Bored in Work 195 (1 Viewer)

[Spam Javelin]

 

[evil bandit]

Stevie G a true scouse gentleman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHBSf2hJehA&search=%20woman%20fainting

 

[ms.b.haven]

Deadly

 

[Lord Damian]

Deadly

what am i looking at?

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

still from ghostbusters 2

 

[ms.b.haven]

You're looking at Chicago and how they dyed their river green for paddies day

what am i looking at?

 

[Stan Bowles]

[video=google;7844301893858876939]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7844301893858876939&q=the+mighty+boosh[/video]

 

[dAndAn]

 

[dudley]

Mitch Hedbergs

A waffle is like a pancake with syrup traps. It says to the syrup "You ain't goin' anywhere!"

Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.


Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes. That's a showbiz term for "add sugar to."


I bought a scratch-off lottery ticket, but then I accidentally spilled calamine lotion on it, so it did not need to be scratched. Shoot! I will not know if I have won!


I bought myself a parrot. The parrot talked. But it did not say, "I'm hungry,"... so it died.


I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first, to see if she would read that too.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.

I saw a wino; he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude - you have to wait!"

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same. "What's a giraffe taste like?" "A hippopotamus! I had 'em back-to-back!"

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.


I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

I was in a convenience store reading a magazine and the clerk came up to me and said, "This is not a library." So I said, "All right, I will talk louder then!"

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!."

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

This guy asked me if I wanted a frozen banana and I said, "No... but I would like a regular banana later, so... yeah."

This one guy said, "Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt." I said, "Yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently!"

 

[Lord Damian]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

reminds me of Steven Wright...

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

 

[rampz]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

this is just too much.

 

[RSJ]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

Pity mitch died, though it was no surprise, see that special he did where he had to sit down for about the last 20 mins? Fucked up.

 

[Lord Damian]

hot off the press...

 

[dudley]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

ye should all download one of his albums or dvds. the actual delivery is pretty amazing

 

[ICUH8N]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

I have one of his albums. It's OK. What I RLY want are some lenny bruce albums. Queue up your wax, kids. Preferably into mp3 format.

 

[ICUH8N]

 

[Jamesy Yakuza]

Re: Mitch Hedbergs

Ahh,,, poor mitch,,,

"I'd piss off a Irish dude and have him chase me to Subway...

'I'm sorry, you're out if your juristication"

"Stay the hell away from me Frampton, I ain't got shit to say to you"

"You gotta leave at eleven, 'cos your're not sleeping in the fuckin' chair!"

RIP Mitch

 

[La La]

there's always time for mr tourettes. anyway, it's been a while........

.........and other Modern Toss

..........and everyone's favourite

 

[La La]

Re: I think we are all forgetting what day it is today!!

so did all you fellas get a steak and blow job when you went home?


or a tin of beans and a wank..........

 

[evil bandit]

Re: I think we are all forgetting what day it is today!!

There's a farm just down the road from me so I forced my cock in a pigs mouth then eat him after ............. two birds with one stone .|..| .|..| .|..|