Our Environment, Our Kip (1 Viewer)

[krystal]

Like rugby in Munster and croquet on the lawns of Oxford, self-shitting is the regional sport of choice in the Stoneybatter area. I live near there and have witnessed some of the area's foremost auto-defaecators engaged in their craft.

Also popular is painting one side of your bicyle red and the other side black, then communicating to an invisible helicopter with great urgency, by means of a walkie-talkie which is also, it must be said, difficult to make out.

It's a great spot, Kirstie. You'll fit in like a winged serpent at a children's birthday party.

now i wonder why the estate agent neglected to mention this salient piece of information?

 

[Anne OMalley]

This Is Multi-Storey Compassion - Park Your Bickering Elsewhere

Lads, this thread is for people who care about the environment. Give it a miss.

That is, unless you can offer some information about those massive wood-finish poles sticking out of the ground in the Phoenix Park. What the hell is going on there? The whole place has gotten covered in an unpleasantly soft, brown debris. I can only assume this crud has fallen away like flakes of skin from the tops of these enormous, spidery, mutant logs. Worse, some of these things appear to be made of solid oak and pine - it really is a scandal to have them there, where they are both an eyesore and a waste of precious publishing materials. Smurfit's should be alerted without delay.

And don't get me started on that green pube-like growth that now coats the entire surface of what is - let's not forget - one of Europe's premier city parks. I fear for the lives of the rent boys up there, I really do.

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO CARES?

for who i wonder?

 

[snakybus]

Billy Gannon eh? Not COUSIN Billy Gannon???

occasionally a friend or relation has lurked on this place and correctly identified me, in spite of my pseudonym

which is kind of scary

oh sorry Anne.

Hey what about them kids with kites, eh? kill those fuckers

 

[Ex-User (1487)]

and the kids having kids...

occasionally a friend or relation has lurked on this place and correctly identified me, in spite of my pseudonym

which is kind of scary

oh sorry Anne.

Hey what about them kids with kites, eh? kill those fuckers

 

[Speed Racer]

Re: This Is Multi-Storey Compassion - Park Your Bickering Elsewhere

Lads, this thread is for people who care about the environment. Give it a miss.

That is, unless you can offer some information about those massive wood-finish poles sticking out of the ground in the Phoenix Park. What the hell is going on there? The whole place has gotten covered in an unpleasantly soft, brown debris. I can only assume this crud has fallen away like flakes of skin from the tops of these enormous, spidery, mutant logs. Worse, some of these things appear to be made of solid oak and pine - it really is a scandal to have them there, where they are both an eyesore and a waste of precious publishing materials. Smurfit's should be alerted without delay.

And don't get me started on that green pube-like growth that now coats the entire surface of what is - let's not forget - one of Europe's premier city parks. I fear for the lives of the rent boys up there, I really do.

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO CARES?

Dublin is a kip dude. A scruffy, smelly, filthy, overpriced kip. Run by fat greedy cunts. I suggest you save up your pocket money bigtime and move to a proper country. Well, thats what I'm doin. You can't help a country as fucked up as Ireland, its just meant to rot. Thats why we're all complete Alcho's and E takers. Supposedly.

I'll never understand why foreigners actually move here. Do they want to be abused?

 

[Ex-User (1487)]

Re: This Is Multi-Storey Compassion - Park Your Bickering Elsewhere

hee hee hee

Dublin is a kip dude. A scruffy, smelly, filthy, overpriced kip. Run by fat greedy cunts. I suggest you save up your pocket money bigtime and move to a proper country. Well, thats what I'm doin. You can't help a country as fucked up as Ireland, its just meant to rot. Thats why we're all complete Alcho's and E takers. Supposedly.

I'll never understand why foreigners actually move here. Do they want to be abused?

 

[egg_]

I drove past Ballygannon wood at the weekend
Caused great hilarity in the car

 

[Anne OMalley]

Wood is only as good as the kitchen panelling that calls it into being.

I drove past Ballygannon wood at the weekend
Caused great hilarity in the car

 

[nlgbbbblth]

What's the story with the beach at Sandymount? Has anyone seen it lately? A total mess. Sand strewn everywhere, broken rocks and pebbles flung all over the gaff. Discarded shells, overgrown weeds as far as the eye can see. Then there's all that flooding. How could we have let this happen? I'm no ecologist but this is sick.

Sick.

you know I had a dream about you recently
you were living in a twenty story apartment - in Sandymount - with four blonde girls

and a massive collection of cider cans from all over the world

I was there to borrow an atlas

funny things, dreams

 

[Anne OMalley]

Holy moly. But now you mention it: where's me atlas?

you know I had a dream about you recently
you were living in a twenty story apartment - in Sandymount - with four blonde girls

and a massive collection of cider cans from all over the world

I was there to borrow an atlas

funny things, dreams

 

[highnigh]

Holy moly. But now you mention it: where's me atlas?

would that be an atlas of planet earth???

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Holy moly. But now you mention it: where's me atlas?

atlas : sparked by Geography sleeve?

wherein lies the connection?

 

[Anne OMalley]

This reminds me of a Borges story about an emperor who demands that his cartographers produce him the finest, most detailed map of his empire that has ever existed. They finally deliver an incredible map but the emperor is furious because it's nowhere near detailed enough. So they have another shot at it and build an even bigger, even more detailed one. But the emperor rejects it for the very same reason. (What a wanker.) So back they go for a third attempt, which the emperor again rejects, and so on.

Eventually, of course, it turns out that the map the emperor requires is 1:1 scale, which means the only way to view it will be if it fits precisely over every object in the kingdom.

Now THAT'S a map.

would that be an atlas of planet earth???

 

[jane]

This reminds me of a Borges story about an emperor who demands that his cartographers produce him the finest, most detailed map of his empire that has ever existed. They finally deliver an incredible map but the emperor is furious because it's nowhere near detailed enough. So they have another shot at it and build an even bigger, even more detailed one. But the emperor rejects it for the very same reason. (What a wanker.) So back they go for a third attempt, which the emperor again rejects, and so on.

Eventually, of course, it turns out that the map the emperor requires is 1:1 scale, which means the only way to view it will be if it fits precisely over every object in the kingdom.

Now THAT'S a map.

There's also an Eco essay called 'On the Impossibility of Drawing a Map of the Empire at a Scale of 1:1', which kind of follows on from the Borges story and is really hilarious. Talks about how once you make a map that fits over the whole kingdom, the people actually live in the map, and thus the map is rendered inaccurate, etc, etc. It's great. It's in his 'How to Travel with a Salmon and other Essays'.

I haven't read the Borges one: do you know of a specific collection of stories it's in? I should read it by now, since this whole politics-of-maps thing is my main interest in life (sad but true). And which reminds me to get to work now...

 

[Anne OMalley]

I had a pretty good dream recently. I was at a party. After a few hours I realised I was smoking a cigarette, something I haven't actually done since I quit about three years ago.

Disappointed with myself, it then occurred to me that this was "only a dream", and so I said to myself: hang on, I bet I'm just smoking in the dream and that when I wake up I'll still be a non-smoker. So, to reassure myself, I went into the hallway with the cigarette still in my hand, and stood in front of a full-length mirror.

Sure enough, my reflection did not have a cigarette in its hand...

atlas : sparked by Geography sleeve?

wherein lies the connection?

 

[jane]

I had a pretty good dream recently. I was at a party. After a few hours I realised I was smoking a cigarette, something I haven't actually done since I quit about three years ago.

Disappointed with myself, it then occurred to me that this was "only a dream", and so I said to myself: hang on, I bet I'm just smoking in the dream and that when I wake up I'll still be a non-smoker. So, to reassure myself, I went into the hallway with the cigarette still in my hand, and stood in front of a full-length mirror.

Sure enough, my reflection did not have a cigarette in its hand...

Um, so it was all done with smoke and mirrors?



No, no, don't worry, I'm giving *myself* that 'jane you could have spared us the bad joke' look. In the mirror. And, sure enough, it's giving it RIGHT back. this is not a dream.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I had a pretty good dream recently. I was at a party. After a few hours I realised I was smoking a cigarette, something I haven't actually done since I quit about three years ago.

Disappointed with myself, it then occurred to me that this was "only a dream", and so I said to myself: hang on, I bet I'm just smoking in the dream and that when I wake up I'll still be a non-smoker. So, to reassure myself, I went into the hallway with the cigarette still in my hand, and stood in front of a full-length mirror.

Sure enough, my reflection did not have a cigarette in its hand...

lawks a-mussy

 

[highnigh]

This reminds me of a Borges story about an emperor who demands that his cartographers produce him the finest, most detailed map of his empire that has ever existed. They finally deliver an incredible map but the emperor is furious because it's nowhere near detailed enough. So they have another shot at it and build an even bigger, even more detailed one. But the emperor rejects it for the very same reason. (What a wanker.) So back they go for a third attempt, which the emperor again rejects, and so on.

Eventually, of course, it turns out that the map the emperor requires is 1:1 scale, which means the only way to view it will be if it fits precisely over every object in the kingdom.

Now THAT'S a map.

jeez i wish i had stories like tha ti tell ,i could make the world a faser plake