whats long and hard and full of semen? (2 Viewers)

[skinnerchinner]

a big semen filled cock

has anyone got any friday jokes?

 

[Bag'o'cans]

a big semen filled cock

has anyone got any friday jokes?

a submarine full of semen.

 

[Franco]

Who's the soundest guy in the hospital?











The ultrasound guy.

 

[TenRabbits]

What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.


Oh crap.. that's my karma out the window then..

 

[taubstumm]

what did the 0 say to the 8?
nice belt

what did the blind deaf boy get for christmas?
cancer

how do you catch a rabbit?
hide behind a tree and make a noise like a carrot

a paedophile and a kid are walking through a forest when the kids says "god it's really scary walking through this forest" and the paedo replies "yeah and you don't even have to walk back on your own".

 

[broken arm]

What did the mother buffalo say to her child when he went away to school?












Bison.

 

[Osama Van Halen]

HOW DID THE BAKER GET ELECTROCUTED?????

HE STOOD ON A BUN AND THE CURRANT RAN UP HIS LEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HAALLAHQUANDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Franco]

why do anarchists only drink herbal tea?







'Cos property is theft.

 

[taubstumm]

why did little mary fall off the swing?

cos she had no arms

why didn't she get back up?

cos she had no legs

i couldn't decide if 'friday jokes' meant evil or stupid

bit of both, so

here, someone tell the 'no arms, no biccies' one. evil and stupid.

 

[broken arm]

why do anarchists only drink herbal tea?







'Cos property is theft.

ha

 

[skinnerchinner]

what do you call a black irishman with his bollix hangin out

leeroy d

 

[TenRabbits]

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?















You don't know maaan, cos you weren't there maaaan..!!

 

[spiritualtramp]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif] A hydrogen ion wanders into a pub. It orders a double whisky, a pint of beer and bursts into tears. [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]The barman brings the drinks and asks, [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"Why are you upset?" [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"I've lost my electron," bubbles the ion. [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"Are you sure?" asks the barman. [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"Yes, I'm positive." [/font]

 

[plug]

Q: what do tina turner's tampon and ike turner's hand have in common?
A: they both have her blood on them.

Q: what does kim gordon have in common with your grandmother?
A: age.



sorry.

 

[patsharp]

how do you catch a rabbit?
hide behind a tree and make a noise like a carrot


Ha ha ha...Genius.

 

[plug]

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says:

"What are you supposed to be?"

"A premature ejaculation. I've just come in my pants..."

 

[broken arm]

http://www.cartmanthearistocrat.com/

 

[spiritualtramp]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif] A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is walking down the High St. one day when he spots an advert in his local record shop for "Wasp sounds from around the Globe". [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]On further enquiry he discovers that a vinyl recording of this subject has just been released and a few copies are available in store there and then. Naturally, being a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps he is curious and asks the young chap behind the counter if he can have a listen to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe". [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]A few seconds later the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is standing at one of those little sound stations with his headphones on and a puzzled expression on his face. He removes the Headphones, walks back to the counter and catches the young sales person's attention. [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"Excuse me" he says, "I'm A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe", and I must say, there appears to be some mistake. Those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar". [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]The young man dutifully checks the recording in question and assures the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps that he is indeed listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe". Puzzled, the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps returns to the headphones and once again begins to listen. After a few seconds he once again returns to the counter and accosts the young fellow there. [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]"Excuse me" he says, "As I mentioned before, I am a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe" and I have to say again, those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar. Are you certain I have been listening to the correct recording?" [/font]

[font=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]Slightly exasperated by now, the young man checks the disc currently Playing and with a slightly sheepish grin confesses: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Oops, sorry Sir, I seem to have played you the Bee side" [/font]

 

[BC]

three men walk into a pub.
one of them is a little bit stupid.
and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

 

[TenRabbits]

I've just been told this joke by Weslh Chris of Slomatics. This is apparently his favourite joke. The sick fuck.


What's the difference between a prostitute and an onion?
















You don't cry when you're cutting up a prostitute.

Holy. Crap.