Bored in Work 70(x) (2 Viewers)

[pete]

ahhh spitting image

i remember it well

 

[highnigh]

http://www.minou.com/aboutsex/fellatio.htm
fellatio rules

 

[LMD64]

http://www.minou.com/aboutsex/fellatio.htm
fellatio rules

Hey, what, there's rules now? I thought it was just all about trying to suppress the gag reflex. And being careful with using your teeth. And not flossing for at least ten minutes beforehand. And washing under the skin (for the guys). Oooh, and not eating mints beforehand, that really stings.

 

[therealjohnny]

Happy Halloween
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0032/0032_01.asp

 

[Goodbye]

lucy liu = swoontastic!!

good god yeah... ssssssssssooooo beautiful rongtime

 

[Wheels]

What were his parents thinking....

 

[spectraljanitor]

Hey, what, there's rules now? I thought it was just all about trying to suppress the gag reflex. And being careful with using your teeth. And not flossing for at least ten minutes beforehand. And washing under the skin (for the guys). Oooh, and not eating mints beforehand, that really stings.

i think you need to wash out both yr mouth and your mind. such filth on thumped!

 

[nlgbbbblth]

lucy liu = swoontastic!!

I remain unconvinced about Lucy Toilet
Drew Barrymore is swoontastic

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Sunday Bloody Sunday
Well it was Sunday bloody Sunday
When they shot the people there
The cries of thirteen martyrs
Filled the Free Derry air
Is there any one amongst you
Dare to blame it on the kids?
Not a soldier boy was bleeding
When they nailed the coffin lids!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
You claim to be majority
Well you know that it's a lie
You're really a minority
On this sweet emerald isle
When Stormont bans our marches
They've got a lot to learn
Internment is no answer
It's those mothers' turn to burn!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
You anglo pigs and scotties
Sent to colonize the North
You wave your bloody Union Jack
And you know what it's worth!
How dare you hold to ransom
A people proud and free
Keep Ireland for the Irish
Put the English back to sea!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
Well, it's always bloody Sunday
In the concentration camps
Keep Falls Road free forever
From the bloody English hands
Repatriate to Britain
All of you who call it home
Leave Ireland to the Irish
Not for London or for Rome!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!
Sunday bloody Sunday
Bloody Sunday's the day!

 

[pete]

Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Don't Make Them Have To Take It Away
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Make Ireland Irish Today
Great Britian You Are Tremendous
And Nobody Knows Like Me
But Really What Are You Doin'
In The Land Across The Sea

Tell Me How Would You Like It
If On Your Way To Work
You Were Stopped By Irish Soliders
Would You Lie Down Do Nothing
Would You Give In, or Go Berserk

Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Don't Make Them Have To Take It Away
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Make Ireland Irish Today

Great Britian And All The People
Say That All People Must Be Free
Meanwhile Back In Ireland
There's A Man Who Looks Like Me

And He Dreams Of God And Country
And He's Feeling Really Bad
And He's Sitting In A Prison
Should He Lie Down Do Nothing
Should Give In Or Go Mad

Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Don't Make Them Have To Take It Away
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Make Ireland Irish Today

Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Don't Make Them Have To Take It Away
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Make Ireland Irish Today

 

[pete]

Top O' The Morning To Ya

She won't come, just when you want it

Ya see, I'm Irish, but I'm not a leprechaun
You wanna fight, then step up and we'll get it on
You gotta right to the grill, I'm white and I ill
A decendant of Dublin with titanic skill
I ducked and I swing, next thing your jaw's broken
Punk I ain't jokin', you can bet you'll be chokin'
On a fist full a nothin', meanwhile I'll be puffin'
On a fat blunt, run punk, you don't know the half
Tryin' to talk shit, man, please don't make me laugh
These Irish eyes are smilin', I'm buckwildin'
The House Of Pain is pumpin', start jumpin'
Freak it, funk it, back seat junk it
If you can't get with it, you'll wind up sweatin' it
Then you'll get a beatin' just like an egg
It's so hard to run when you've got a broken leg
But we can have a run off, the House Of Pain'll come off
We got the cake that you're tryin' to get a crumb off
The Irish stylee, the Celtic jazz
No one has it, just us that's it
If you try to take it, I got a big shileighly
I don't have dreads cause I shave my head daily
You call me a skin head, I call you a pin head
Yo, where you been man, just like the tin man
You got no heart, here comes the good part
I pick 'em, buck 'em, cut 'em up, and buck them down
No fuckin' around
Home boy ya get clown like Krusty, trust me
You shouldn't play, and by the way
Top o' the mornin' to ya

[Chorus]

(What's the hassle man?) Top o' the mornin' to ya [2x]
(Hey, are you givin' us a hassle man?)

Greetin's, salutations
Peace to the nations of Zulu and Islam
Crack the bottle, rev the throttle
Put the gear in, now you're stearin'
Like Mario Antretti
So let me kick it, cause I can make a wicked
Noise like a cricket
Rubbin' his legs, my rhymes are like eggs
I'll keep layin' 'em, I'll keep sayin' 'em
This is the House Of Pain, we're far from plain
But we're not fancy, Ron and Nancy
So just say no, but I say go
Straight to hell, I kiss and tell
So if you're a ho, all my friends know
What you gotta say, let's hit the hay
And have no delay, and yo, by the way
Top o' the mornin' to ya

[Chorus]

Extra extra, read all about it
How could ya doubt it?
Now scream and shout it!
The House Of Pain soon will reign
Over the hip hop scene and like golden green
I rip shit and back flip like a Jedi
I roll with the groove and I'm smooth and you can bet I
Come correct and get respect when I'm flowin'
Collectin my dough, I got you're girlfriend ho-in'
And how do I know that she's funk?
I know she's broke cause yo, the T's hung like a
Shetland pony, gettin' paid like Sony
So never ever try to play me out like a phony
Cause I can get real thick like a bull with Mark Toneil
And by the way, top o' the mornin' to ya

[Chorus]


Shamrocks & Shenanigans
I kicks the flava, like steven king writes horror

If I was a jew then I’d light a menorah
I got rhymes for ya, excuse me senora
Are you a hore or are you a lady?
Is it erica boyare or marcia brady?
Let me know hon, the deed’ll get done
Just assume the position, I’ll take my rod
And then I’ll go fishin’, I’ll get your river flowin’
When it comes to givin’ pleasure, I’m every woman’s treasure
I came to work your body, so let me do my job
I’ve never been laid off, my rhymin’ skill paid off
Cause now I’m makin’ records, now I’m makin’ tapes
Steady bustin’ suckers in bunches like grapes
Makin’ all the papes, scoopin’ up the loot
Puttin’ suckers on the run, pull my gun and then I shoot
I never been a front, I never a fraud
I gotta natural skill, for that I thank the lord
Cause I feel blessed, I’m casually dressed
I always got my gun, but I never wear a vest
I’m quick on the draw like the horse named mcgraw
From the cartoon boom sha lock lock boom

Chorus

(boom sha lock lock boom)
All right now
(boom sha lock lock boom)
A little louder
(boom sha lock lock boom)
Everybody
(boom sha lock lock boom)
All right now

Breaker, breaker, here comes the caper
Straight with the taper, the lyric skyscraper
Hit ya like a lyrical murderer
I know ya think I have, but yo
I never heard of ya
Just because you heard of me kid
Fuck around until you do the lifetime bid
I’ll put you in the dirt, and leave your ass for dead
When it comes to tools, t’s the sharpest in the shed
Cause I’m the 55 cadilac king
It ain’t no thing, my cargo ring
We’ll bust you in the crib
I got the skill, you gots to chill
Cause I bring doom, I got the boom sha lock lock boom

Chorus

I rock mad styles, I hop turnstiles
I rock all mikes, I last all night
I puff fat blunts, I rock fine scunts
Step up bo, I’ll kock out your gold fronts
Everlast, that’s my name
My unique rhyme style’s my claim to fame
The house of pain’s the name of my clip
You can’t be down, punk, get off my dick
You make me sick, like strawberry quik
Your style is wack, you ain’t the mac
So yo step back, get off the crack
And sing a new tune like boom sha lock lock boom

Chorus (2x)

 

[nlgbbbblth]

wicked

 

[nlgbbbblth]

The Luck of the Irish

If you had the luck of the Irish
You'd be sorry and wish you were dead
You should have the luck of the Irish
And you'd wish you was English instead!


A thousand years of torture and hunger
Drove the people away from their land
A land full of beauty and wonder
Was raped by the British brigands! Goddamn! Goddamn!

If you could keep voices like flowers
There'd be shamrock all over the world
If you could drink dreams like Irish streams
Then the world would be high as the mountain of morn

In the 'Pool they told us the story
How the English divided the land
Of the pain, the death and the glory
And the poets of auld Eireland

If we could make chains with the morning dew
The world would be like Galway Bay
Let's walk over rainbows like leprechauns
The world would be one big Blarney stone

Why the hell are the English there anyway?
As they kill with God on their side
Blame it all on the kids the IRA
As the bastards commit genocide! Aye! Aye! Genocide! If you had the luck of the Irish
You'd be sorry and wish you was dead
You should have the luck of the Irish
And you'd wish you was English instead!
Yes you'd wish you was English instead!

 

[pete]

In my memory I will always see
The town that I have loved so well
Where our school played ball by the gasyard wall
And we laughed through the smoke and smell
Going home in the rain running up the dark lane
Past the jail and down beside the fountain
Those were happy days in so many many ways
In the town I loved so well

In the early morn the shirt factory horn
Called women from Creggan, the Moor and the Bog
While the men on the dole played a mothers role
Fed the children and then walked the dog
And when times got rough, there was just about enough
But they saw it through without complaining
For deep inside was a burning pride
for the town I loved so well

There was music there in the Derry air
Like a language that we could all understand
I remember the day when I earned my first pay
as I played in a small pickup band
There I spent my youth and to tell you the truth
I was sad to leave it all behind me
For I'd learned about life and I'd found a wife
In the town I loved so well

But when I returned how my eyes were burned
To see how a town could be brought to it's knees
By the armoured cars and the bombed out bars
And the gas that hangs on to every breeze
Now the army's installed by that old gasyard wall
And the damned barbed wire gets higher and higher
With their tanks and guns
Oh my God, what have they done
To the town I loved so well

Now the music's gone but they carry on
For their spirit's been bruised, never broken
Oh, they'll not forget still their hearts are set
On tomorrow and peace once again
Now what's done is done and what's won is won
And what's lost is lost and gone forever
I can only pray for a bright brand new day
In the town I loved so well

 

[pete]

Drama as fowl faints on stage
By Kylie Stockdale
October 20, 2003


A STAGESTRUCK chicken had to be dragged off after it collapsed during a St James Players production.

Ron Hamilton said the hen fainted, presumably from stage fright, during a dress rehearsal of Johnny Belinda.

He told the crowd at the recent performing arts Townsville Yarns the chicken had a piece of string tied to its leg to stop it from straying.

Unfortunately the fowl passed out just inside the set, which meant every actor had to step over it to get on stage.

Rather than spoil the drama by someone merely walking on stage to collect the traumatised animal, the crew removed it by dragging it slowly off-stage by the string.

Mr Hamilton said the dress rehearsal was well attended by pensioners who had the chance to see the show for free.

The ill-fated chicken was the director's second failed attempt at obtaining the authentic sound of hens for the opening scene of the play, which was set in a poor farming community in Canada.

The previous rehearsal he had put two black hens on stage, again with strings tied around their legs. But the pair got the sack after they kept walking off the set.

Mr Hamilton said St James Players was established in 1952 to promote theatre and raise money to pay for the restoration of the organ in St James Cathedral.

He said the introduction of television in the mid 1950s had a hugely negative impact on member numbers and crowds.

The St James Players eventually joined the Townsville Theatrical Society, as did fellow theatre group the Townsville Genesians. The amalgamated theatre group became the Townsville Little Theatre in 1969.

Townsville Bulletin

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7611973%255E13762,00.html

 

[Keeror]

Today's puzzle: what was this song before it got translated into latin and back again?

De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Mixaloti equitis

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)

amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
en! quam exstant! nonne piget te earum?
(Lo! How they stand forth! Do they not disgust you?)
ecce mulier Aethiops!
(Behold the black woman!)

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
(Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
(For who, colleagues, would not admit,)
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
(Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
(Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius
(So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)
clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse
(Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)
a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.
(Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)
o dominola mea, volo tecum congredi
(My dear lady, I want to come together with you)
pingereque picturam tui.
(And make a picture of you.)
familiares mei me monebant
(My companions were trying to warn me)
sed clunes istae libidinem in me concitant.
(But those buttocks of yours arouse lust in me.)
o! cutis rugosa glabraque! (*2)
(O skin wrinkled and smooth!)
dixistine te in meum vehiculum intrare velle?
(Did you say you wish to enter my vehicle?)
in arbitrio tuo totus veni
(I am entirely at your disposal)
quia non es mediocris adsecula.
(Because you are not an average hanger-on.)
vidi illam saltantem.(*3)
(I have seen her dancing.)
obliviscere igitur blanditiarum! (*3a)
(Forget, therefore, about blandishments!)
tantus sudor! tantus umor!
(Such sweat! Such moisture!)
vehor quasi in curru quadrigarum! (*4)
(I am borne along as if by a four-horse chariot!)
taedet me in diurnis legendi
(I am tired of reading in the gazettes)
planas clunes gratiores iudicari.
(That flat buttocks are judged more pleasing.)
rogate quoslibet Aethiopes: responsum erit
(Ask any black men you wish: the answer will be)
se libentius expletiores (*5) anteponere.
(Rather that they prefer fuller ones.)
o consortes (quid est?) o consortes (quid est?)
(O colleagues [What is it?] O colleagues [What is it?])
habent amicae vestrae magnas clunes? (certe habent!)
(Do your girlfriends have large buttocks? [They certainly have!])
hortamini igitur ut eas quatiant (ut quatiant!)
(Encourage them therefore to shake them! [To shake them!])
ut quatiant! (ut quatiant!)
(To shake them! [To shake them!)
ut quatiant illas clunes sanas!
(To shake those healthy buttocks!)
domina mea exstat a tergo! (*6)
(My mistress stands out behind!)

[Etc.]

 

[The Chilli King]

Isn't that Sir Mixamus Maximus's 'Baby got bachus'?

 

[Keeror]

Isn't that Sir Mixamus Maximus's 'Baby got bachus'?

It cetainly is.
Read the original lyrics here:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~denisg/music/12-20e.htm

 

[pete]

The confession brought an end to a five-year losing streak funded by money stolen from term deposit accounts and foreign currency notes held by the bank. Faithfull used the bank's computers to transfer this purloined money into an online betting account with Darwin-based International All SportsBet (IASBet).

Up to $400,000 a week would be transferred to this account, making Faithfull easily IASBet's biggest punter. Despite massive bets - averaging AUD20,000 - often placed on long shots, none of Faithfull's bets were refused.

"Faithfull's bets were so erratic they were a joke - if they weren't so big. That made them scary," a former IASBet employee said. "He bet on up to 20 races on a Saturday. He'd put a lot of money on no-hopers at long odds. Sometimes two in the same race."

The Age quotes staff who said it was "common knowledge" among IASBet staff that Faithfull was a bank manager.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/33502.html

 

[pete]

Jim Carrey on for Six Million role
Jim Carrey is to star in the big screen adaptation of 70s TV classic 'The Six Million Dollar Man'.

Variety says the film will be based on the Martin Caidin source novel 'Cyborg' and will be directed by 'Old School' helmer Todd Phillips.

It is expected that the film will go into production in the autumn of next year.

Before that, Carrey will complete work on the remake of 'Fun With Dick and Jane' with Cameron Diaz while Phillips will focus on the remake of 'School for Scoundrels'.

oh dear.