Sleep-overs (1 Viewer)

[Dromed]

Ok so i know most of the parents on here have only wee babogs at this stage...but do you think you'll let your nippers have sleep-overs go to sleep overs when they get older?

When we were kids my mam happily packed me and my sister off to various gafs for sleep overs and vice versa...but nowadays it seems a bit odd or something. My wee dude has been asked to one and i'm a bit iffy about the whole thing.. am i being too paranoid or do you think it is a bit of an out dated concept now?

Were you one of those kids that were never allowed kip over in your mates house? Spill the beans.....

 

[Squiggle]

The first time I stayed over at a friend's place I was 5. I was orignially to stay for a weekend (the friend lived up here in Dublin and I'm from down the country) but ended up staying a week. Considering how protective my parents were/are of my younger siblings I am now shocked at how recklessly they behaved with me.

Still though, they had known my friends parents for about 8 or 9 years and I distinctly remember that I was the one who refused to go home after the weekend.

Anyway, if you are feeling even slightly concerned about it you are probably better to say no - there must be a reason for your discomfort.

I would want to know anyone who was going to be responsible for my child, even just for a night, very well.

 

[ernesto]

great film.

i was allowed to stay over in friends' houuses and vice versa.

 

[Dromed]

what's the movie? Or do i want to know?!!

Yeah i dunno what the discomfort is for..or from...there's no real reason behind it to be honest. Just a general suspicion about what goes on in other people's houses, which is pretty unjustified. I guess i just have this awful feeling when i read about shit happening to kids..that basically stemmed from the fact that somewhere along the line their parents trusted someone else to look after their kids in their absence and then abused that trust. I don't want to freak my kid out either or instill any paranoia in him...but he wants a reason as to why i'm not really happy about it..and i want to give him a half reasonable answer. He's a smart kid and won't take a dismissive bullshit reason. And he's hyper excited about it....help??!!

 

[Squiggle]

what's the movie? Or do i want to know?!!

Yeah i dunno what the discomfort is for..or from...there's no real reason behind it to be honest. Just a general suspicion about what goes on in other people's houses, which is pretty unjustified. I guess i just have this awful feeling when i read about shit happening to kids..that basically stemmed from the fact that somewhere along the line their parents trusted someone else to look after their kids in their absence and then abused that trust. I don't want to freak my kid out either or instill any paranoia in him...but he wants a reason as to why i'm not really happy about it..and i want to give him a half reasonable answer. He's a smart kid and won't take a dismissive bullshit reason. And he's hyper excited about it....help??!!

Do you know the parents he will be staying with? If not then maybe you should get to know them. It would be ok to say to your son, I don't know x/x's parents very well and I'd rather get to know them a little before letting you stay over with them.

 

[ernesto]

what's the movie? Or do i want to know?!!

Yeah i dunno what the discomfort is for..or from...there's no real reason behind it to be honest. Just a general suspicion about what goes on in other people's houses, which is pretty unjustified. I guess i just have this awful feeling when i read about shit happening to kids..that basically stemmed from the fact that somewhere along the line their parents trusted someone else to look after their kids in their absence and then abused that trust. I don't want to freak my kid out either or instill any paranoia in him...but he wants a reason as to why i'm not really happy about it..and i want to give him a half reasonable answer. He's a smart kid and won't take a dismissive bullshit reason. And he's hyper excited about it....help??!!

invite them round to your house for dinner or a few drinks and make jokes that belittle their culture and taste.
reckon yer kid will soon stop asking questions about sleepovers. sorted.
or maybe their swingers? there's only one way to find out!

 

[egg_]

I was never EVER allowed to stay over at friends' houses. Even after I left home and went to college in Dublin my ma wanted me to stay with relations at all times - was the same with my brothers when they went to college years later

I don't know how this applies to your situation, Dromed. I wasn't too happy about it when I was a kid, but I eventually realised that my parents weren't out to get me, they just have their own hangups and they can't help themselves. The sooner your youngster realises this about you the better I guess

 

[muffin]

i was allowed to go to sleepovers but generally they were girls from school who i'd known for years and whose parents knew my parents..

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Never went in for them when I was a child.
Went to maybe one or two - friends of parents.

There were a few fait accompli sleepovers when I was 14 / 15.

I can see how your son could be looking forward to it but I'd be wary unless I knew the parents reasonably well. Also depends on his age I suppose.

 

[Pantone247]

Yeah i dunno what the discomfort is for..or from...there's no real reason behind it to be honest. Just a general suspicion about what goes on in other people's houses, which is pretty unjustified. I guess i just have this awful feeling when i read about shit happening to kids..

I spent whole summers living in other peoples houses, I lived a way out of the village we lived in so it seemed to make sense, thinking about it now there was never anything remotely strange about it, but they were simpler days and it was a small village....

If you think it might be something you'd want your kid to do I'd ring the parents of the kid who's having the sleep over (years later turns out my folks were big fans of this behind my back ) under the pretense that you want to make sure they know about it or should you bring anything blah blah... even mention that your not sure if your kiddo can make it for *insert reasonable but vague excuse here* as a back out clause, and see what kind of folks they are... there's a high chance they're good people who'd understand and share your concerns if their child was going somewhere and will hopefully put you at ease....

Though that's just my 2 cents, at the end of the day you have to what your okay with and you are The Boss at the end of the day... I'm always thankful that my parents gave me and my sibs so much freedom and trust... but I do wonder if I'll be the same...

 

[Dromed]

That's the thing you know...everyone says things like 'Jaysus things were never so bad back then' or 'Things were safer when we were kids'..but the shit you read about now was mostly stuff that happend back then when we were nippers and before that with our parents generation. People are way more aware now..to the point of being over cautious. My son started swimming classes in school recentlyand I even feel funny about that and I'm not a panic merchant at all...in fact i'm probably too much the opposite. But it's hard not to let the stuff you read about to sink in on some level. Would you let you kid go off on a scout weekend? I don't think I could. Which is really sad i think.

I'm feeling better about the sleep over thing cos I've talked to the folks involved and to my son...we had another 'stranger-danger/not so stranger-danger' chat...not so easy when he keeps breaking into AC/DCs 'Danger' .|..| every time that chat comes up.

 

[Pantone247]

My da was a scout leader, it's funny to equate the scaremongering, that does exsist, with my da pricking around with some tents in a muddy field in Cavan and getting rained on... anyhow I wouldn't let me kid go scouting cause I think most scouts are assholes... but that's another post

I think you did some good level headed parenting there, well done

 

[theoootini]

great film.

i was allowed to stay over in friends' houuses and vice versa.

jeesis. hope you didnt eat the samiches.