kevin gallen
Well-Known Member
The Thaw Incident
Possibly the finest Alan Brazil moment of them all...
Brazil: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV's John Shaw."
Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan."
Brazil: "Do you know, I've been doing that all morning. John, if you're listening, sorry mate."
* The Monkhouse Incident
Clearly not learning from The Thaw Incident, Brazil interviewed the odious Gary Bushell about comedy and in particular Bob Monkouse.
Brazil: "How is Bob's health these days?"
The Odious Bushell: "Er...he died, Alan."
* The Cronje Incident
He just never learned. In a pre-Cricket World Cup interview with TalkSport's cricket commentator...
Brazil: "Will Hansie be doing any commentaries for us during the World Cup?"
Cricket man: "Well not unless he's going to be doing them from the grave, Alan."
* The Boozy Prize
"Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s..."
* Commentary Classics
"He held his head in his hands as it flashed past the post."
"The tackles are coming in thick and thin."
"Roy Keane, his face punches the air..."
"...the Derby fans walking home absolutely silent in their cars."
* Memories Of Brazil
"One moment I'm playing football and the next - whack - I wake up in hospital unconscious."
* A Meeting Of Minds
Brazil: "I'm delighted to say we've got Sir Bobby Robson on the end of the phone, fresh from getting his knighthood at Buckingham Palace. Bobby, terrific news..."
Sir Bobby Robson: "What is?"
Brazil: "You know, getting the old sword on the shoulder from Prince Charlie."
Sir Bob: "Eh? [Long pause] Oh yeah...well, it was a day I'll never forget..."
* Brazil On Fergie
"The man is United through and through - cut him and he bleeds red."
* Keeping It In Perspective
The day after Wayne Rooney's debut hat-trick for Manchester United against Turkish side Fenerbahce, Brazil could think of little else...
Talksport newsreader: "Two bombs have exploded outside branches of the British Bank HSBC in Turkey..."
Brazil (excitedly interrupting him): "By the way, three more bombs were unleashed on Turkey last night..."
Newsreader (slightly embarrassed): "Yes, but it's not quite the same though."
* Some Brazil Ideas
Removing September 11 from the calendar? As in: "Let's not give those evil sodes that did this the satisfaction of having an anniversary for their deeds. Let's skip from the 10th straight through to the 12th." It was suggested that the rogue day would be added on to the end of September. Or possibly February.
Sinking the ship that was holding asylum-seekers off the coast of Australia. The BSC [Broadcasting Standards Commission] 'found that he had ignored human dignity and that his comment had gone beyond what was acceptable'.
* The Scotland/Faroe Islands Call
For once, not Brazil's fault but a genuinely funny moment on his and Mike Parry's breakfast show - the day after a 1-1 draw between Scotland and the Faroe Islands...
Alan Brazil: "We have Jim on the line who wants to discuss the Faroe Islands/Scotland game."
Jim: "Thanks...er yeah. Just want to say it's an absolute disgrace. I mean, we're playing probably the weakest side in world football and we can't do better than a draw."
Brazil: "It was a poor result?"
Jim: "Poor result! Poor result! It's absolutely scandalous. The manager has lost the plot completely, he's got to go. I know we've never set the world alight over the years on the international stage but I can't remember things being this bad. It's the end for us. The absolute end. I can't see us ever recovering from a setback like this. We're a complete laughing stock."
Parry: "Look, Jim, I know it seems bad now but there's still a long way to go. I can't see you qualifying for Euro 2004 but hopefully things will improve."
Jim: "I never expected for a moment we would qualify. I don't mind that so much. We're not good enough. But listen, to not qualify is one thing, but to fail to beat a team like Scotland is a different matter. It's a bitter blow for everyone here on the islands."
Possibly the finest Alan Brazil moment of them all...
Brazil: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV's John Shaw."
Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan."
Brazil: "Do you know, I've been doing that all morning. John, if you're listening, sorry mate."
* The Monkhouse Incident
Clearly not learning from The Thaw Incident, Brazil interviewed the odious Gary Bushell about comedy and in particular Bob Monkouse.
Brazil: "How is Bob's health these days?"
The Odious Bushell: "Er...he died, Alan."
* The Cronje Incident
He just never learned. In a pre-Cricket World Cup interview with TalkSport's cricket commentator...
Brazil: "Will Hansie be doing any commentaries for us during the World Cup?"
Cricket man: "Well not unless he's going to be doing them from the grave, Alan."
* The Boozy Prize
"Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s..."
* Commentary Classics
"He held his head in his hands as it flashed past the post."
"The tackles are coming in thick and thin."
"Roy Keane, his face punches the air..."
"...the Derby fans walking home absolutely silent in their cars."
* Memories Of Brazil
"One moment I'm playing football and the next - whack - I wake up in hospital unconscious."
* A Meeting Of Minds
Brazil: "I'm delighted to say we've got Sir Bobby Robson on the end of the phone, fresh from getting his knighthood at Buckingham Palace. Bobby, terrific news..."
Sir Bobby Robson: "What is?"
Brazil: "You know, getting the old sword on the shoulder from Prince Charlie."
Sir Bob: "Eh? [Long pause] Oh yeah...well, it was a day I'll never forget..."
* Brazil On Fergie
"The man is United through and through - cut him and he bleeds red."
* Keeping It In Perspective
The day after Wayne Rooney's debut hat-trick for Manchester United against Turkish side Fenerbahce, Brazil could think of little else...
Talksport newsreader: "Two bombs have exploded outside branches of the British Bank HSBC in Turkey..."
Brazil (excitedly interrupting him): "By the way, three more bombs were unleashed on Turkey last night..."
Newsreader (slightly embarrassed): "Yes, but it's not quite the same though."
* Some Brazil Ideas
Removing September 11 from the calendar? As in: "Let's not give those evil sodes that did this the satisfaction of having an anniversary for their deeds. Let's skip from the 10th straight through to the 12th." It was suggested that the rogue day would be added on to the end of September. Or possibly February.
Sinking the ship that was holding asylum-seekers off the coast of Australia. The BSC [Broadcasting Standards Commission] 'found that he had ignored human dignity and that his comment had gone beyond what was acceptable'.
* The Scotland/Faroe Islands Call
For once, not Brazil's fault but a genuinely funny moment on his and Mike Parry's breakfast show - the day after a 1-1 draw between Scotland and the Faroe Islands...
Alan Brazil: "We have Jim on the line who wants to discuss the Faroe Islands/Scotland game."
Jim: "Thanks...er yeah. Just want to say it's an absolute disgrace. I mean, we're playing probably the weakest side in world football and we can't do better than a draw."
Brazil: "It was a poor result?"
Jim: "Poor result! Poor result! It's absolutely scandalous. The manager has lost the plot completely, he's got to go. I know we've never set the world alight over the years on the international stage but I can't remember things being this bad. It's the end for us. The absolute end. I can't see us ever recovering from a setback like this. We're a complete laughing stock."
Parry: "Look, Jim, I know it seems bad now but there's still a long way to go. I can't see you qualifying for Euro 2004 but hopefully things will improve."
Jim: "I never expected for a moment we would qualify. I don't mind that so much. We're not good enough. But listen, to not qualify is one thing, but to fail to beat a team like Scotland is a different matter. It's a bitter blow for everyone here on the islands."
