Turning into a caricature of stage Irishness the moment you leave the country (1 Viewer)

[jillface]

here's another:

a friend of mine was walking through phibsboro last year when a car full of "scobes" drove by, shouting out the window "here luv, you're like lego you are................. YOU'RE IN BITS"

brilliant

 

[flashback]

ha ha.

Me and my mate were on the way back from somewhere Galway I think, and we driving through Maynooth for some reason.
Anyway, it was late, and we had been driving for a bit (on bikes) so, we just sat up in the traffic waiting for the lights to change.
There were about 5 shiney tracksuit crew in a blingy Ford Mondeo a car up from us. Just at those lights there was a snooker club, that used to be heavily frequented by proper SKINs. And lots of them.
So, anyway, one of the skins is sauntering in to the snooker club, and a massive torrent of abuse floods out of the car, just as the lights went green.

The shiney tracksuit brigade attempt to do a squeely tyre exit, arses hanging out the window etc.

Except they stalled.

Mr Skinhead gives a quick shout into the club, and about 12 skins come pouring out. A number of them were tooled up to some extent.

Shiney tracksuit brigade is desperately trying to restart the car, but, he has flooded it in his excitement.

Skinheads begin to batter seven shades of scuttery shite out of blinging Ford Modeo. Myself and my mate decided it would be best to exit stage left when they pulled the spoiler off the back of it, and started battering the car with that.

I was basically cracking up till I got off the M50. .|..|

 

[Doctor Muscles]

A mate went to Italia '90 when he was a kid. During a match they were waiting in line at some food stall. The chap in front of them got to the counter and enquires to the Italian behind it "Ham sandwich?". The Italian chap shakes his head and says no inglese or something. Upon seeing this the chap had the fantastic idea of slowing down to a crawl his request: "Haaaam Saaaandwich? Haaaam Saaandwich?"

He didn't get a ham sandwich.

 

[Catwoman]

Can't believe nobody's mentioned 'yokes' yet. Was in a pub with a lad from Cavan who uses the word when referring to ecstacy tablets, women and various other things. Some Dutch people were with him, and they looked perplexed.

 

[RSJ]

Mercyful hour!

 

[avernus]

"Haaaam Saaaandwich? Haaaam Saaandwich?"

He didn't get a ham sandwich.

they never do..

 

[pete]

holy divine mother of lamp-lightin jaysus

cat

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

holy divine mother of lamp-lightin jaysus

cat

lord lanterin jayzus confused: lord lantern jayzus)
be de leppin jayzis
jayzis tonight!
tonight!

 

[roxy]

"stoned immaculate" was one I heard today.

Odd.

 

[Charlie Bucket]

"stoned immaculate" was one I heard today.

Odd.

"ride me sideways" was another one...

 

[Mormon Nailer]

this is complete cuntoligy

 

[Charlie Bucket]

cuntish weather
gomie

 

[Hector Grey]

some bloke stuck in traffic shouting at the dude behind him, who was honking wantonly, "i can't turn backwards, up the fuck"

up the fuck.
or just...the fuck.

as in, what's for breakfast, the fuck.

ot also, to fuck.

as in, get your own breakfast, to fuck.

now that's irish as fuck.

 

[billygannon]

I work with an Indian guy called Sham [sic].

Pronouncing the letter "R" as "or" has caused me endless problems. That, and institutional racism.

 

[flashback]

Pronouncing the letter "R" as "or" has caused me endless problems. That, and institutional racism.

Oh for fuck's sake.
I get that too. Americans think its the funniest thing ever. OR!!! ho ho ho, what do you mean? SAY IT AGAIN!!!
AGAIN!!

Endless mirth results. Like fucking Tickle me Elmo.

BURN AMERICA.

I generally reply with direct insult; mixed in with, "see those leaves you add to food to make it taste nice, they are called Herbs. Herbs. Thats why they spelled it with a H. And planes are made of ALUMINIUM."

Or similar.

 

[billygannon]

I generally reply with direct insult; mixed in with, "see those leaves you add to food to make it taste nice, they are called Herbs. Herbs. Thats why they spelled it with a H. And planes are made of ALUMINIUM."

Or similar.

Here... my boss is a young fella, like myself, from ireland... from the North. The "other side" if you will. Anyway, he was telling me that once a group of blokes approached him and asked him to say the letter "H". If he pronounced it like a Taig, they'd beat him up. He just told them to fuck off. They beat him up.

 

[classic seanc]

Here billygannon, do people come up to you and talk to you about Celtic? To get on your good side like?

 

[billygannon]

Here billygannon, do people come up to you and talk to you about Celtic? To get on your good side like?

No. Do this happen to you?

 

[Hector Grey]

I generally reply with direct insult; mixed in with, "see those leaves you add to food to make it taste nice, they are called Herbs. Herbs. Thats why they spelled it with a H. And planes are made of ALUMINIUM."

Or similar.

erbs is annoying, as i bay-sil and oreg-a-no
however, aluminum is spelt that way. so it's not a pronounciation thing, it's cos it's spelt different.

the cunts.

 

[flashback]

Here billygannon, do people come up to you and talk to you about Celtic? To get on your good side like?

No, but you get the occasional Yank coming over, and congratulating me along with the rest of the IRA, on our victory over the British.

They thought those Brits had it coming to them for a long time... apparantly.
A german person asked me was I shot at much, when I am back home.

I told her you get used to it.