Guess what... (1 Viewer)

[Goodbye]

said to an old mate of mine

"giz an awl suck offa youwer mickey"

I diddent believe him till I met her

eww

there was other things he said she said that cannot be repeated here

 

[snakybus]

These are all true:

Overheard on the Dart:

"Ah jayz, he's gorgeous, I'd let him eat jelly ourra me gash enny time"

ha! ha!

overheard by a friend in Fairview, I think:

"Ah jayz Jacintat, if I don't start making some money soon I'll have to open the furry checkbook"

And not dirty but still funny, two ladies in Phibsborough, one across the road from the other in heavy traffic:

"Jacintat! C'mea!"

"Where are yeh?"

"Over hea! I'm not bleedin' invincible you know!"

Why so many Jacintas in this country?

I've also known girls called Dymphna, Assumpta, Concepta, Immaculata, Consumpta and Aborta.

 

[Goodbye]

Th' Wan used to work in an office with this girl who said that if a soldier is found outside his barracks not wearing his hat he could be done for bigamy... true fuckin story

 

[minka]

personal favourite overheard youngwanese:

"..so i said to her, if you say that again i'll reef the bleedin' streaks oura yer hair..."

 

[Rimbaud]

best

This has to be the best thread in ages!
More..!!!
Only one i can think of is:
When agreeing with something you don`t understand, just reply "I see says the blind man"....not really funny ..but..

 

[bob_jesus]

overheard on the way to work,

"jaysus, yer man's a bit weird. i reckon he's into alla tha' sms"

worst one recently overheard by a friend of mine when this other bloke was approached by a lapdancer at a "party" (i'm sorry in advance)

"not if yer rasher was free, love!"

 

[hop]

'jayz, i waz wankin so much, i nearly pulled de stomach oura meself'

 

[bob_jesus]

"jayzzzzus..he neerly knocked da hoop ourra me! it was grate"

or

"dancin'? ask me sistahw, i'm all sweh-he!" (dublin for, you must be really pissed, i even smell mingin'!)


!cheezy

 

[MDR]

A guy on my football team once said (unpatriotically) 'if Ireland were playing in me back garden i'd pull the curtains'

 

[bob_jesus]

...straying from jaysus-phrases...


a mother to her navel-fiddling daughter:
"don't mess with it darling, your bottom will fall off"

i've met an alarming number of people recently with belly-button piercings who (by coincidence?) were all told as kids that if they fiddled with their belly-button their bum would fall off. perhaps it's a safety-catch thing.

it used to scare the hell outta me!

now back to the good stuff:

Xmas, years ago in a toyshop in town, a woman pushes a buggy-full of screaming child in the door, stops and yells
"No, Santy's dead, roi'!?! he's fookin DEAD!" chaos followed.

hysterical...at the time.

 

[rumpus]

Screamed by a slapper on the top floor of the 29A, towards a group of loud spanish students:
"Go back to france yiz spanish cunts!"

"A fuckin bear wouldn't hug ye", or "ye wouldn't get a kick in a stampeed"

myth:
"Hold me bah'er burger...if he shifts me ye can ea'it."

yelled at me on the street in kilbarrack:
"Heeear mister - she's bent into you!!"

 

[Dan]

Overheard by a friend in a chipper in Galway:

Guy generally treating his girlfriend like shit.

"You don't love me , you never treat me proper"

"Wha? Sure I don't I buy ya chips!!"

 

[hop]

i was in the pub the other night and these two yungfellas were talking about the roide, specifically not being up to the task

'it was like tryin to play snooker wi' a rope'

i though that was class

 

[Goodbye]

Originally posted by Dan
Overheard by a friend in a chipper in Galway:

Guy generally treating his girlfriend like shit.

"You don't love me , you never treat me proper"

"Wha? Sure I don't I buy ya chips!!"

Thats an Old one... but the punchline that I heard was:
"Sher dont I fuck yeh and buy ye chips donneye"

Over heard at bus stop:
Two awle wans...
I hear bernies young one is gettin married.
Tis true as god.
Is she pregnant?
shes not.
oooh very posh!


Also the one who thought her fellah was a bit classy, when they went out for a romantic dinner for two, he carried her tray...

 

[1984]

My mates mam on seeing a neighbourhood girl who is pregnant:

"she's with child"

 

[#10-7]

Originally posted by hopper


'it was like tryin to play snooker wi' a rope'

ha ha!!

 

[hop]

you've probably heard this one before but its a classic for when its freezing cold out

A: Its Pearl Harbour out
B: Wha?
A: There's a nasty nip in the air

 

[Dan]

Theres rain promisht..

 

[billygannon]

She's a tome philly....

Aye... gates wide hi! Fine pair of scotch pegs....

Aye... and an FBD...

Aye... she'd take a shalp of the fat lad....

 

[Dan]

Jayz I'm hungry. I'd eat the arse off a low flying duck..