best classroom heckle (2 Viewers)

[Eddie Gorilla]

They play "Penis" instead of "Bollocks" instead of our school.
Same rules apply.

Slipping subtle curses into sentences is always fun too.
"Miss, do we've to cock do all of them?"
"But if you use the fannies Sine Rule it doesn't work out!"
"Sir, d'ya know that penis cabbage comprehension we had to do? How long does that cock have to be?"

See also;
Bagging - emptying someones bag, turning it inside out, putting everything back in, and closing it.

 

[classic seanc]

Student - "Sir! I know the licence plate of your car!"

Teacher - "Oh, what is it Parker?"

Student - "98 G
Q-U-E-E-R"

Teacher - "Get out of my class"

 

[evil bandit]

See how many different desks you can sit at until you were noticed was always a good one, or play the "formula one car noise" humming game that travelled around the class but you really can't beat a well time fart.

We had a very small Irish teacher so we used to put his dust and chalk on top of the black board nothing funnier then a small man having to get up on his chair for his chalk.

Or if your teacher uses an over head projector then just draw a massive cock on it and see it get projected even bigger on the board above them.

 

[wild_cat]

My maths class is gold for pure student ignorance, I sit beside a girl called Niamh and she asks her random dirty questions the whole time,

Niamh ; Miss, do you have a fangeta?
Teacher: Niamh stop at me!

Niamh: Miss, did you see that program on channel 4 last night?
Teacher: I dont have it what was it?
Niamh: Miss this one was RIDDDEENN her dog on it, its called beastality miss , aint it rotten.

Niamh: Looking awful hot there miss, the change is it?




Niamh: miss, Roisin wants to know what a blow job is?

Niamh told her to fuck off yesterday and ended up down with the principal.

Niamh: Miss you better give me a good report tomorrow or my da will bate me!!
Teacher: Miss Nagle told me you said that to her last year!
Niamh: oh right.

We've also had competitions to see who can feel this womans head for the longest before she notices.


Last year we played a game like the bollocks game in business, cept we used the teachers name, her name was Phil. So we would say Phil really loudly and if she caught you, you would say "my mind with business" really quickly. was funny last year anyewya.

 

[Eddie Gorilla]

On my 2nd week in first year we made our French teachers' desk explode.
True story.

There's still a tea-stain on the floor from where his cup smashed.

The new thing in my Geography class these days is, basically, shouting "FUCK OFFFF" in strong Dublin accents every few minutes.

There was that substitute teacher that everyone used to throw their shoes at..and the one who made the mistake of tellin' us his first name..
"Here, Paddy, how'd you do Q1??"
"Eh, it's Mr. Walsh, actually..heh..eh..Q1 was it?"
"Yeh! Jaysus Paddy it's an absolute cunt!"

And, as with every other school on the planet, loud sex noises are always good.

 

[theweeyin]

No. Just no.

 

[classic seanc]

har har har.

What's the best heckles you've heard theweeyin?

 

[theweeyin]

When pupils are asked to move or do something: "nah, yer alright, miss"

As I am a Scot in an english school...."Haggis", "can you play the bagpipes miss?", several imitations of my accent etc.

 

[theweeyin]

School is a hilarious place alright

 

[classic seanc]

You could always quit and get a job in an office.



You're a scot? say "chocolate"

 

[Cormcolash]

We used to play "Try and set the teacher on fire"
also "Suck the gas from the pipe in the chemistry lab until you pass out"
also "throw the teacher's car keys out the window"
also "Pour a full bottle of concentrated hydrochloric acid all over the desk to see what happens" (lots of acrid smoke which lasts for about half-an-hour)
Also "use the bunsen burner as a flame thrower"
also "throw the biggest bit of sodium you can get into that bowl of water over there"
also "Shout "BEEENNNN!" at the teacher over and over from different parts of the class so he can't figure out who did it last"
also "take the piss out of the kid who tries to be dynamic in English class when reading The Crucible out loud by getting the part of John Proctor and shouting as loud as you can every time he is meant to get angry"

Fuck school was great fun.

 

[mackle]

We used to play "Try and set the teacher on fire"
also "Suck the gas from the pipe in the chemistry lab until you pass out"
also "throw the teacher's car keys out the window"
also "Pour a full bottle of concentrated hydrochloric acid all over the desk to see what happens" (lots of acrid smoke which lasts for about half-an-hour)
Also "use the bunsen burner as a flame thrower"
also "throw the biggest bit of sodium you can get into that bowl of water over there"
also "Shout "BEEENNNN!" at the teacher over and over from different parts of the class so he can't figure out who did it last"
also "take the piss out of the kid who tries to be dynamic in English class when reading The Crucible out loud by getting the part of John Proctor and shouting as loud as you can every time he is meant to get angry"

Fuck school was great fun.

You'd well know your from Belfast like.

I remember we had this old lad in for French was while the real French teacher was away. We all thought we was a bit deaf so one of the girls turned around and called him a cunt thinking he wouldnt say anything. Turns out he wasnt too deaf after all he just didnt care that much. Though his reply was something like "you call me a cunt young lady, just say that when your gonna probably get pregnant and be a housewife for the rest of your life". Kinda put her in her place

 

[Anthony]

you bastards.

 

[theweeyin]

You could always quit and get a job in an office.



You're a scot? say "chocolate"

How about "curly wurly" or indeed " all the squrruls in the woruld"?

 

[classic seanc]

deadly

 

[La La]

someone managed to sneak a fart machine into the staff room. we had the remote all day and could be anywhere in the building, and it would go off. that was a funy one

 

[It Will Never Last]

The bollocks game is always fun

We used to play the Mexican Sheep game, same thing only you baa-ed like a sheep.

Also used to do Mexican Waves all the time in geography.

I saw Mr Fahy a few years later (after he'd moved to another school), he looked terrifed when he saw me...wonder why?

Oh, used to play Play Your Cards Right in German every time the mad bitch turned her back, there was nowt funnier than screaming "higher than a 5 you say"

 

[wild_cat]

someone managed to sneak a fart machine into the staff room. we had the remote all day and could be anywhere in the building, and it would go off. that was a funy one

That reminds me in primary school, there was 11 of us in 6th class in total being a country school and all. There was two boys and nine girls in the class and one day the two guys bought in a fart box and one break all of us spent around 10 minutes tapein the fart box to a chair at the back of the class room, we had a real old school teacher , you know the type that was more for bating than anything else. So it was really quite and one of the lads let it off , next minute the loudest scream ive ever heard was let "DORAN DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WAS?" , trying not to laugh one of the chaps went , sir, I dunno sir, David lost that ealier, we've all been looking for it all day. "FIND IT NOW DORAN" , then the teacher threw all the books off the lads table.

 

[Lord Damian]

minor leaguers.

i went to high school with a bunch of young toughs who were regularly in and out of PRISON. heckling teachers?? these fuckers would threaten them with bodily harm. and they were bruisers.

personally, i got off on sticking metal objects into electrical sockets and shutting down power to the entire floor.

i also once called my chemistry teacher a bastard, but it was under my breath, and i was at home at the time.

 

[Cormcolash]

Oh yeah another good game was in drama class when you had to write a play of some sort, we'd always write a play where one person at some point just gets the fuck bate out of them, then when you had to act it out everyone would just jump on top of him and start beating the shit out of him, pretty funny!