DAMN YOU FATHER!!!!! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!! (1 Viewer)

[piratecore]

i am a rather portly gentleman. Or a bloated beer swilling git depending on ones opinion. my father is in the same situation but with an extra 27 years of ciirhosis inducing liver abuse and over eating or fried foodstuffs. being the comedy genius that he is, he declares with a smug grin and a peroni in his chunny talon that he has entered us both along with some of his equally health conscious friends in a relay marathon and that we better start training a bit tomorrow cos its in two months. git. i am going to make him rue the day.

any ideas for revenge????

 

[jillface]

fist him

 

[piratecore]

good god woman you are sick

 

[jillface]

i know i know, my bad
i felt you were asking for it though



in all seriousness though, do it! i find swimming helps me get fit. a marathon? yeah i don't think so fren. but godspeed piratecore, godspeed.

 

[piratecore]

no its only a relay bit like 6 miles, it shouldnt be that hard

 

[jane]

You can walk it, you know. But the thing is, if you walk it, the thing you have to fear and loathe most is not people making fun of you. Oh no, that would be too easy. It will be people fucking cheering you in a really patronising fashion. People standing there going, "Good job! You're doing great! You'll get there!", spluttering out the same hackneyed phrases of encouragement they use for the women's 'mini-marathon', and when potty training toddlers.

You better get runnin' piratecore. Get running or you'll have to deal with arseholes clapping and cheering for you because you're walking down the road and, despite their good intentions and sincerity, you will want to punch them. If you can run past them, you will be rid of them sooner.

In all seriousness, and seriously though, there are loads of running threads on thumped and I'm sure between the lot of us we can give you some good tips. It's not that hard to get up to six miles.

Oh, and any idea what leg of the relay you're running?

The best revenge is that on the day, people will cheer him in a patronising manner. Make him run whatever leg of it has the greatest number of spectators. Find those spectators and spread a really embarrassing rumour about him that will cause them to sputter even more humiliating cliches of encouragement.

 

[Lili Marlene]

Good grief jane

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

Good grief jane

i thought it sounded reasonable

 

[ernesto]

put a saddle on his back and ride him like a donkey for a few miles

 

[Lili Marlene]

i thought it sounded reasonable

in retrospect I am the one who overreacted. Sorry jane

 

[the strange guy]

Off the top of my head...

Jizz in his tea.
Fuck his wife.
Male strippogram for his birthday.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

put laxative in his lucozade sport. he'll shit himself from the laxative

 

[Los Davos]

And be the male strippogram.

 

[HMD]

glue his hand to his mickey while he's asleep. it'll make a great story at family dos in years to come.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

cut off one of his hands

 

[HMD]

cut off one of his hands

then glue it to his mickey

 

[the strange guy]

Go to the cop shop and make a complaint about your Da touching
your sleeping balls when he comes in from the pub.
You can always drop the charges when he's learned his lesson.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

plant reams of child porn in his office then call the filth

 

[jillface]

fist him

i meant punch him by the way, fisticuffs like.
just in case you were confused.

 

[the strange guy]

I think fisting him would have brought them closer.
Barney wants to piss him off.