Bored in Work 146 (1 Viewer)

[Cormcolash]

this might be of interest to some of yiz - Rowdy Roddy Piper & Hulk Hogan being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame last saturday night.

http://thumped.com/filezzz/WWE.Hall.of.Fame.2005.wmv
Worth it if only to see the big show having a bit of an auld cry in the audience...

Class, Rowdy Roddy Piper fuckin RULES!!!

 

[Theseus Mock]

The pope mobile...

 

[Theseus Mock]

heh

http://www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijk.com/

 

[avernus]

fucking screwer

 

[taubstumm]

http://www.yagoohoogle.com/

 

[broken arm]

this goes really well with that gabba and hardcore i'm listening to right now

 

[broken arm]

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...read on.

Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)


Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a*se waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my t5sticles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled b0llock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important t5sticle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care; it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were sh!t, that they had attained the holy p!ss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of b4stards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended r5ctum incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom – w4nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat’s litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of tw4ts.

 

[avernus]

 

[Cormcolash]

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...read on.

We've already been through this, the guy that wrote the letter is a mate of mine!

 

[broken arm]

We've already been through this, the guy that wrote the letter is a mate of mine!

sorry. will this make up for my blunderbusting?

 

[Cormcolash]

Yeah pretty much. Borat is amazing!

 

[avernus]

 

[avernus]

my girlfriend wants to try golden showers. if you dont know what thet is it means she wants me to piss on her, i dont think im going to enjoy this much.

last year when i was a senior in highschool i bought a hit of acid off my one friend to try it, but i never got up the balls to take it. so last week when i was cleaning my room it fell out of my cabinet, and since it was a year ago i put it there, i thought nothing of it. so sunday night my dog comes running into my room really fast and smashes its head up against the wall and dies right infront of me. i ran into the bathroom and the acid wasnt there. i dont know what to do.

im actually jacking off right now

My favorite fantasy is where I cut a guys penis off. I would then hang him from a tree and glue his penis in his mouth while he tried to call for help.

I am pretty sure that Christianity is a crock of shit.

I can't tell anybody I know because my Dad is a minister and we live in a very fundy area.

Stupid Christians.

I HATE the police.

I work at a coffee shop and they come in all the time. And I always spit in their coffee.

I hope all those stupid pigs get shot in the head by some serial killer.

I'm a goalie for a men's hockey team. The captain of the team is a slightly overweight portly sort of guy who is, despite his bad knees, an amazing hockey player. I wonder if he knows I love him? I love to stare at him as he plays the game in front of me. He's so delicious, playing with the puck. I don't care for him much off the ice or in the shower, just on the ice. Okay, perhaps in the shower too. I'm just a good teammate I guess.

I have a problem when I am out in public but no one is looking, I like to jizz on things.
Its sick I know but at the time I get a huge laugh out of it. Sometimes I'll hang around and wait for someone to discover the "mess" which makes me laugh even more.
And I'll do it anywhere on anything, like I'll do it on books in a book store, on the hand rail of stairs, in the hardware section of a store, anywhere.

I don't really know what the cause of it all is. Like I said, after I've emptied my sack I feel disgusted by it. I've tried to find out why I do it but I come up with nothing. I had a normal upbringing. I first had sex at the age of 16, and I did not masturbate before my first time.
I can't even say I like masturbating because after I've done it I just feel ashamed.

Help me!

hahaha best website ever!!


http://grouphug.us/

 

[plug]

"they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture"

heheh. fucking. brilliant.

cormcolash, your friend is an utter, utter genius. genius I tells ya!

edit (avernus' post above):

"when polka music comes on, my panties instantly drop. I love fucking to a good polka."

wow, more genius. reptastic. I'm out though, until tomorrow. classic...

 

[avernus]

I do not want my roommate dead... but he is not back from his weekend away and I LOVE THAT!

I NEVER WANT HIM TO COME BACK!

I think I could deal with him dying... but I don't want him to die... Do I?

some of this shit is like Jack Handy - its amazing!!

 

[avernus]

Super Mario

http://www.monkeymofo.com/flash/mario_oh.swf

This made my evening.

 

[Cormcolash]

heheh. fucking. brilliant.

cormcolash, your friend is an utter, utter genius. genius I tells ya!

An insane genius perhaps, but genius nonetheless!

 

[Jimmy Magee]

Re: reinforcing what you are

I got a good laugh out of this...quality

 

[avernus]

Re: reinforcing what you are

haha deadly

 

[pete]

Seven weeks before its release, "Star Wars" fanatics started lining up outside Grauman's Chinese Theater for the sixth installment of the popular George Lucas movie series. The vigil began Saturday.

But there's a problem: "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith" won't be showing at the Hollywood landmark when the movie is released May 19. The studio, 20th Century Fox, opted instead to open the film a mile away at the ArcLight theater.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/06/starwars.fanatics.ap/index.html