cv bluffing (3 Viewers)

[carbide]

gimme stories. the more ridiculous, the better.

i have to send an art one in this weekend for something and since i feel like a gigantic fraud being in the running for it in the first place, i'm tempted for the first time to lie my arse off.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

do you still have to supply two referees at the end of the CV.

lie about the job that you haven't provided a referee for.

 

[Squiggle]

gimme stories. the more ridiculous, the better.

i have to send an art one in this weekend for something and since i feel like a gigantic fraud being in the running for it in the first place, i'm tempted for the first time to lie my arse off.

You shouldn't need to lie about it. In my experience most prospective employers worth working for are more interested in what you want to do than what you've done in the past.

If it lies within the realm of your abilities... well, just be honest. You're an extremely capable person carbide.

 

[HMD]

i said i was the touch the hutch world champion 1994 on one CV

 

[Bellatrix]

i said i was the touch the hutch world champion 1994

I don't know what that is but I like the sound of it.

 

[carbide]

do you still have to supply two referees at the end of the CV.

heh. did anyone else coast for several years on a reference from a differently-named relative who'd employed you for about a week?

If it lies within the realm of your abilities... well, just be honest. You're an extremely capable person carbide.

aw, cheers. i must confess that i don't actually have it in me to lie about anything, more that the situation is so preposterously lucky that i feel like i should have something like

2001-2003 unicorn
duties included looking magical, appearing in crap fantasy art and occasional cameos as lower-back tattoos. some light book-keeping.

 

[HMD]

i used to work with a girl in carlow in 95. She had on her CV

April 93 - may 94 worked in (What ever the name of the mental home is in carlow)

duties included: preparing slice pans for evening meals.


i shit you not, preparing slice pans for evening meals.

 

[The Schnapper]

Make sure to include your community games 100m results in the hobbies/interests section

 

[Squiggle]

i used to work with a girl in carlow in 95. She had on her CV

April 93 - may 94 worked in (What ever the name of the mental home is in carlow)

duties included: preparing slice pans for evening meals.


i shit you not, preparing slice pans for evening meals.

That would be St Lazerian's.

I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who worked there.

What were you doing in Carlow?

 

[carbide]

Make sure to include your community games 100m results in the hobbies/interests section

oh! no kidding, i saw the cv of a consultant doctor with a massive list of big achievements...and his primary school award for perfect attendance. i think i fell in love.

 

[Space]

i used to work with a girl in carlow in 95. She had on her CV

April 93 - may 94 worked in (What ever the name of the mental home is in carlow)

duties included: preparing slice pans for evening meals.


i shit you not, preparing slice pans for evening meals.

That shows alot of inititive. Most of us wouldn't bother preparing the sliced pan, but this girl took it upon herself to do it. And for the old folks no less what a hero.

 

[Space]

oh! no kidding, i saw the cv of a consultant doctor with a massive list of big achievements...and his primary school award for perfect attendance. i think i fell in love.

If I had perfect attendance I'd put it on my cv too.

 

[Squiggle]

primary school award for perfect attendance. i think i fell in love.

Don't... they were the "typhoid mary's" of the class. Nothing got them down... measles, mumps, german measles, flu... they'd be in school - because their parents didn't care enough about them to keep them home. The result was that all the rest of us would catch the "virus du jour" and loving folks would confine us to bed... thus ending our hopes of winning the "best attendance" award for another year.

 

[HMD]

That would be St Lazerian's.

I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who worked there.

What were you doing in Carlow?

i got my first job doing what i do now in a company called AE features which the MD drank into the ground. Was there for just over a year. are you from there?

That shows alot of inititive. Most of us wouldn't bother preparing the sliced pan, but this girl took it upon herself to do it. And for the old folks no less what a hero.

it came up in conversation at a tea break one time and she said "it was a very important job because if one fella got one more slice that someone else there'd be murder"

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

i won the texaco colouring in competition in association with our local fire brigade in 93 so i dont think theres any need to tart up my cv.

 

[Squiggle]

i got my first job doing what i do now in a company called AE features which the MD drank into the ground. Was there for just over a year. are you from there?

From County Carlow - worked and lived in Carlow town for a while - then moved to Dublin. Carlow would be great... if all the employers there weren't complete assholes.

 

[Space]

i won the texaco colouring in competition in association with our local fire brigade in 93 so i dont there will be any tarting up on my cv.

all outta rep

 

[Squiggle]

all outta rep

I'll take care of it

 

[Diddles]

i won the texaco colouring in competition in association with our local fire brigade in 93 so i dont there will be any tarting up on my cv.

I won a Texaco art award years ago. I've a lovely picture of me and some TD
at this do in the Burlington presenting me with my prize. You got a coice of a typewriter, a tent or a swing.

Needless to say, I chose the swing even though I was far too old for one.


I've never lied on a CV, although I do tend to leave things out. I used to tell the young folks on my college course not to be putting 'head boy', 'best in class medal 1999-2001' and the like on their CV's as potential employers would be passing this round the office for everyone's amusement before fucking it in the bin. None of them believed me, which is why none of them have jobs doing what they spent four years learning about.

 

[classic seanc]

My CV says I'm in the process of setting up a company. It's true and everything, its just that I've been in that process for a looooonng time now.