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Best present, this email "Hello Baby Jesus,We at Thumped would like to wish you a happy birthday today!"

i'm pretty excited about my birthday tomorrow, i wonder what i'll get this year? any suggestions of incest or frankenstein will not be taken lightly.

Re: the importance of being a dick my dad's a cheeky bastard

Am I too late? Have I missed my thread? Don't bother with that bullshit diet. I only ate that crap when I couldn't get my hands on some decent booze. Hey broken arm, you're looking a little rough today, but I do have some VERY fond memories of our time "together". You should give me a call.;)

i'm strangely drawn to the moving boobs. mama.

i'm right here! why do i feel like everyone ignores me all the time?

nope it wasn't me. i'm not very musical really.

this makes baby jesus cry. giving away children's toys at christmas is not very nice. there are lots of other ways to deal with bold children, being a good parent is usually the best start.

i got the usual, gold, frankincense and myrrh. my only complaint is the smell of donkey shit, it's putting me off my dinner a bit.

i'm glad to hear it. i just had so many people praying for snow this year that i thought, fuck it, i'd love a quiet morning in front of the box, maybe they'll leave me alone if i make it snow.

Ahem........