Ryanair (near) death plane (2 Viewers)

[Dktr. Faustus]

finnair once served me a lunch which was supposed to be vegetarian mut looked quite dodgy, I'm glad I survived to tell this story

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

Do you drive around Dublin?
Your old biddy from Cavan... that's me after driving in town after closing time.
I'd prefer to risk my life with Ryanair once a week than deal with the
retards that drive around the city every day.
Rush hour is grand, they can't build up speed.
But once they get going over 30km/h it's like the Funderland dodgems.

really?? you must be rubbish at driving!

i was on a flight to new york a week after September 11 (2001!) and a bomb
threat was made against the plane. that was fairly scary - spppppoked!

 

[Goodbye]

Anyone here a member of the mile high club?

 

[flashback]

Ah, in fairness, I've been on some very suspect Ryanair flights.

There was the one that the plane basically landed sideways, and at angle to the runway.
We were all bricking it.
And then the pilot comes on and says, "Jaysus, if you thought that was scary you wanna see it out my window." Which was funny. And the landing was skillful. But dodgey? You Betcha!

Billy was telling me about a Ryanair flight he was on I think that the pilot roared into the intercom as the plane was barreling down the runway shaking like a mother fucker "RIGHT!... LET'S GET THIS BAG OF BOLTS IN THE AIR".

Why was your man burning fuel mid air anyway? Where's the logic in that like.

 

[muffin]

Same exact thing happened me in LAX many years ago.
Actual touchdown and screaming back up to the heavens.

The plane was so silent after this as we circled back for another landing. Everyone knew how close were were to calamity, yet no one breathed a word.

Delta flight.

Scary things never happen in a plane Nailer, we're all perfectly safe.

Me too!!Flying in to LAX from San Francisco! Everyone just was really quiet..No screaming or anything..I started crying..We just circled for ages and then the pilot said something about some other flight pulling in in front of us and almost killing us..Good times..

 

[Goodbye]

Me too!!Flying in to LAX from San Francisco! Everyone just was really quiet..No screaming or anything..I started crying..We just circled for ages and then the pilot said something about some other flight pulling in in front of us and almost killing us..Good times..

Its not surprising in a place like LAX really.
Mental airport.
Is it not the busiest on the planet or something.

 

[muffin]

I thought O'Hare was the busiest in the U.S.?

 

[Goodbye]

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

thankfully ive never had any dodgy flying experiences, i find take off terrifying at the best of times and dont think i could cope with anything out of the ordinary happening, except that if it did happen then what could i do? thats the worst bit, your just stuck in the fucking thing. one trick i have for calming my nerves is to look at the air stewards - if they dont seem too panicky then i can take comfort from that.

 

[the strange guy]

I flew in to Hong Kong in the middle of a typhoon.
An air stewardess was crying.
Maybe she was new?
After that my new standard was waiting to hear the pilot's death rattle.
No death rattle = all good.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

if she cries then i will most likely cry too. it must be normal enough to fly into a typhoon then or surely they would have diverted to somewhere calmer?

 

[the strange guy]

It wasn't meant to be a strong one, but it turned bad pretty much minutes from the runway.
I pretended to be calm which reassured my girlfriend, but I was totally shitting it.
It felt like being inside a toy shaken by an irate, snotty child.
Actually, now that I think of it, it was almost exactly like being in a very bad Ryanair flight.

 

[flashback]

when shit gets hairy, they lock the stewards down like everyone else.

The time I looked out the side window and saw the runway we were intending to land on I could see one steward. She was giggling like a maniac.
This brought me no comfort.

When we were getting off the plane, and gathering up our shit out of the lockers, she was still sitting there, no longer smiling though.

I had managed to sweat badness into my t shirt, and needed a change pronto.

 

[Danny_Mc]

Took an Aer Arrann flight from Donegal a while ago..all was going well up to the dreaded landing....

The plane shook and shimmied and kind of veered off to the left then the right....

People were looking around nervously and kind of half laughing until the first of those awful "drops" planes do when encountering turbulence...

Needless to say after a few more pants filling/bladder emptying aerobatics the pilot decided enough was enough and he told us all we were going to attempt a landing....

We hopped and bounced along the runway in a display that Barnes Wallace himself would have cringed at until eventually we came to a stop safe and sound and in one piece, whereupon a loud grateful cheer went up from all but one passenger...

this poor woman seated in in the aisle next to me was so scared she projectile vomited all over the back/head of the guy in front of her....

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

in fairness though, we have no business taking huge heavy things like planes into the sky. its asking for trouble

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I'd prefer to risk my life with Ryanair once a week than deal with the
retards that drive around the city every day.
.

Easier to survive a car crash than a plane crash.

 

[sweetoblivion]

this thread is making me feel VERY glad I booked a BMI flight instead of Ryanair for an impending trip to London....

Can't stand Ryanair - flew with them about 6 times in the last year and the last two trips were so bad I said 'never again'.

their landings are ridiculous - they just dump the plane down on the runway and they're always going too fast! Plus they'd probably charge you for the privilege of using the oxygen masks. The last time I flew, the plane did a huge drop and I got such a fright I thought I was going to be sick.....

Then I noticed they'd removed the sickbags.

Wankers.

 

[flashback]

I think I read somewhere that the number of survivors from plane crashes at sea is roughly zero.

Ie, you are ~guaranteed to be brown bread if you end up in the drink, and those life jackets are strictly for decoration.

 

[rettucs]

I think I read somewhere that the number of survivors from plane crashes at sea is roughly zero.

Ie, you are ~guaranteed to be brown bread if you end up in the drink, and those life jackets are strictly for decoration.

its one. Tom Hanks in Castaway for example

I did hear once that the only reason they ask you to put your head between your knees when you're going to crash is to make it easier to identify the body when you're head is removed from your neck. True story.

 

[Lili Marlene]

so is it true that they take off at a different, more dangerous, trajectory than other planes?
and also is it true that they don't use brakes, they instead put the wheels in reverse, which saves on brake fluid or something?