucka)</B>
Buyer: New Line Cinema</B>
Price: n/a</B>
Genre: Thriller</B>
Logged: 6/28/04</B>
More: C/W Productions' Don Granger will produce. Ronny Yu will direct. Project was originally set up at MTV Films.

The words, they fail me.

That'll teach you Jane.

 

[Goff]

That's a great webpage. Ta, jane.

 

[magicbastarder]

i had a great idea for a film - nature begins to fight back. then i ran out of inspiration. can someone finish it for me?

 

[magicbastarder]

That's a great webpage. Ta, jane.

i get redirected to a different domain name, which doesn't have the linked page. any way of getting to it?