there's a mouse, loose, about my house. (3 Viewers)

[pad]

ahem.
yes.
we have a little unwelcome furry friend. it appears he is rather smart too and managed to take the ham off the trap and then escape unscathed. anybody have any ideas on how to get rid of mice?

 

[Squiggle]

Butter on the trap instead... can't be taken off in one piece.

 

[Dr Winston Umbogo]

shoot the bastard.

 

[Goff]

Put the traps against the wall, two of them, side by side. They sometimes jump the traps but they'll get caught in the other. Put some in the hot press while you're at it (That's important).

If you want, you can sprinkle talcum powder along where you think he's going. You'll see the tracks. Check for droppings.

Chocolate. Or better yet, peanut butter. Something that'll make the fucker keep his nose in the trap. They love peanut butter. But any owl' squishy chocolate will do.

Don't use meat or rashers. They go hard and brittle and are easy for them to take without getting caught. You'll wake up with the food gone and the trap still set.


Most imporatntly, search for ways they're getting in to the gaff and plug them up.

Don't bother with those ultrasonic or electromagnetic yokes. They don't work. They get used to the sounds quickly. If they worked on mice, they'd work on us.


Don't use poison as they'll smell up the gaff, as they'll crawl off somewhere safe to die where you can't find them.

Cover all food.

 

[pad]

Butter on the trap instead... can't be taken off in one piece.

really? will they go for that?

 

[Squiggle]

really? will they go for that?

Yep, grew up on a farm... was the best thing we found. As Goff said, cheese meat etc goes hard and falls off.

 

[Goff]

really? will they go for that?

They'll eat anything.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

shoot the bastard.

or stick a lit german banger up his hole. Both should work.

My mate had a mouse in his place a few years ago and he put a bit of a foxs classic bar in the trap and within a few hours he got the little scamp.

 

[La La]

"ver is dat mowse? i vill chess him into de gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhden"

 

[Goff]

I remember we had one still alive after he caught his nose in the trap. The noise of it was horrific as he banged off the pipes. My mother rang me and asked me would I mind killing it when I got home as she couldn't bring herself to do it. Agreeing, I arrived home. She had left a pair of rubber gloves, a plastic bag and a hammer for me. Talk about a murder kit.

So I went up to the hot press to find him. She had put yellow Michael Guiney's tape across the door, in a "Crime Scene - Do Not Cross" effect.

My ma's gas.

 

[dAndAn]

We got our rodent friend with some mars bar. No shit. Poor bugger lying there with chocaleh all over his stupid dead mouth.

Tis what the hardware dude recommended.

 

[Dr Winston Umbogo]

kick its face off.

 

[dAndAn]

Hide behind the couch then when he comes out punch the head off it

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

Buy a cat, get it to eat the mouse then drown the cat. That'll teach the mouse.

 

[Zeelander]

Hey shitheads, you can get mouse traps in hardware stores that simply capture the mouse safely rather than kill it. That way you can release it somewhere far away from your house rather than murder it for having the audacity to outsmart you.

 

[Dr Winston Umbogo]

do a goodfellas on it.

 

[avernus]

We had mice in my house a few years back. I decided humane traps were the way forward. I caught several and set them free down by the valley in Swords. I felt well disposed toward the meece and they I. That was soon to change. Their presence in my house increased exponentially. They were everywhere. I couldn't eat, sleep or exist. They were in the food, they were on the counter. Oh they were EVERYWHERE. Talk was cheap. Violence was the answer. And so the war began. There was blood, screams and slow quiet deaths. I regretted killing every one of those damned mouses, but if they were going to stay then they had to leave in a body bag.

Slowly, I began to eat again. I could sleep and I could be in my house without feeling like I was bathing in piss and shit. The mice were finally gone. If they ever come again, I'll be waiting and this time there won't be any motherfucking humane traps.

 

[plug]

alternatively, localise your mouse in one room, take all the furniture off the floor, get a jam jar, chase the little fucker around the room until you catch him, then release him outside somewhere. I did this in my parents' gaff before... twice. speedy little bastards. be prepared to run around in circles for at least a couple of hours.

top tip: a mouse in a jar can be a useful tool when terrorising little sisters.

 

[dAndAn]

Hey shitheads, you can get mouse traps in hardware stores that simply capture the mouse safely rather than kill it. That way you can release it somewhere far away from your house rather than murder it for having the audacity to outsmart you.

I hear ya. I didn’t like the way he was killed. The trap didn’t come down on his neck like i thought it would; it came down on his chest and id say the poor shitebag struggled for a bit, albeit with a beautifully alien taste of chocolate in his mouth.

So to relieve the guilt of this ghastly death somewhat we presented the dead mouse to the stray cat that patrols the back gardens on the road. He didn’t eat it. Prick.

Do cats really eat mice is what I’m thinking? Anyone ever witnessed such an act?

 

[Squiggle]

A few years ago my second or third night in a new apartment I was woken from peaceful slumbers at around 3am.

Thump.... Thump.... Thump... then silence for about 10 seconds.

Just deciding not to investigate...

Thump.... Thump... more silence this time for longer

Ah, can't be anything...

Thump... Thump... Thump... Thump...

After this happened 4 or 5 times I got up to investigate. Turn on the sitting room light. Thump... Thump... Thump... and the swingbin in the kitchen rocking slightly in time.

Open the lid... stunned mouse shakes himself back to lucidity and commences bouncing himself off the sides of the bin until he knocks himself unconscious again.

5 floors up so out the window seems cruel... not going to get dressed and wander down the stairs (some unsavoury types camped out in the stairwells at night). I blame sleep deprivation (or perhaps depravity) for what I did next. I drowned the mouse. He swam for about 5 seconds and then just died.